


Counting Down Roses

by Geishaaa, LethanWolf



Category: Bleach
Genre: Abusive Ex, Abusive Relationships, Boss/Employee Relationship, CEO, Company owner, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, alternative universe, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-06-26 07:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 69,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15658164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geishaaa/pseuds/Geishaaa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LethanWolf/pseuds/LethanWolf
Summary: Toshiro is an illusive CEO of a major gaming company who keeps himself hidden because he despises the way he looks. What will become of his social anxiety when the newly employed Head of Marketing sparks emotions he never thought he'd ever feel. {Correlating fic to Geishaaa's; written from Toshiros POV}.





	1. The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the next collaboration project by myself and Geishaaa!!  
> Just like our ‘Mind of an Ice Prince / Princess’ story this will be the same story told from two characters perspectives, this time the pairing is Rangiku and Toshiro. Same as before if you guys want to read the full story then make sure you go over and check out her chapter. We recommend reading them both together to get the bigger picture.  
> This fic has been rated based on future events including some trigger warnings of past rape, mostly from Geishaaa’s chapter but I wanted to put the warning into my story as well.  
> This will be updated once a week whenever we are both free and both chapters will be updated around the same time / day. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy!!!!

The usual sign of Toshiro’s hard work was currently sat to the left of his mouse; a half-finished grande white chocolate mocha. Yes he was often teased relentlessly by his peers, that is to say his two best friends Yukio and Rukia for his Starbucks orders. Sometimes he liked incredibly strong coffee but most of the time he had a sweet tooth that could rival any five year olds. Lifting the sweet drink to his lips he casually took a sip, relishing in how it had managed to retain the heat despite the cool Russian air flowing in from the open window of the St Petersburg hotel.

Toshiro was the billionaire owner of the most popular computer console company that made the Z – Box. The company had started as a sort of bet between himself and Yukio. His best friend was one of the best known gamers on the earth and though he could happily live out of Toshiro’s pocket he still made a living for himself taking part in contests and running a Youtube gaming channel on the side dedicated to helping others overcome the hardest levels.

Toshiro had started out trying to create or invent a game that his friend could never beat. It was a race they were still running to this day and though Toshiro had made several games, there had not been one to this day that Yukio hadn’t managed to beat. The friendly rival was what created the console and the rising company of the Z – Box. Now you’re probably thinking; why not create a game that was _impossible_. One that literally could never be won? Toshiro had tried that as well, Yukio had broken into the coding of the game and reprogrammed it so it could still be beaten. It was part of the reason Toshiro tried to create his own console to stop his friend from doing that however no matter how hard he tried Yukio still had a knack of figuring everything out and manipulating it.

Thus the amazing company with impossible RPG, first player shooter and horror games were born. There didn’t even seem to be a single game that could scare Yukio enough into not playing it and now Toshiro paid other employees to create the content for him. Yukio gave a lot of valuable input into the game making process but their trio was incomplete until Rukia had been employed.

Toshiro didn’t handle any of the public side of relations, given his appearance thus when Rukia had her interview it was by Captain Ukitake (everyone of important status in the company was called ‘Captain’ really the idea had been Yukio’s.) Ukitake had loved Rukia and when Yukio met her he did too. Rukia eventually managed to wriggle her way into the business and it was only when Toshiro realised he recognised her from a gamming youth club his Gran took him too that he invited her to personally dine with him.

Toshiro was elusive, no one knew that he was the company owner except for a handful of trusted associates, Captain Ukitake, Yukio, Rukia and one or two of the heads of departments including Isshin Shiba who had helped Toshiro design games back in school. Toshiro had plucked Captain Shiba away from his duties at the community High School and whisked him away into a gaming developer world of his dreams, even his son Ichigo now worked with the company as well and the entire corporation was becoming a family.

Since Toshiro wanted his appearance to be kept secret he travelled from country to country to work, mostly staying in hotels and never really settling down. Though he made no public appearances as himself he often would meet other business men to promote his product in their country as a ‘representative’ of the firm rather than the owner. He figured a few of the business men would have kept their comments more discrete if they knew he was the actual owner, either that or laugh in his face. He was more than a little self-conscious of his appearance.

Toshiro sighed and hugged his cup of liquid chocolate to his chest, glancing up at the hotel window which was still open, icy draft cooling the temperature of the room down to below mild. Toshiro loved the cold, even if the Russian cold was quite excessive he preferred to sleep in a cold bedroom and the heating in the hotel wasn’t compliant with his preferences. Thus the combination resulted in a steamy looking window dewing with condensation.

His hotel bedroom door banged open and his obnoxious best friend entered the room. Yukio had a pair of tight white slacks on, coupled with a black button down shirt and white bow tie. Really it was a look only he could pull off. His hair was pushed back from his right eye obscuring the left entirely from view as he hissed at the temperature of the room.

‘Are the dead crossing over in here or something?’ Yukio gasped and ran his own hands up and down his arms. It was another one of those on-going debates they had. Sometimes Yukio would crash on Toshiro’s bed and complain when he woke up with a cold or flu and demanded time off work, to which Toshiro would remind him that he didn’t _technically_ work for Toshiro.

‘Yes they are, your dead parents say hi by the way,’ Toshiro said without missing a beat as he turned back to his laptop.

‘That’s cold Toshiro,’ Yukio said but there was no bite at all to his words, in fact he almost laughed. ‘Are your parents having fun with them?’ he asked and Toshiro smiled. They’d both lost their parents when they were too young to really remember them. It was something they’d bonded over when they met, but like a good best friend Yukio didn’t mention Toshiro’s Gran at all. There wasn’t a single day went by where he didn’t miss her.

Yukio flopped down on Toshiro’s bed and Toshiro swirled his chair around to look at his friend. Yukio had charged in with purpose and now that Toshiro looked at him he could clearly see Yukio’s business phone in one hand and a head piece in the same ear. He was starting work early today, normally the blond boy didn’t start work until at least 10am.

‘Captain Uke wants to know if you’re able to do an interview today over Skype?’ he asked glancing up at Toshiro from his phone. Sometimes Toshiro would be jealous of his friend, Yukio was young looking for his age but he was unfairly attractive and he knew it. He could get almost any girl he wanted and often would take advantage of his looks and slip into a bit of a playboy role. Toshiro didn’t have the confidence to yet embrace how small and different he looked, so he’d not really found anyone he’d wanted to spend his time with.

‘Earth to Shiro?’ Yukio tossed a bit of scrunched up paper from his pocket over at him and it narrowly missed Toshiro’s drink. Glaring at his friend and covering the mouth of his liquid gold to protect it he responded.

‘Who am I interviewing exactly?’

‘New marketing director, since Lieutenant Momo left the position really needs to be filled,’ Yukio didn’t spare any sympathetic glance in Toshiro’s direction at the name. Momo was Toshiro’s cousin but they’d never seen eye to eye. Toshiro had let her work for the company because he felt bad for her but to be honest she was useless at her job. Toshiro and Rukia often had to pick up her slack and it was neither of their jobs to do. Instead she’d run off to help her boyfriend Aizen at their largest competitive company that made the GS4 range of computing consoles. Despite her change in loyalty she made a promise on her own life never to reveal who he was to anyone and Toshiro knew that despite everything she’d never go back on that promise. Besides even if she did she only knew him to be a director not the company owner.

It was all about playing your cards right after all.

‘Who am I interviewing this time?’ Toshiro asked, only moderately curious, the last two he’d interviewed had been worse than Momo and that was saying something.

‘Hmm, Captain Shiba recommended her, said he knows her personally she’s a hard worker. She actually did a lot of work for Gin and GS4.’

That sparked his curiosity, a competitor coming over from the other side? Perhaps it was to try and sabotage them? Though Toshiro knew and trusted Isshin, if he recommended this girl then it was worth at least giving her an interview.

‘I know,’ Yukio said when he glanced up and caught his friend staring, ‘I thought it was fishy too but the Captain really recommends her so…’ he trailed off and Toshiro nodded.

‘Alright then, schedule her in what time is it over there just now?’

‘It’s about 15:02pm,’ Yukio said checking his google watch and world clock app.

‘Alright,’ Toshiro glanced at his computer it was 09:02am, ‘tell him to set up the interview for 16:00pm.’ Toshiro turned back towards his desk as he brought up his own schedule, slotting the interview in his calendar for 10:00am.

‘Yes sir,’ Yukio stood up but before he left the room he walked over and closed the window just to fuck with him, as he left Toshiro tossed the bit of paper that nearly assaulted his drink earlier to catch his friend in the back of his head.

One wouldn’t think these two boys were billionaire business owners.

 

The hour flew by, punctured only by the occasional useless email and Skype call where Toshiro only ever used his voice. Most of the people in his company were completely competent but every now and again there would be one…

Said one was Shunsui, who dealt with communications between major game developers. Though their own company created a lot of games as well as the platform to play them on they also worked with big name companies to bring the major games to their platforms in a format that created profit while still being reputable. However Shunsui had forgotten another meeting with EA and now they were threatening to pull their line of football related games from their platform. Toshiro only kept him around because he was married to Ukitake and Toshiro liked Ukitake.

Toshiro barely had time to get back from the bathroom before he was hitting the call button for a standard training ID they used on the system for testing and for interviews.

When the call connected Toshiro glanced up at the voice.

‘Hello?’ it asked, sounding almost a little unsure. The voice was high, feminine and was the kind of voice Toshiro was sure most men would pay good money to hear on the other end of a phone call.

‘Hello,’ he said, knowing his own voice often confused people for how deep it sounded yet did not at all match the picture he actually presented, ‘this is Mr Hyorinmaru, may I start by taking your name?’ he asked, giving her his companies alibi name.

‘Y-yes Sir, my name is Matsumoto, Rangiku Matsumoto.’ Her name rolled off her tongue beautifully and though Toshiro wanted to relish in the way it sounded it was incredibly obvious this girl was completely out of his league. Thus he spent absolutely no time in even entertaining the thoughts of trying to picture what she looked like based on her voice alone. It was a pointless exercise anyway and it was already late in the afternoon and he had several more calls to make after this one.

‘Alright Matsumoto,’ he said, trying to stop his voice sounding too harsh and tired, ‘why did you choose to work for us?’ Normally it was question that came a little later in the interview but given the position that she had originally come from he wanted to ascertain the exact reasoning behind her wishing to join the company.

‘Oh, well I have experience in this field, it’s something I know that I’m good at and I enjoy, did you…’ she trailed off a little, ‘did you get my CV?’

‘Hm,’ Toshiro leaned back on his desk chair glancing at the word document he brought up on screen. It was incredibly well written despite the feminine boarder around the outside of the document. ‘Yes I did,’ his eyes made quick work glancing over it just now. The truth was he’d not had a chance to properly read it but it did detail what her job was at Game Station. She’d been involved in the major marketing campaigns for the GS4, some of those marketing campaigns caused the Z – Box to dip terribly in sales over Christmas the same year they released their eagerly awaited Z- Box One. Even Toshiro had to admit that having Matsumoto would be an incredible asset to their business.

‘It’s very impressive,’ he said after a few moments and he meant it. It was but he was still not quite sure of her motives. Perhaps it was money? That was one thing that often scunnered loyalty.

‘Why did you choose to leave Game Station?’

‘Oh,’ she was thoughtful for a few moments which gave Toshiro a little more time to scan over her CV. She had impressive scores from one of the top Universities as well… suddenly an image of a smaller girl (a bit like Rukia) with large glasses sprung to mind and he smiled fondly.

‘I choose to leave because the CEO and I did not see eye to eye,’ she eventually said. However her tone was different, her tone was off. This sentence was almost spoken with an undertone of malice that Toshiro had not heard at all in the rest of the call. It sparked his curiosity and he leaned forward, aware she couldn’t see him. He clasped his fingers on the desk and rested his chin against them as he contemplated that response.

‘I see,’ he finally said, ‘why don’t you tell me a little bit about your day to day roles?’ he decided to take the conversation in a different way, not directly addressing what had happened with the CEO. He’d come back to that later once he’d had a chance to more closely analyse her speech pattern.

As she spoke about her previous job it was clear her enthusiasm was sincere. She was bubbly, upbeat and cheerful, overall a pleasure to listen too. More than once Toshiro found himself smirking a little at her tales of how she lead the marketing campaign and how changing a simple colour in a final advertisement had secured them their high end winter sales.

‘Oh believe me,’ he chuckled a note of teasing now in his voice, ‘I know all about those sales. That was a bad winter for us.’

‘Sorry,’ she quickly said and he could tell this too was a sincere apology.

‘Don’t be, it was impressive. Forgive me for asking but it is my job,’ he knew enough of her voice now to try and circle back to the question about Gin, the CEO of Game Station. ‘What exactly did not see eye to eye with Gin about?’ For a brief moment Toshiro wasn’t sure if the call had disconnected or not because she did not respond for a while. He was almost going to take the question back or ask if she was alright when she finally did choose to answer.

‘We were dating,’ she said.

Oh. _Oh._ That explained a lot. Still she continued anyway.

‘We broke up and the breakup was… difficult. I want nothing more than to be far away from him.’

There was something in her voice that caused Toshiro to frown. He’d been raised by his Gran to be an old fashioned gentleman, in the world today there weren’t many of them left but there was a touch of helplessness in her tone… an edge of desperation that instantly alerted Toshiro’s inner protective side.

‘Well,’ he said finally, trying to shove that side of himself down. Really… he could be making assumptions about nothing here. ‘That shouldn’t be an issue anymore, from today onwards you will be working directly under myself as director of marketing,’ he said. He tried not to think about the potential sexual innuendo that slipped out and what Yukio would tease him about if he’d heard it. Just because he made an innocent mistake like that did not mean his friend would tease the shit out of him for it.

‘Oh thank you!’ she squeaked and suddenly her whole persona seemed to have transformed. Taken aback Toshiro blinked dumbly at his screen for a moment, listening to her eventually clear her throat and try to compose herself.

‘You’re welcome, for the time being most of your work will come from Ukitake but I’ll check in from time to time and may chat with you myself.’

‘Of course,’ she responded, her happiness and relief still evident in her voice.

‘For just now though I must go, I have another call starting.’ He glanced at the clock and bit his lip to stop him from sighing. ‘I hope you have a good evening, welcome to Zeltrix,’ Toshiro said as he clicked the hang up button turning his attention to the new Skype invite that had popped up in his calendar. He was already five minutes late for the meeting but he wasn’t leading it anyway, he was only expected to listen. He slipped into the call where his employee was sharing his screen showing off a graph which Toshiro could already tell he’d put far too much work into. With a sigh, Toshiro leaned back on his chair and debated opening the cabinet to reach for a bottle of whisky, surely it wasn’t too early in the morning to start drinking? He didn’t think so… not when he looked at his schedule for the day.  

 

*

 

Their next stop was Moscow, it made sense to do the two stops while they were in Russia. This one wasn’t for Toshiro’s benefit though it did make sense to keep moving around, this one was for Yukio’s. He’d been invited to one of the giant gaming conventions where everyone was cosplaying as different characters. He was expected to speak on a panel and do a live let’s play stream at the same time as allowing others to play along.

Toshiro and Rukia wanted to go for moral support but of course Toshiro stuck out like a sore thumb. They thankfully had a way around this. Toshiro put his cosplay on, dressing up as Archer from Fate Stay Night since he too had white hair. Though Toshiro had much paler complexion he usually often got complimented on his cosplay regardless and he could throw the hood up when he was done dealing with the world.

Rukia was going as Mikasa from Attack on Titan purely because her hair was nearly the same length and together they blended into the background of other cosplayers. Yukio didn’t dress up at all, soaking up the attention as they made their way through the event.

For the most part Toshiro ended up outside on the phone. It was a good thing he was fluent in eight different languages, he was quickly speaking in rapid Japanese to one of the game directors for Final Fantasy. They needed to secure a good enough deal and Toshiro was hard at work trying to build a relationship with them while not jeopardising their own profits.

Eventually Toshiro agreed to call later on that evening when everyone else would be asleep. He’d have to set an alarm for stupid o’clock in the morning but that was just part of his job. He turned and made his way back inside, finding Rukia exactly where he’d left her at the coffee spot.

‘Yukio’s panel will be starting soon,’ she muttered sipping on her drink, ‘did you want to go?’

‘I suppose we should,’ he huffed but they both rose obediently again and made their way through to the convention area. Rukia was fluent in a couple of languages too but none of them were Russian and Yukio couldn’t bother himself to learn anything other than the swear words and cheesiest one liners for dating. Though he had at least been taught English in school as was often standard in most Japanese schools. Plus as he’d put it… “English chicks were hot.”

Everyone around them babbled away in Russian dressed as either comic book characters, gaming characters, anime or TV characters. It was in places like this that Toshiro actually felt normal and that feeling was hard for him to come by. It resounded deeply inside, like a warm feeling he assumed one may get being held by a parent. Not that he’d know of course.

‘Sit up there?’ Rukia asked pointing to a row of seats to the back where they’d be able to see fine and not be disturbed. Toshiro followed her lead and they both slotted into seats. He reached into his outfit and pulled out his work phone and his burner phone switching them both to silent.

Thankfully the person hosting the panel could translate into English as Yukio was called out onto the stage. Toshiro tried not to roll his eyes with a fond smile, Yukio was genuinely up himself. He looked good on the stage dressed in a tight dark green shirt that highlighted his eyes and tight black jeans.

‘Let’s get this party started then,’ he laughed and the man hosting translated for everyone. The panel lasted over an hour, questions being delivered in Russian or sometimes broken English and translated for Yukio to answer and back again. Yukio was charismatic, flirting openly with gay men just as much as the women and as they watched Toshiro could hear Rukia scoffing beside him.

Toshiro wasn’t an idiot. In fact he was sort of a genius. He didn’t have much experience with women it was true but even he could see the way Rukia would look at Yukio.

‘He’s such a git,’ she huffed under her breath folding her arms, ‘he’s acting like he’s the one man show for this company.’

‘Well it’s a good smokescreen,’ Toshiro said, only making her huff further in return. He’d never really known what to say or do when someone who was very obviously interested in someone was in denial. Like how do you even have that conversation? How do you broach it at all? So he decided he’d just stay silent…

‘Does he have to keep pushing his hair back from his right eye, he could push it back from the left for once.’

‘You know he thinks it looks cool,’ Toshiro sighed and glanced down at his phone. His Skype had a couple of notifications beside it, most of it just useless patter from people trying to get his attention despite having other people they were meant to report too but one was a quick message from Matsumoto.

**Matsumoto 13:22pm**

**I’ve sent something to your assistant to get approval but I think it’s maybe her day off. It’s a brief for a new marketing strategy we’ve been working on.**

 

Toshiro glanced to Rukia and smiled a little at the way she glared at Yukio. Yeah it was kind of a day off, they were technically working and though Rukia wasn’t exactly his assistant it was sort of adopted as part of her role. Toshiro didn’t like having an assistant he liked doing things himself.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 13:24pm**

**I will have a look when I next get to my laptop.**

He paused on the verge of wanting to say more when his eyes skimmed the time. It would be nearly 7:30pm back in Tokyo… what was she doing still working at this time? She was meant to work 8:30am – 5pm even though it wasn’t uncommon for some employees to stay until 6pm finishing up. She’d obviously been working hard on this strategy which meant the first steps of it must be rolling out soon. He quickly swapped out the app and put a calendar reminder in to check it out later. He swapped back into Skype to see his message had been read.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 13:27pm**

**I appreciate the long working hours, make sure you don’t stay in the office too long though. If I’m due you overtime or TOIL let me know.**

**Matsumoto 13:28pm**

**I appreciate that Sir, I just lost track of time. Totally my fault but I hope you’ll appreciate the end result :)**

 

Did she just put a smiley face to her boss? Toshiro stared down at the tiny handset, no one really sent him smiley faces except Rukia and Yukio and sometimes Ichigo if he was feeling particularly friendly. He squinted his eyes at it, not quite sure what to make of it.

‘What are you smiling at?’

He started, his hand gripping his phone in a tiny death grip and looked up at Rukia who was watching him.

‘What?’

‘You, you’re smiling,’ she smiled gently back at him, ‘don’t get me wrong I don’t want you to stop just wanted to know the joke.’

‘Oh,’ he hadn’t realised he’d actually been smiling but now that he cast his mind back perhaps his face had decided to assign that particular look as he read the message. ‘Nothing important. New marketing strategies.’

‘Dear god you need a girlfriend,’ she sighed and turned back to watch as Yukio gave his final bows. Toshiro resisted the urge to make a sly comment about Yukio but kept his mouth shut. His grandmother hadn’t raised him to be disrespectful towards women including teasing them for their choice of love interest. He turned back to his phone instead.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 13:32pm**

**I am sure I will.**

He resisted the urge to post a smiling face back, because really that would destroy the cold and distant display he put across to the rest of the business even if he had typed it and then deleted it. He turned his attention to their surroundings as people began shuffling about and out the hall. Naturally they waited back as Yukio would be lead to the signing area where he could sign posters and games.

‘You missed the giveaway and everything,’ Rukia commented, ‘who were you texting anyway.’

‘Just the marketing team, it was Skype nothing to read into.’ He rolled his eyes and stretched out hearing his bones groan uncomfortably under his skin at being huddled down in an uncomfortable seat for so long. They made their way out into the main lobby, taking a moment to really experience just how many people, stalls, entertainment and companies were all here as part of a world they helped create. Everywhere they turned there were people dressed as their gaming characters, stalls dedicated to T-shirts and other merchandise of their gaming series and even boxes of mystery gifts for people to buy.

The next few hours were spent scooping out some of the sly marketing of the stalls of their competitors and they stopped to speak to an artist who prided herself exclusively on drawing for them. Apparently Rukia was following her on twitter.

Toshiro didn’t get a chance to take another work call until they were heading out to a restaurant for dinner. They’d eat and then head straight back to the hotel. The entire room was packed full of colourful people in costumes as well as a couple of normal working families looking on with interest.

Toshiro took a call from Ukitake at the dinner table, knowing it was probably impolite but also aware if he left the order up to Yukio he’d end up with something he didn’t like. He jabbered away in Japanese while the staff gave him funny looks, pointing at the menu for what he wanted to order.

‘Are you really sure you’re okay to take a call with Mintendo at 3am?’ he huffed down the line. Toshiro smiled to himself, knowing that Ukitake had sort of taken him under his wing, like an uncle and he hid his smile behind his glass.

‘Yes, I’m not a child,’ he tried to make it sound authoritative but it came out far too fond. Ukitake hummed down the line but it sounded a little like he wanted to disagree.

‘Are you sleeping and eating enough?’

‘Yes Uncle,’ he huffed and he heard the older man chuckle, ‘speaking of which you’re interrupting dinner so I better go. It’s late there anyway and you should be in bed too.’ Toshiro heard Shunsui calling him back to bed in the background confirming his point.

‘Alright, just take care.’

Once they said their goodbyes Toshiro did his best to focus on the meal at hand. Yukio was a dominant ray of sunshine as always, flirting with male and female waitresses alike much to the chagrin of Rukia.

‘Would you quit it? You’re not even gay,’ she hissed under her breath. Toshiro looked up in time to see an affronted look cross Yukio’s face.

‘I could be if I wanted to,’ he shot back, ‘some of the guys here are pretty attractive.

‘No you couldn’t,’ she scowled, ‘you have to be born that way.’

‘Nothing wrong with a little experimentation,’ he flicked at pea at her and she looked like she wanted to strangle him.

‘Ignore him he always gets a big head when we attend these events you know that.’ Toshiro said to her, she deflated after that. The silence was tense that followed, Toshiro loved them both dearly but lately things had been getting worse between them. Rukia was getting more and more easily riled up by the little things Yukio did that never used to bother her before. At the same time Yukio knew fine well she was getting annoyed with him and seemed to be doing everything within his power to annoy her further.

Once the meals arrived the conversation had taken a more positive turn, Toshiro lead it of course, discussing where they currently stood with their deal to secure old school NES and Sega games through Mintendo to play on their device. Yukio was more curious about this than Rukia, he’d been raised on the same old school games as Toshiro.

‘So you’re calling them at 3am?’

‘Yes,’ Toshiro instantly scowled at the look that crossed her face. He already had Ukitake fathering him, he didn’t want Rukia to mother him.

‘Alright,’ she said after a moment of obvious conflict crossing her features. ‘Then make sure you get a long lie, we don’t need to be at the airport until later on in the day anyway.’

‘Alright,’ Toshiro finished off his meal as Yukio continued to chatter about the Sega games he knew would do well and the possibility of an alliance to remake the old bomber man series in a new digital age.

Both Rukia and Yukio got on better during the walk back to the hotel. They decided to spend a bit of time in the hotel lobby having a couple of drinks. On the TV they’d been watching an Ice Hockey match between two of Russia’s leading teams when a girl with long red hair dressed in a Black Widow cosplay approached the table.

‘Are you Yukio Hans?’ she asked, her accent clearly northern from somewhere in Ireland. Yukio turned to look at her and Toshiro watched, ready to see the master in action.

‘Yeah I am,’ Yukio’s entire demeanour changed, he became completely aloof, relaxed. She smiled, almost smirking at him where he sat in the stool, it was clear she was almost a good head taller than him but where he was sitting they were eye level. 

‘I really enjoyed your play through of the new UnderWatch,’ she said it while leaning into his space, ‘I can’t believe you raised so much money for charity. My friend and I,’ she nodded her head back behind her where there was a girl cosplaying as Scarlet Witch, ‘loved watching that stream.’

‘Oh,’ Yukio glanced at the other red head and back again with an innocent smile on his face, ‘well I needed to sleep for like a week after playing for 32 hours straight.’ He laughed and she laughed with him, her entire body posture changing and moulding into his space.

‘Well we wondered if you’d maybe want to come and play some games with us tonight?’ she asked and Yukio’s face lit up.

‘Epic Games just released Fortnite, I heard it’s meant to be brutal,’ he smiled up at her the perfect picture of pure innocence.

‘That sounds fun,’ she smirked at him.

‘Toshiro I’ll catch up with you and Rukia tomorrow I’m going to play Fortnite with Black Widow and Scarlet Witch.’ He slipped off his stool laying down some cash for his drinks and babbled about the Fortnite character setup all the way towards the elevator where the two women followed him.

Toshiro was a little jealous, he made it look so easy.

No Fortnite would be played that night of course.

With a sigh Toshiro turned back to see Rukia glaring down at her glass and he rubbed his face. He couldn’t be bothered dealing with this conversation right now, did that make him a bad friend?

‘I’m going to bed,’ Rukia said after a few seconds of awkward silence. Toshiro resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief, he glanced at the clock and noticed it was only just after 7pm but decided not to argue.  He knew there were emails gathering up in his inbox and he would rather take care of them right now.

‘Alright have a good night, I’ll speak to you tomorrow,’ there was a promise there that if she wanted to open up he’d listen. She was his friend after all. When Rukia took her leave Toshiro put his cash down, tipping well and left for his own hotel suite. He spent the dwindling hours answering emails and confirming plans for upcoming content releases with Ichigo and his father.

It ended with Toshiro collapsing in bed, his cosplay discarded across the useless hotel chair that sat in the corner next to the open window.

No sooner had he closed his eyes than his alarm had sounded, forcing him to wake up with a huff. Maybe a 3am call had not been a good idea. He silenced the alarm quickly not wishing to disturb any possible neighbours and made his way over to the desk where his laptop sat asleep and mostly ready for him to use. Wishing he had a coffee he put his earpiece in and started the call.

Hardly the most riveting he did manage to make a joke around the timezones with the final fantasy creator. He was very good at playing the game, building up the right amount of empathy that soon lead to a deal. Overall the call had been worth getting up for and as Toshiro rubbed his eyes he glanced at the twitching icon of his Skype suggesting that someone else was messaging him.

Matsumoto!

He’d forgotten to look over the documents she’d sent in. He glared down at his phone even though he knew he’d forgotten to turn on the alarm in his haste to avoid a difficult conversation with Rukia.

**Matsumoto 4:10am**

**Did you get a chance to look over the marketing proposal? :)**

 

Shit, he quickly scampered to bring it up and he hastily cast his eyes over it. The more he studied the proposal the more he was blown away, it was clear that the marketing team were getting with the times entering into a new digital era and going for the jugular of their competitors with quirky marketing slogans that would have fans howling on social media. It was modern, it was clever and holy fuck was he glad he had hired her.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:23am**

**Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, I’ve been busy. Just looked at it now, it looks really good.**

**I see the angle you’re taking and with social media the way it is just now I trust it will work.**

 

He would trust her of course, she worked closely with some of his own personal favourite employees including Ichigo and that lanky strawberry was always on social media.

**Matsumoto 4:25am**

**Thank you! :)**

**We’ve been working on a timeline for release and strategy as well as risks associated. Do you have time to look over this too?**

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:25am**

**At the moment I don’t I actually am about to go back to bed, however send them on I will look them over in the morning.**

**Matsumoto 4:26am**

**Bed? D:  
How long were you up last night? **

Toshiro forgot that she didn’t realise he wasn’t in Japan. He smiled fondly at the screen and deliberated for a moment… he almost never told anyone in his company where he was or what he was doing but… perhaps it was those childish smiley faces she kept sending? He decided it couldn’t hurt.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:29am**

**I’m in Moscow, it’s almost half four in the morning here.**

**Matsumoto 4:30am**

**Oh wow, Sir you should really get to sleep, I’ll stop chattering on. I’ll send you those documents and then you can just send on your thoughts when you can.**

Toshiro tried not to feel a little disappointed… he’d almost wanted her to keep chattering on. Perhaps it was just a deep set loneliness speaking, maybe it was the fact he could still hear her voice warm like camomile tea in his head every time she typed something. He reached out, ready to punch the characters of farewell when she responded back.

**Matsumoto 4:32am**

**I’ve never been to Moscow before.**

He grinned before he could stop himself, his fingers happily clicking along the keyboard for this reply while he resisted the urge to look her up in the company phonebook. Her display picture had still not been added to the system and normally the efficiency of such a task by IT wouldn’t bother him but now it was starting too. How long did it take to do anyway? Matsumoto had been working for the company for a number of weeks now.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:32am**

**It’s a beautiful city, a little conservative like Japan compared to the rest of the world though.**

**Matsumoto 4:33am**

**:o Where else in the world have you been?**

Toshiro smiled at that, he could just tell her this was a once off kind of trip. He’d come to Moscow for something and would be flying back to Japan soon. He could end the conversation as he naturally would have done with any of his other colleagues, after all if someone knew where you were, where you were travelling too it would be much easier to find out who you were.

He wasn’t sure what compelled him to tell her the truth.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:36am**

**I’ve been almost everywhere; France, Germany, Portugal, Spain, Brazil, Thailand, Russia, Israel, Japan, Morocco, Africa, Greenland, America, Canada, Britain, Ireland… in fact I think it would be easier to give you a list of countries I haven’t been haha.**

He almost hit his head, had he really just typed ‘haha’ at the end of that message? He felt really stupid, big massive company CEO persona was slowly crumbling in favour of the person he was with Rukia and Yukio and it was dangerous. He’d never met this woman, only heard her voice over the other end of a phone.

He could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he watched the notification telling him that she was responding. This was so stupid, how could someone’s voice alone cause such a reaction from him? Toshiro brought a hand up to his hair tugging at the roots and wrinkled his nose at the mess he was in. Looking across at the darkened windows that reflected his image in the dimly lit room he could see his hair a little matted from the day of being in a giant sweaty cosplaying hall, his shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open and he’d managed to throw on a pair of black plaid trousers to sleep in. Though he looked like a physical mess it was more the emotional aspect that was giving him palpitations. He shouldn’t be revealing so much about himself to someone, even if they did have an incredibly attractive voice.

**Matsumoto 4:38am**

**That’s so impressive! I’ve only ever been out of Japan a handful of times. Gin never thought I was important enough to send travelling but funnily enough he’d send a lot of the male members of the marketing time.**

Toshiro could practically hear the distain in her voice as she typed it and he flinched a little. He’d never treat a woman differently just because of their gender, except he was perhaps a little more likely to be patient with a woman than with a man because of how he was raised. He found it very difficult to get pissed off by a woman, normally it was always men who rubbed him up the wrong way… perhaps that was sexist? He wasn’t even sure.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:41am**

**That won’t be an issue with me. I’ll have you attend any event I see fit regardless of the country assuming you’re okay to travel there.**

 

He left out the implications of the statement, he knew there were some countries where women were treated poorly as he’d had the conversation with Rukia when she refused to travel with them to certain parts of India. He understood completely and instead they’d arranged to do more calls to keep her updated. He’d never force someone to do anything they were uncomfortable with, especially a woman.

Maybe he was sexist?

**Matsumoto 4:42am**

**I appreciate that Sir :D**

**Weren’t you going to go to bed? I’m sorry if I’ve kept you up…**

 

Toshiro glanced at the time and realised it was quickly approaching 5am, at this rate he’d be awake the rest of the morning talking away to Matsumoto. When he thought about it, he realised he’d actually enjoyed the little chat they’d had backwards and forwards so far. He could feel the slight bruising feeling around his mouth from where he’d been smiling which was something quite foreign to him. Normally it only came about when Yukio and Rukia were around but even that was growing rare these days.

Toshiro glanced across towards the window that reflected his image again and ground his teeth, an old habit. Was this silly, what he was doing? He didn’t exactly have anyone he could speak to about it, Yukio would wind him up something rotten, Rukia had her own personal issues to cope with and everyone else worked for him. He frowned at the mirror image of himself… he hadn’t really realised how few people he’d let into his personal circle… well okay of course he did but he hadn’t realised the affect it would have. There were so few people in his life he could open up to, did he want to grant himself this? Was it a good idea? It could all backfire and for what? For a pretty voice on the other end of a phone.

Toshiro shuddered, she could rip him apart piece by piece. If she really was being manipulated by Gin did he want to take that chance? He cast his mind back to the first interview and recalled the distain in her voice the way she’d spoken about Gin and he shook himself. He was very good at reading people even just their voices, he had to trust himself enough to accept that she didn’t mean any harm to him or his business.

So what was a little indulgence? Yukio granted it himself just like he had done the night before… why couldn’t Toshiro indulge a little?

His fingers hovered over his keyboard, frozen in mid-air as he contemplated.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 4:50am**

**You didn’t keep me up don’t worry. I will look at the timeline and risks in the morning and get back to you, good night Matsumoto.**

He re-read the message several times before finally clicking ‘send.’ He figured it sounded okay, it gave a promise of speaking soon so he still had an excuse to get back in touch with her at a later time. In the meantime he’d sleep and get onto IT to find out why her picture hadn’t been added to Skype or email yet.

He kicked back his chair and rose up pulling his shirt all the way off he made his way back to bed. It had been a long and exhausting day and certainly with everything else it had been a bit of an emotional one too. He crawled under the covers and tried to analyse the conversation with Rukia in his head as a distraction, he’d need to broach the topic of Yukio with her at some point after all. Maybe Matsumoto could actually offer him some advice on it? He fell asleep with a soft smile on his face at the thought.

 

 


	2. Growing Closer

It had been a little over three months since the initial interview where he’d agreed to employ Matsumoto and boy did that girl get stuff done. Despite Ichigo’s mental breakdown due to his diet for his wedding, which was Toshiro’s daily entertainment at the moment prescribed by Matsumoto, she had done more work in that time than Momo had in her entire time at Zeltrix. She was hard working and her second in command was left to his own devices, most of which apparently involved crying on the company carpet. Renji wasn’t on a diet at all, apparently he was bulking up instead but Ichigo preferred the lean look instead of the big bulk that Renji seemed to be building. He knew he’d likely have to meet Matsumoto face to face one day, given that she was going to be attending the wedding as well.

That was another thing; her Skype image had finally updated… _wow_. Toshiro had almost been caught staring at it by Yukio who had barged into his room and based on his quickly Toshiro had shut his laptop had just assumed he was watching porn. It had been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. Yukio had demanded to see what was on his screen and after a bit of forceful manoeuvring he’d managed to open the laptop screen to a Skype menu. Needless to say the blond had been confused but Toshiro still had not been able to talk him out of the fact that he hadn’t been watching porn.

Matsumoto was incredibly attractive, she had long strawberry blond hair that fell down over her shoulders but the image was cut so he couldn’t really see much else but he could see her big baby blue eyes that contrasted beautifully with her hair.

He almost felt happy that Ichigo had a fellow red head in the office now, he knew how much the Strawberry had hated being the only one around, he’d often get bullied about it as they studied together which was why they’d gotten on so well, the red head and the white haired freak. Toshiro smiled fondly as he sat at the desk of his hotel room. He loved the fact he’d built the business on the back of people he trusted in his life and today they’d be having their biannually meeting which Toshiro had been prepping for the last couple of days.

He turned his attention to his screen and saw that a few people were already logged on in the office, some like Ukitake liked to get in early and get set up for the day. Toshiro smiled and glanced at the time, he was now in Sydney much closer to home so the time difference was only one hour. He then brought up a chat to Matsumoto and waited, she’d told him how awful her time keeping was and so as a result he’d started to message her as her own personal alarm. He didn’t mind at all, it gave him an excuse to talk to her.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 07:57am**

**As requested, this is your pre-alarm reminder to get up.**

He let the message go and turned towards his documents for the day, everything was set and ready so all he had to do now was get himself personally sorted. Toshiro made his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth, immediately after pausing back at his laptop to send Matsumoto another message since she hadn’t replied to his first.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 08:01am**

**Post-alarm reminder: Get up, Matsumoto.**

Her response came in quickly after. He had a tie half wrapped around his neck and he quickly read her message a smile gracing his face as he dropped the two tie ends to reply.

**Matsumoto 08:01am**

**Thank you, Captain :) I am awake!**

**Mr Hyorinmaru 08:02am**

**Again, you don’t have to call me ‘Captain’, however you do have to be at the departmental meeting this morning so you may want to consider actually getting out of bed.**

**Matsumoto 08:03am**

**Aye aye, Captain ;)**

He should have expected a snarky response of course, he chuckled out into the room as soon as it came through. The Captain thing really was stupid, Yukio himself had admitted it once too when he was drunk but it had stuck now and everyone else in the business seemed to love it, it evoked the sense of fun that he really was trying to achieve with this company in the first place. He expected no further messages from Matsumoto as she got ready, he knew her process of getting ready in the morning usually took about an hour, it seemed to be a woman thing as Rukia was the same.

Pacing across the room towards his black jacket he finished up his tie and grabbed his wallet. It was time to go and get a coffee, it was his favourite start to the day after all. In the elevator he text both Rukia and Yukio asking if they wanted anything, Rukia text back right away to say a green tea and Yukio ignored his message because he was likely still asleep. The blond had been up doing another late night stream for charity last night, so Toshiro made the decision to pick him something up anyway.

He made his way towards the Starbucks on the other side of the street and ignored the stares he was so used too. Around the world Asians were known to be a bit smaller but in Australia they were fucking midgets. Of course none of that was factual… he’d googled it to check, it was all in his head. He stood in the queue of morning people grumbling about work in their thick Australian accents before stepping up to order.

‘That’s a beautiful accent,’ the girl behind the counter smiled at him, she was about his height which made him feel better. She swept her long brown hair out of her face and blinked at him, ‘Where are you from?’

‘Tokyo,’ he said with a smile, he wasn’t worried about it, Tokyo’s population was nearly three times that of Sydney so it was unlikely anyone would make the connection to him being the owner, to throw off the scent though he’d give a different name this time.

She gave him another smile as he handed over his cash and he checked his phone hastily, he had still not received another message from Matsumoto. He smiled a little and reminded himself to drop her another message once he got back to ensure she was definitely awake and up. He’d hate for her to miss this meeting.

‘What’s the name?’

‘Matsumoto,’ he said quickly and scowled at himself as she wrote it down on the cup, he moved to stand off at the side and waited for his coffee. The girl behind the counter kept glancing his way and he wanted to remind her it was rude to stare but instead he just took out his phone and proceeded to send a couple of texts to Yukio telling him it was time to get it. It meant he didn’t need to make eye contact with anyone else in the coffee house because he was focused fully on his phone. He soon opened up his work emails and started to fire through a few when his ‘name’ was called. He started for a moment having forgotten the name he’d given them and felt hit cheeks heat up as he reached out for the cups.

Carrying the cup holder out into the hot Sydney air he made his way quickly back to the hotel. He didn’t enjoy this heat, though the city itself was stunning and his friends enjoyed going off to the beach, Toshiro actually preferred the cold frigid air of Russia over this heat.

He made his way back into the hotel, depositing the two cups in Rukia’s room since Yukio still wasn’t awake and made it back to his room in time to send another quick reminder.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 08:55am**

**Please tell me you haven’t fallen back asleep.**

**Matsumoto 08:56am**

**Walking out the door now. Plenty of time to grab a coffee and get to the meeting on time.  
See you there, Captain :)**

Her response was almost immediate and he smiled as he sipped his own coffee, he didn’t notice the language at first until he read over it a second time.

 _“See you there,”_ he frowned, she wouldn’t actually be seeing him though? She knew that right? He snorted to himself, of course she did. He didn’t show himself, he wasn’t about to just walk into the office as the CEO. He pulled up his documents and glanced over them. The meeting wouldn’t be too intensive at least but he had a little concern over the financial side of things.

The company had been pushing to reduce single use items because of their effect on the environment especially plastic. They’d also been spending a little more on recycled paper in order to meet their ‘plastic free’ deadline before 2020. It was a huge push but he believed in his team and he was willing to sacrifice his own earnings to make it happen.

It wasn’t like he had anything he needed to pay for, just his equipment, he practically lived in hotels, he didn’t have much need for stupidly expensive suits because no one knew he was CEO. Yes he was loyal to Armani but that was a personal choice and he wasn’t precious about wearing the same suit more than once. His only real luxury was his penthouse apartment in City Tower Takanawa, which was a stunning penthouse with 5 bedrooms. Perhaps a little overkill for a guy living alone but one of the biggest bedrooms he’d turned into his own library complete with bean bags and another was where he showcased his rather extensive collection of signed merchandise from some of his favourite celebrities that he’d gotten his hands on. Including a real used Captain America shield from the set of Avengers Assemble signed by Chris Evans himself. The other two rooms were made up as guest rooms, one adopted by Yukio as his own personal permanent residence and then there was his own room…. So it wasn’t too bad.

Effectively though, he had money to spare and enough money in the bank to retire early and live anywhere he wished.

He watched the minutes tick down as he did a final count of his paperwork, he had a sheet ready to hand so he could capture the information his departments were about to feed him. He had a rough idea of where everyone was, as their boss he’d had individual meetings but this was their larger group meeting so it would be good to see if their numbers matched his and what had changed. Just a few minutes before signing onto the call though he got a small moment of butterflies, he wasn’t overly fond of being in the spotlight and speaking to people. One to one was a lot more appealing than addressing large groups of people. He had no idea how Yukio did it.

As the minutes ticked by he finally dialled through and the call to Ukitake connected immediately.

‘Good morning everyone,’ he said trying to sound a lot more calm than he felt.

‘Good morning Mr Hyorinmaru,’ Ukitake’s voice filled his small hotel room and helped to relax him, ‘we’re all here and ready to begin.’

‘Good,’ Toshiro replied, feeling a lot more calm and in control now. He didn’t get this nervous usually, did he? ‘Thank you all for being prompt this morning.’ If he just kept talking it would be fine, ‘I’ve called this meeting to discuss some changes to budget allocations and operational updates around regional support to meet our demands for 2020.’

He took a deep breath before continuing. ‘As you all know Zeltrix has been moving towards trying to reduce our carbon footprint from our operations,’ he continued, ‘we’ve already reduced our energy and plastic use by thirty percent in a year thanks to purchasing decisions made by Unohana and her team. Unohana, would you please update everyone?’

Unohana started to give her department updates all of which Toshiro had heard before. He took this moment to double check he had all the correct information down and added a few sections into next steps that seemed to have been new since their last one to one. He made a small note at the side and smiled as he recognised a proposal they’d been working on together and brainstormed at their last meeting.

Of course all of his meetings were done via Skype, he only met with Isshin and Ukitake in person for their one to ones but that was only if he were in the country. Sometimes he’d have meetings with Ichigo as well but now that Matsumoto had been employed, that would be her job to do.

Unohana finished up by giving her final figures, including looking to reduce the companies carbon footprint by a further thirty percent over the next six months, at the end of which everyone clapped politely as Toshiro quickly noted down the goal. That was actually two percent ahead of the target he had written so he was incredibly pleased.

When the clapping died down Toshiro thanked her for her hard work and moved onto the next topic on his agenda; the marketing approach.

‘Captain Matsumoto, please share with everyone your new strategy.’

He stressed the title at the beginning mostly for his own amusement and also because Yukio had just stuck his head in to see how he was getting on. A large grin from his friend cause Toshiro to roll his eyes as Yukio took one look at the numbers and slunk back out the room again. He really was such a lazy boy, unless it involved, food, sex or video games he literally couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

Toshiro turned his attention back to the call as he listened intently, Matsumoto began sounding a little uncomfortable, which was to be expected this was her first big meeting with the other heads of department. Though he knew she’d have been accepted in like family because that was just the kind of company they were, he could still understand her unease. He’d felt it himself just before he hit dial and he knew all these people.

Matsumoto began to take them through her new marketing campaign that Toshiro was also very much aware of. The numbers she dropped around the percentage increase in followers engaged across the platforms caused a low murmur in the room and Toshiro smiled with pride even though no one could see him. Yukio had commented on it as well, praising the twitter page and often shared some of the more light hearted tweets, with his own massive following online it had really helped to boost the number of people engaged with their own personal twitter account. Thanks to Mastumoto’s strategy some of their posts had even gone viral on Facebook, a platform that before had been relatively dead.

‘That’s great work Matsumoto,’ he praised at the end, ‘has this reflected in sales yet Shihoin?’ he asked moving onto the next section of the meeting.

They spoke out the plans a bit more but one thing was glaringly obvious, meeting the targets for 2020 would mean an issue around numbers so the question soon turned to where they could save money and that’s when Matsumoto surprised him.

‘How much do you think you could spare?’ he asked, quite interested in what she had to say.

‘Forty percent easily, maybe up to sixty percent if we decide not to create the video advertisement for YouTube which I don’t think we’ll actually need since Yukio’s channel is so closely linked to our company’s products – it advertises itself through him, really.’

His jaw almost hit the floor, quite easy to as well considering how short he was. He quickly managed to regain himself, he hadn’t been expecting marketing to sacrifice such a significant portion of their budget to the cause of a more environmentally friendly business. Normally he’d discuss the risks involved, but this was Matsumoto who had nearly crippled their marketing campaign last year with just a choice of colour alone… she was incredible at what she did and so if she believed they could get by without then it was very clear they could get by without.

‘That’s…. very generous of you Matsumoto,’ he muttered quietly, still in total awe, ‘thank you.’

‘It’s no problem, it’s an important cause and I’m so proud to work for a company that actually cares for the planet,’ she replied. There was a beat of silence, while Toshiro actually contemplated the impact of her words. He knew that Gin and Game Station did not care for the environment one bit, hopefully their ignorance was reflected in this sales, however it said a lot about Matsumoto’s drive considering she was willing to give up so much of her departments budget for the cause.

‘I agree,’ he said finally, ‘it is an import cause which is why I’ll be contributing part of my salary to it as well.’

He heard the gasp and he knew it would happen before he even said the words. He’d of course given it a lot of thought and it just made sense, he didn’t need all that money. Isshin was next to step in and offer the same thing and it was not long after that the meeting came to an end. Toshiro clicked off the call and ran his hand through his hair.

His schedule was quite tight up until late afternoon at which point he was finally free to actually have a coherent thought outside of just work.

By the time 4:30pm rolled around Toshiro was starving and as he hung up from one of his calls he grumbled to himself about not getting breakfast, it would have made his day a little less miserable. Though his call in the morning with his team had been pleasant, the rest of the day unfortunately hadn’t been.

One of the convention representatives for Play by Play in New Zealand was giving him grief on the phone about Yukio cancelling because of another engagement. Of course they were upset but due to a tightly timed flying schedule they offered at least the Saturday which really was asking a lot of Yukio considering their next destination was going to be America.

As he stood up, he noticed he still hadn’t closed the chat with Matsumoto and his eyes trained in on the word ‘see,’ he frowned as he turned to gaze out over the harbour. He really did have a beautiful view from his room window… perhaps she’d appreciate a picture of that at least? He opened his phone and snapped a quick image and sent it to her with a quick message.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:37pm**

**Attachment: Image**

**Was that Kurosaki I heard crying during the meeting?**

It wasn’t until he was throwing his jacket on that the reply came through.

**Matsumoto 16:40pm**

**Yeah, day 4 of the latest juice fast**

That was unusual, there wasn’t a single smiley face at all in her message. Toshiro frowned down at the Skype screen. It wasn’t like her, normally she overly punctuated any chat with emoticons, including sunshines and rainbows where she deemed it necessary. Toshiro quickly replied and decided to see what her next message was like before he addressed the issue. It was hard to tell over text if someone was upset or angry about something.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:41pm**

**I thought day 4 was anger?**

The next two minutes seemed to last a lifetime, then finally:

**Matsumoto 16.43pm**

**Day 5 symptoms hit early I guess**

Toshiro watched the screen and sighed deeply. He glanced at the door and back again. He was hungry, but he couldn’t just walk out if Matsumoto was annoyed or angry or upset about something. He wondered for a beat if he’d said something during the meeting that had maybe upset her? After a few minutes of thinking about how to constructively approach the subject, he decided to ask outright.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:46pm**

**Is everything okay, Matsumoto? You seem off.**

He watched the little notification that appeared to show she was typing a message and nervously glanced out the window. Was it the picture he’d sent her? Did she think he was rubbing her face in the fact that he was abroad and she wasn’t? He frowned, that didn’t seem to tie into anything he’d learned about her so far… no it had to have been something else. His mind kept flicking back to the conversation during the meeting but he couldn’t target anything specific when her reply finally came through.

**Matsumoto 16.50pm**

**Why don’t you want people to know what you look like?**

He stared at the words on the screen for a while and it felt like someone was pouring ice down his back. Normally a feeling he’d find relaxing in this hot Australian air… but at the moment he just felt like bile was rising in his throat. Why was she asking that? Yes they’d… spoken a lot, grown a little closer even. Did she want to see what he looked like? He frowned, why would that matter? Would that have to be a conversation that they’d have? He’d never even thought about it… not really. Suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed he felt his heart rate pick back up and swallowed around a lump in his throat. He was about to close over his laptop and head outside for a distraction when more messages came through.

**Matsumoto 16.51pm**

**I’m sorry, that was rude.**

**You don’t have to tell me.**

**I was just a bit disappointed this morning. I thought you were coming to lead the meeting in person. I just think it might be nice to meet you in person.**

**You are my boss after all.**

He read them one at a time as they punctuated his screen. She was disappointed after the meeting, she thought she’d get to see him in real life. She did seem to regret asking but Toshiro could also tell that she wasn’t really, she was voicing a genuine concern that she had. He’d perhaps given her too much hope, maybe all the useless banter in their chats over the last few months had led her to think that one day they’d actually meet. He repeated the chats back in his head, at no point did he ever say that to her but… naturally one would assume if you were starting to communicate more like a friend than just a boss and employee then you’d get to meet one day for sure. He’d probably have assumed something similar if he were in her place too. It was somewhat logical… and so he’d actually upset her. Something he’d never wanted to do. The question was now how did he fix it? Open himself up more… and actually let her inside, trust her enough? Or did he start extending the distance between them? Put the barriers back up that he hadn’t realised she’d been slowly chipping away with her bubbly personality and promise of another friendship?

Without choosing to answer right away he closed over his laptop and slipped out of the hotel room. On autopilot he made his way down to the lobby, letting his legs lead him in the direction of the staircase.

Why did he care so much?

Matsumto was just one colleague, he had loads of others and yes they’d likely meet or be in proximity of each other at some point given that Ichigo and Renji had invited everyone to their wedding… but he’d hoped he could just dye his hair, show up as a guy who worked as a gaming programmer for the company. They’d meet and she’d not have a clue who he was.  

There was the option of staying away from her, not approaching her at the wedding at all, or maybe coming up with a sound enough excuse to not attend the wedding in the first place… but he couldn’t do that. Not to Ichigo, not to the Strawberry who had practically adopted him while they studied and grew up. The thought of missing the wedding felt even worse than lying to Matsumoto’s face about who he was.

This was crazy, he was going round and around in circles imaging different outcomes to the same exact scenario and they all ended poorly for him. Even if they did meet in real life, he could be his most charming self but that wouldn’t stop the fact that he was incredibly short and had stupidly white hair that people still stared at him for. The only way he’d get away with this look is if he became an official member of BTS.

He didn’t even think about where his legs were taking him until he heard the distant TV and knew he wasn’t in the lobby. He glanced around to find himself in the hotel bar.

It may have been a bit early in the evening for a drink but he felt like he could take it slow. It was likely not a good idea considering he hadn’t had any real food that day either.

He made his way into the bar and gracefully up onto the bar stool, turning his attention to the TV. The barman was an older guy with a moustache that would have made Uncle Vernon jealous. He had greying hair and olive skin and seemed to be focused pretty much entirely on the game. His name badge highlighted his name was ‘Gregory’.

‘Whatcha havin?’ he asked without looking over at Toshiro.

‘Anything, something light and preferably made with whisky though,’ Toshiro replied back as he studied the TV. The man grunted and started going about making a drink. He lifted a glass up from under the bar and placed it on the surface in front of Toshiro looking at him for the first time and doing a double take as most often did.

‘Have you got ID?’ he asked and Toshiro held out his passport, having already anticipated the question. As the gaming world knew his name to be “Mr Hyorinmaru” no one ever made a connection to the name on his ID; Toshiro Hitsugaya. It was partly why he had chosen an alias right as they set the company up. ‘Right, thanks,’ he moved around the bar and Toshiro paid little mind to what was actually going in his glass, his attention focused on the game on the TV.

Eventually the drink was placed in front of him drawing Toshiro’s gaze away from the screen. He brought it to his lips and sipped. It was definitely light, there was some kind of coke mix in there but it actually blended well with whatever whisky he’d chosen to use.

‘Girl troubles?’ he asked, clearly wanting to make small talk. Toshiro didn’t reply instead focused on mixing his drink a little more with a straw. ‘Boy troubles?’

‘Girl,’ Toshiro said quickly and frowned up at the man. He was grinning down at him, pleased to have at least been given an answer. The game must not have been as interesting as the freaky white haired child adult currently sitting at his bar.

‘She go off with someone else?’ he asked, tilting his chin up, clearly expecting an answer.

‘No,’ Toshiro resisted scowling, it was a conversation he wasn’t having with his best friends, why on earth would he tell a stranger in a bar his woes? Besides it wasn’t like… he liked Matsumoto or even really expected to be with her in anyway. That’d just be wrong, she was an employee of his and as her boss that… would surely be an abuse of power? And yet, and yet he couldn’t stop imagining it.

‘Look, you can talk to me,’ he said after a moment, ‘or you don’t have to. The choice is up to you. I’m just a guy who moved here from Illinois, running this bar to keep my little girl happy and healthy so she can go off and study in the country she loves.’ He tilted his head to the side and that’s when Toshiro saw it; concern. This older man in this bar, this stranger… was concerned for him. ‘What better person to trust with knowledge than someone who doesn’t know you and will likely never see you again unless you come back to same hotel?’

He had a point… they almost never booked the same hotel. Except in a couple cities where the hotels provided them with something no others could, usually in the poorer countries.

‘Fair point,’ Toshiro said stirring his drink with a straw and taking it back out to drink it because he was an adult and didn’t need a straw to drink alcohol.

The barman busied himself around the bar but stayed close, clearly letting Toshiro know that he was available to speak.

‘She’s attractive,’ he finally started and he realised that once he’d started it seemed a little easier to let himself flow, ‘but there’s a lot of issues, for a fact she’s taller than me and way out of my league. She’s also my employee which adds an extra layer of awkwardness. I also don’t really know her out of a few general conversations.’

‘Alright now,’ he said turning to give Toshiro his full attention, ‘there’s a few things to address there. What do you mean she’s taller than you?’

‘Like,’ Toshiro gazed up at him, ‘height?’ he didn’t want to be condescending but he didn’t know how else to explain it. ‘Got to be more than foot taller than me if pictures are anything to go by.’ Yes he’d maybe seen a picture on Ichigo’s facebook, a selfie and she was almost around the same height as him, it was hard to tell for sure.

‘Okay well, what I really meant was why is that an issue, also… a picture? You mean you two never spoken in real life?’

‘Well we’ve spoken in real life, just over Skype and messages.’ Toshiro replied.

‘Son I’m fifty five years old, that’s not real life to me,’ he grinned and Toshiro chuckled, the guy looked incredible for his age. Maybe he was blessed with young looking genes just like Toshiro was.

‘The height is a big issue for me,’ he muttered letting the pun slip, ‘that and the fact she works for me. It’s unprofessional.’

‘Well, the professionalism of her working for you I don’t doubt that’s gotta be your biggest issue. The height shouldn’t matter. What law is there that says that the man has to be the taller one?’ he leaned back and drummed his fingers against the polished wood.

‘It’s just more natural looking isn’t it? We’d look like a circus act walking down the street.’ Toshiro knew he was sulking a little, there were a few factors causing it. The fact he was talking about this to a stranger, the fact that he found Matsumoto attractive in the first place and the fact that he really shouldn’t.

‘Well that’s just you thinking that, what I’ve found in all my years on this planet is that we always think worse about ourselves than anyone else thinks about us. Truth is? Nobody cares,’ he laughed, ‘not saying that to be mean, just the truth. Everyone else is always so busy doing their own thing, so wrapped up in their own worlds and dramas that they rarely take a moment to even consider other people. By that point it’s too late and you’ve walked by them on the street.’ He gave Toshiro a kind smile which was returned. ‘Truth is, you’re young, she is too I’m assuming?’

‘She’s a couple of years older than me,’ Toshiro refused to admit he’d stalked her file personally for that information and scrutinised her date of birth.

‘Then you’ve got loads of time to work stuff out and who knows maybe ye’ll grow while you’re at it.’

He moved away to serve another customer leaving Toshiro to maul over his words. Despite what he’d said it still didn’t make Toshiro feel any better about being smaller but he was right in the sense that it was likely only Toshiro who cared about that. There was still the issue around being her employer though, it was wrong on so many levels.

He voiced his concerns to the bartender when he came back over.

‘Well, it sounds like you’ve got a lot going on and you seemed determined for this not to work,’ he chuckled, ‘why not try the friendship and see what naturally starts happening from there, instead of trying to overanalyse everything?’

After agreeing to that Toshiro paid for his drink and tipped the bar tender quite heavily despite his protesting.

After grabbing a quick bite to eat he made his way back to the hotel room where he tried to crack on with a bit of work. He never shut down the Skype chat with Matsumoto though and it sat glaring at him, the ugly light pestering the room walls as the sun began to set. Eventually Toshiro made a decision; to be honest. Not about his growing feelings because that was weird, but about how he felt about himself. Scrubbing a hand down his face he turned back to the chat and re-read her messages before slowly typing out a reply.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 21:15pm**

**I don’t look how a CEO should look.**

He half expected her to be busy, it was outside of work hours, the Skype was for business and even though he knew she had it installed on her personal phone he was sure she’d have ignored the message. He was just about to shut down his own laptop when a reply pinged through immediately.

**Matsumoto 20:15pm**

**How is a CEO supposed to look?**

How was he meant to reply to that without sounding pathetic? He groaned and hid his face in his hands, any façade of the confident business man totally diminishing. That was it though, it was all just an act. Truth was, Toshiro was unbelievable shy, anxious and insecure in how he looked, the only confidence he had in himself came from his own abilities in work.

He pulled his hands away from his face and quickly typed out a reply, it was better to rip the band aid off fast after all.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:16pm**

**Confident, strong, successful, tall… just to name a few qualities.**

Her next reply took a minute for her to type and when it came through Toshiro hastily read the lines, feeling his heart pounding loudly in his chest.

**Matsumoto 20:17pm**

**Tall? Captain, I don’t think that’s a real requirement. In fact I just read that Mark Zuckerberg is actually quite short too! He had to use a booster seat at that Congress hearing a few months ago to make himself look taller.**

Her response did make him feel a little better, in fact Toshiro felt a small smile tug at his lips. She obviously cared enough about him that she didn’t find any of this funny, she didn’t seem like she was judging him at all.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:19pm**

**If I remember correctly, people made fun of him for that.**

He waited for her reply which was almost immediate, like she’d been expecting him to reply something along those lines.

**Matsumoto 20:19pm**

**Only because he used a booster seat. Nobody noticed he was that short before then and even if they did notice, they certainly didn’t care. He’s successful and worth millions, why does his height mean anything?**

It wasn’t just the height thing though, Zuckerberg had a lot more going for him and Toshiro was just far too different looking.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:20pm**

**Because he’s 1.7m and that’s hardly short on the scale of things. Furthermore, he is normal looking in almost every other aspect. He’s even married.**

This time Matsumoto’s reply took a lot longer to come through. She may have been in the middle of something for all he knew but he couldn’t help the little twist in his gut that maybe she’d had enough of the conversation. He practically held his breath until he saw the notification that she was typing.

**Matsumoto 20:24pm**

**I know how you feel, sometimes I get insecure about the way I look too. Sometimes I wish I looked completely different.**

Oh wow, of all the responses… he had not been expecting _that._ He had to read it several times, his mouth falling open slightly. Did this woman not realise how incredibly attractive she was? Not that Toshiro had been stalking or anything… but that image he’d seen on Ichigo’s Facebook page had naturally lead him to her profile where he’d had a quick browse through some of her photos… some of her wearing glasses some without… she looked attractive either way.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:25pm**

**How is that possible?**

 How did he elaborate without making it obvious he’d Facebook stalked her? He had to come up with something fast… Isshin had sent him a picture… that was perfect.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:26pm**

**Isshin sent me a photo of you guys at that bar across from the office. You’re exactly the type of girl Yukio would be trying to hit on the second he saw you in a bar.**

**Matsumoto 20:27pm**

**And that’s exactly my point. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be sitting with my girlfriends and just have sleazy guy after sleazy guy come hit on me and try and pull me away from my friends? Or to not be able to walk down the street without being cat called? Or to be hired just because I’m ‘hot’ and not because I actually have a degree and experience. I have to stand in the female-only train carriage even at 8am in the morning just to avoid getting my ass squeezed by a creepy business man.**

Oh… it wasn’t because she thought she was unattractive, it was because… because creepy guys were being sleazy with her. It made so much more sense now, inwardly Toshiro cursed that he hadn’t actually thought about that. He often forgot that not every other male on the planet was brought up on the same morals he was. He hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to make sure no one in the office was being creepy with her and remembering that he was the one with the crush.

He swallowed and decided to steer the conversation in a slightly different way, pieces now falling together based on what she’d mentioned to him before.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:29pm**

**I’m sorry you’ve been treated that way, Matsumoto, that’s not right.**

**If you don’t mind me asking, was that why Ichimaru hired you?**

**Matsumoto 20:30pm**

**Yes.**

He inwardly cringed at the reply and sighed. Of course he’d not hired her for that reason, he’d not actually seen her… even if he did like the sound of her voice. He hated the idea that… Gin had hired her just because he wanted to get into bed with her. The thought made him feel sick but… more than that there was an overwhelming feeling of protection bubbling inside him and anger he’d never really felt before.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:31pm**

**Bastard.**

**Matsumoto 20:32pm**

**I understand you’re insecurities, Captain. I know what it’s like to stare in a mirror and hate everything you see.**

He could sit here and tell her how amazing she was, how beautiful she was and how every single time they spoke she made him feel happier and lighter than he had in years, but maybe it was a bit much and too fast. She knew she was attractive and beautiful and that was the problem, saying these words wouldn’t make her feel better and he wasn’t sure he was ready for her to understand what his own feelings were.

**Hyorinmaru 20:34pm**

**I’m not ready for the world to know what I look like just yet.**

**Matsumoto 20:35pm**

**That’s fair, but when you are ready, I’ll be here. I prefer to judge people on what’s in their heart, not what they look like.**

He wasn’t really sure what he was expecting when he wrote his message but her reply made him smile and made his heart melt a little. Would it be too much to hope and wish that when they did meet that she would see more than his height and freakishly white hair and teal eyes? Not that the eyes were too strange… plenty of people had blue-green eyes, it wasn’t massively uncommon, his were just a bit darker than most.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:35pm**

**Thank you Matsumoto, I appreciate your support.**

**Now, can I finally hear about the latest instalment of ‘Ichigo’s Wedding Diet Saga’?**

What they needed was a drastic change in topic, and what better way to change the topic than to turn it to Ichigo’s diet, a topic of conversation that always seemed to lighten the mood.

**Matsumoto 20:37pm**

**Omg, Sir, you should have seen him today! The poor kid must be absolutely starving, he tried to eat his notebook before the meeting!**

**Mr Hyorinmaru 20:38pm**

**… what.**

**Matsumoto 20:38pm**

**He was like a wild animal, Captain, I’m serious.**

Toshiro was laughing, laughing because he could actually picture it. He loved the Strawberry in a totally platonic way but that boy had a strange relationship with food. He claimed to love it but adored the tall slender look far too much.

The chat flowed easily between them, Rangiku chatting about what Ichigo had been like that day and of course in return Toshiro decided to tell her what had been happening with Rukia and Yukio at one of the latest events.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 23:43pm**

**Rukia seems to be going from the easily pissed off phase to the more emotional phase and I’m not really sure how to handle it. Women and emotions are a foreign concept to me.**

**Matsumoto 23:45pm**

**Awww now Captain, it’s very clear that emotions aren’t :D  
As for women, women are foreign concepts to other women but just let her know you’re there for her if she needs you. **

Toshiro smiled at the reply, she could always say just the right thing to make him feel better. He hadn’t even been aware that he’d been speaking to her so late until she made a comment about going off to bed. He wished her a lovely evening and watched as her profile status changed from online to offline, the small grey circle staring at him until he shut down his own laptop. He stood up and stretched his hands above his head. He’d been cramped in that seat for too long and he was just thankful it was at least a comfortable seat.

He had a call with Rockstar North who made the Grand Theft Auto games but that call wasn’t until 2:30am for him, 5:30pm their time. He decided between now and then to try and get a couple of hours sleep.

The sleep was broken, probably due to the fact he knew he’d be getting up for a call, it didn’t give his brain a proper chance to shut down. At ten to two in the morning he just pulled himself out of bed and sat reading in his lounge wear which consisted of an old tshirt that was far too big for him and a pair of grey sweatpants.

The call lasted a good forty-five minutes where Toshiro tried to be his charming self, trying to convince them to drop their new game on the Z-Box despite their relationship with Game Station. When he dropped his headset on the desk and rubbed his eyes to stare at the screen he decided to go to the bathroom and wash up again before bed, in an attempt at removing work from his brain so he could maybe actually fall asleep.

When he was done he walked over to shut off his laptop when he spotted a green online icon beside Matsumoto in his ‘recents’ section of his Skype. He blinked, taken aback and quickly typed out a message.

**Mr Hyorinmaru 02:25am**

**What are you doing up, Matsumoto? It’s late.**

He waited for a reply but instead of a typed response his screen lit up with the incoming notification for a call. He scrambled to put his headset back on and quickly hit the answer button. It wasn’t their first call they’d called each other before but this time… felt more personal. This time it definitely wasn’t about work.

‘Hello?’ he asked, knowing he must have sounded as exhausted as he felt. He hung on for a moment not hearing an answer right away and quickly checked his headset to make sure he wasn’t on mute.

‘Hi,’ she eventually replied and he relaxed a little. Her tone was off though, she was clearly trying to sound like her usual self but something was off.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

‘Nothing,’ she said far too quickly, he voice sounded like it might have been fighting back tears. ‘What are you doing up so late?’

He told her about his call over the new Grand Theft Auto game, but wasn’t pleased she’d tried to change the subject, whatever was going on she needed to speak about it. ‘But I believe it was I who asked that question first, Matsumoto.’

‘Oh I’m just…’ she replied and Toshiro could tell what was about to happen just from the way her voice was fluctuating. ‘Just… just…’

She burst into tears and Toshiro felt his heart sink.

‘Rangiku what’s happened?’ he asked quickly. It was one thing to predict the tears on the call, another thing entirely to actually hear her cry. He felt completely useless, all he could do was speak to her there wasn’t a single thing he could do from all the way over in Sydney to try and make her feel better, to comfort her in some way. She continued to cry down the phone and Toshiro felt a horrible weight seize his chest, this was the worst sound he’d ever heard in his life.

Finally she seemed to regain a bit of composure enough to speak.

‘I’m sorry,’ she sniffed and he heard her shuffle and move on the other side of the call, ‘I just had a bad dream. I shouldn’t have called, I’ll let you go. Good night, Sir.’

‘Don’t hang up,’ he ordered quickly, the last thing he wanted was for her to hang up and feel alone right now, ‘please stay and talk to me.’

He asked her about the dream and felt his heart clench when she mentioned his name.

‘Gin, it’s always about Gin.’

‘Do you dream about him often?’ he asked trying not to press too hard but he was obviously incredibly curious. What could cause a woman to dream about their ex?

‘Every single night,’ she replied.

He was silent for a while, for her to have a nightmare, to call him crying and to say she dreamt about Gin every single night, something awful must have happened. It sounded genuinely like PTSD and Toshiro knew what that was like, he’d been working on a VR rehabilitation piece with Pamsung and Pony to try and help rehabilitate veterans. They often spoke of their nightmares and flashbacks and the high emotions that often came with it.

‘What did he do to you Ran?’ Toshiro asked softly, ‘he hurt you didn’t he?’

Of course Toshiro wasn’t talking about the emotional aspect, that much was already very clear.

‘Yep,’ she replied, her voice cracking, ‘yes he did.’

Toshiro swallowed, wanting to ask more but not wanting to push her. He didn’t want the dread in his stomach to be realised. Everything Rangiku and him had spoken about today… about her hating the way she looked hated the way men treated her… it was all alluding to a single conclusion in Toshiro’s head. One he wished and prayed hadn’t happened.

‘He raped me,’ she confirmed and Toshiro felt like his internal organs had left his body. He felt cold all over and he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Of course he had. Because men were obviously such scum that they couldn’t keep their hands off a woman that they deemed to be “their property.”

 ‘I’ve never told anyone before,’ she admitted.

‘Rangiku,’ he said softly, ‘I’m glad you told me.’ He opened his eyes the horrible rushing noise was pounding in his ears. Like the blood was leaving his body to make way for the horrible cold numbness that seemed to be replacing it. ‘What happened?’ he asked softly, of course if she didn’t want to reply then she could back out, this was all on her, he’d be here in whatever way she needed right now.

‘When I broke up with him, he didn’t take it very well,’ Rangiku explained, ‘He begged me to take him back but when I said no, he decided to force himself on me.’

‘Matsumoto,’ Toshiro replied choosing his next words carefully. ‘I promise you that for as long as you work Zeltrix, I will ensure that it never happens again. He will never get you alone again, even if I personally have to see to it.’

It was a promise now, a promise that had been heard and one he intended to follow through on. He glanced at his emails, the confirmation for a trip to New York coming through. He was going to be sending Rangiku and Ichigo to a conference in New York City soon, but now… now he wasn’t sure it was a good idea because Gin would be there. He hadn’t thought about it fully at the time, hadn’t known the bigger picture like he did now. New plans would have to be made.

She thanked him for the promise and then the conversation turned a little more amicable, clearly she was trying to take her mind off exactly what had happened in her dream. He happily played along, staying awake with her and relishing in the laughter he’d managed to drag from her.

It was a sound he’d never heard before and it was beautiful.

She eventually fell asleep and Toshiro hung up the call, he turned his attention to his laptop to arrange one final thing before he went to bed.

When Rangiku would walk into the office the next day, he’d ensure there was a surprise waiting for her, one that he hoped would cheer her up.

 

 

 

 


	3. Tale of New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They attend the conference in New York, and Toshiro goes undercover to keep Rangiku safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to read Geishaaa's chapter written from Rangiku's POV!

‘Why are you freaking out?’

‘I’m not freaking out.’

‘That horizontal wear in the carpet would suggest otherwise.’

Toshiro glanced down at the carpet and no, there wasn’t any physical wear down however there was very obvious marks from where he’d been pacing backwards and forwards.

‘Are we going to talk about this?’ Yukio’s tone had changed complete and Toshiro glanced at his best friend. For once Yukio’s confident demeanour had completely slipped, his hair was pushed out of both eyes and he was watching Toshiro closely, clearly concerned. ‘You’ve not really been eating much, talking much, you barely leave your room and now this?’ Yukio waved his hand at the desk where the screens were logged into Toshiro’s business emails. He was waiting for the confirmation of a hotel room booking to come back directly from the hotel manager.

‘I, there isn’t much to say really,’ Toshiro muttered. He had his hands clenched in the pocket of his black slacks.

‘Come on Shiro-chan,’ he replied, using his dreaded nick name, ‘we’re practically brothers and you know I always give you your space. I’ll never push too much, but I’m starting to get worried.’

He looked it too, his bright green eyes were full of concern and not the fun quirky confidence that they usually exuded.

‘I just,’ Toshiro took a deep breath, pressing his bitten nails into the palms of his hands as much as he could.

The sound of his emailed pinged and Toshiro launched across the room to check the reply, completely forgetting that he’d been about to say something to Yukio.

He let out a sigh of relief as he saw it.

 

_‘Dear Mr Hitsugaya_

_We’re pleased to confirm the room next door to your previous booking has been secured. We hope you have a fantastic trip._

_Jeremy Connorton_

_Four Seasons Hotel New York’_

 

Toshiro let out a soft sigh and smiled to himself. He could relax now. He’d booked the other rooms ages ago, not really thinking much about it until he’d heard that Gin Ichimaru was indeed attending the conference. It had only be rumoured but he’d likely have seen the list of names and probably seen that Rangiku Matsumoto was going to be attending the event for Zeltrix, which was concerning in itself. If that was the case then Toshiro was going to be there, he was going to be there so he could do whatever he could to protect her.

‘Earth to Shiro? What is _up_ with you bro?’

‘Stop talking like you’re black,’ Toshiro muttered glancing at the booking reference and putting it in his phone, ‘you’re not black.’

Toshiro proceeded to scroll through his emails when another notification pinged on his screen. He smiled as he read the words, his flowers had been delivered. They were now down to five. He was counting them down. It had just sort of happened, started as a bouquet then he started counting them down. What would be at the end of the trail? Well he’d thought long and hard about it, her favourite place in the world was Italy and trying to get Matsumoto to take any time off was a nightmare… he could maybe prompt her with a ticket and all expenses paid to Italy.

Tonight’s flowers were special to, they were arriving with tickets to the New York City conference. Matsumoto had no idea that she was going with Ichigo to represent the business and it would have been such a nice treat for her, but now Toshiro was concerned that Gin would make her feel uncomfortable.

Toshiro didn’t even hear Yukio approaching until it was too late.

‘Flowers?’

‘Jesus,’ Toshiro jumped out his skin and quickly closed down his laptop screen. Yukio was peering over his shoulder and straightened up. ‘You scared the crap out of me,’ Toshiro mumbled rubbing his chest where his heart was beating madly beneath his skin.

‘Flowers… not eating… not sleeping… not talking…’ Yukio was counting down the list on his fingers and then slowly his face broke out into a smile, ‘and now you’re blushing?’

‘No I’m not,’ Toshiro grumbled but he could feel the heat on his face. It was one of the annoying things about being so pale, people could spot a blush a mile away on your skin.

‘I know you don’t think much about my intelligence,’ Yukio laughed pushing his hair back from falling back into his eyes, ‘but even I can see what’s going on here.’

‘There’s nothing going on here,’ Toshiro tried to counter, his face very much still on fire, ‘except you annoying the shit out of me.’

‘Who is she?’ Yukio grinned down at him.

‘Who’s who?’

‘Don’t be stupid, the girl,’ Yukio rolled his eyes, ‘or the guy, I don’t care you’re my best friend after all.’

‘It’s not a guy!’

‘So it’s a girl?’ Yukio grinned smugly down at him and Toshiro stuttered, trying to come out with one coherent thing to say. ‘How long you two been dating?’

‘W-we’re not,’ he sighed and gave up. He’d wanted to open up to Yukio about this for a while now, ‘we’re not dating… I just…’ he looked back at his laptop and opened it up again.

‘Like her?’ Yukio finished for him, Toshiro shrugged because even he wasn’t sure… well okay he was sure but that didn’t make his feelings justified. He hadn’t even met her in real life, she had no idea who he was. It was ridiculous.

‘So you’ve ordered her flowers, who is she? Do I know her?’ Yukio was bouncing around the back of Toshiro’s chair.

‘She works for Zeltrix,’ Toshiro finally admitted.

‘Ohhh, that’s bad,’ Yukio laughed, ‘so she works for the company that you’re the CEO of? She must have been really something special to catch your eye. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you with a crush.’ Yukio plucked one of the apples from the fruit bowl that the hotel had kindly left in his hotel room. They were now over in sunny California and just getting ready to go for dinner. Toshiro had declined which was what had led to this particular conversation.

It was 5:30pm their time but in Tokyo it would be about 9am the next day, Matsumoto usually got into the office promptly, never late but never too early either. Toshiro often checked for her icon on Skype to appear as online, so he knew roughly when she got into the office.

She’d have gotten in for 8:30am, answered some emails and done a little work, then would have gone for breakfast with Ichigo and sometimes Isshin joined them with a few others and she’d just be making her way back to her desk for 9:30am, which was pretty much now.

‘She’s kind,’ was all Toshiro offered verbally before a conversation chat window flickered.

 

**Matsumoto 17:35pm**

**OMG! Five flowers!!! I am so curious to see what happens when they get to one ;)**

**Wait… there’s a card :o**

 

By this point Yukio was reading over his shoulder, he sucked in a breath when he spotted the picture of exactly who it was. Yukio knew Matsumoto was his marketing lead. The whole company had become endeavoured by her. Not only was she incredibly hard working, she was passionate, driven, bubbly and so incredibly upbeat and kind, everyone in the company now knew who she was. Toshiro smiled proudly at the screen for a moment as he waited for her to reply back about the card.

 

**Matsumoto 17:42pm**

**WHAT!!! You’re sending me to New York for the conference??? :o**

**I can’t believe it!!! Thank you!!!! The card was hand written too? Was it yours?**

 

The chat was then infiltrated with every kind of rainbow, sunshine and unicorn emoji known to man. It was true that Toshiro had actually hand written the card then posted it to the delivery company, he thought the more personal touch would have maybe made her feel like she was growing closer to him somehow without him really having to reveal himself to her.

‘Dude,’ Yukio laughed leaning back, ‘you’ve totally got her.’

‘What?’ Toshiro turned around very much aware his cheeks were still on fire.

‘What do you mean what?’ Yukio smiled gently at him and pointed back at the screen, ‘I know women and trust me, that kind of chat. She’s totally into you, that’s total flirtation there. You better reply.’

‘I-she’s not flirting with me,’ Toshiro could feel the blush extending all the way up to his ears as he hastily typed a reply.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 17:45pm**

**Yes, it’s hand written by myself, I wrote it and posted it so they could include it with your flowers.**

 

He didn’t include any emoji’s himself for fear of Yukio making fun of him, he just hoped that Matsumoto didn’t think he was being off with her.

 

**Matsumoto 17:46pm**

**Well that was very nice of you Captain ;)**

**I’ll keep it forever <3 I am so excited! Oh! What will I wear? :D**

 

‘Dude,’ Yukio sounded amused and when Toshiro turned to look at him the blond was shaking his head with a smile on his face. ‘How you got a girl like that, when you’ve never even met I’ll never know.’

‘We’re not dating,’ Toshiro repeated.

‘Maybe you’ve not been on a date, but take it from someone who knows a lot more about women than you,’ Yukio said as he went around collecting his things from the room, ‘she’s flirting with you and if you like her then you should do something about it, but if not then don’t lead her on.’ He smiled and ducked out of the room closing the door gently behind him.

Toshiro wanted forgo food for sitting here speaking with Matsumoto. She’d now gone on a ramble about what to wear and what kind of attire would be appropriate most of which Toshiro didn’t even read but he did want to warn her… because there was a chance that maybe she wouldn’t know that Gin was going.

He didn’t want to upset her though, or stop her from going… he knew he was going to be there to keep an eye on her but did he not tell her and risk her getting more upset? He started typing and then deleted it… then typed again and deleted it.

No she should be fully informed, if she then decided not to go it would be fine.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 17:55pm**

**You should know I booked the tickets and hotel room etc before I knew Gin was going.**

**So whatever you wear make sure it’s appropriate, Ichigo is going as well so please stick close to him. Ichigo is protective by nature, he wont let anything happen to you.**

 

Toshiro waited with baited breath for her reply. He was torn, he wanted her to go partly so he could see her in real life and look after her himself from afar, but he also wanted her to be safe and the safest place for her was as far away from Gin as she could be.

 

**Matsumoto 17:58pm**

**It was inevitable that I’d be in the same room as him again, given that I choose to work for you. However I don’t regret my decision at all, I will proudly go and represent Zeltrix at this conference. I will keep Ichigo close though don’t worry :) I will even make him wait outside the bathroom for me.**

 

Toshiro breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at the screen. He was glad she was going to go, he just hoped this didn’t bring her more nightmares. Sometimes it seemed her nightmares would get worse, happening more often. She often called Toshiro so he’d taken to keeping his phone on and even gave her his own personal number so if there was an emergency he was reachable. Knowing that Gin would be there though… it wasn’t enough to know she had his number or had Ichigo, he had to be there himself. He’d made a promise and he intended to keep it.

Before heading down to dinner he checked his flight plans and even checked the email with the hotel booking confirmation. He’d need to speak to both Yukio and Rukia, they couldn’t come with him, it was too risky. Rangiku knew too much about them, she’d spot him for sure. They thought that they were heading for the big convention happening in New York City, but truth was Toshiro wanted to be close by. Juggling both events while trying to keep his identity hidden was going to be a challenge..

 

 

Toshiro was glad that Yukio hadn’t mentioned anything to Rukia, sure the blond teased him a little but he was secretly a good guy. It wasn’t that Toshiro didn’t want Rukia to know, it was just that he couldn’t be bothered dealing with ‘that look.’

When people knew you liked someone, there was a particular way they’d look at you and a particular way they’d ask their questions, with their voices changing as if they were hinting at some higher knowledge. Toshiro hated it, it made him feel so insecure and like he was a child who knew nothing about the topic.

It was true he didn’t have a great deal of knowledge, but that didn’t mean he knew nothing. He’d heard Yukio’s tales of woes and he had tried dating once. He knew roughly how the process worked even if it didn’t last very long. He’d never slept with a woman before either but he knew how it all worked, knew where all the parts went and had seen more than enough youtube videos on how to do things right with women. He tried not to watch porn if he could avoid it, he found it was incredibly unrealistic, especially since Yukio pointed that very thing out to him once as did Rukia.

It was one of very few times the two agreed on a topic.

Toshiro bounced his leg as he recalled the conversation. It had come about after watching a scene in Game of Thrones, something the three of them always sat down to watch together. Now he was sitting in first class of the American airlines taking them to Tokyo.

Did he own a private jet? Yes.

Where was it?

Taking Ichigo and Matsumoto to New York City. He didn’t want to run the risk of the two ending up on the same flight as Gin, it wasn’t worth it, not if he couldn’t be there. So he’d sent the jet to Tokyo to pick them up and take them to New York City instead of himself Rukia and Yukio. He just hoped that the pilot had cleared the jet before they travelled, he’d not even thought about it until this morning. There was a good chance that there may have been pictures in there… not that there were any of Toshiro where you could see his face, but plenty of Yukio, Rukia, Ichigo and everyone else he cared about. He wasn’t sure what made him nervous about it… maybe that she’d work out who he was if she saw him with them or… maybe she’d think it was weird that he had pictures of his friends up in his private jet? Who did that?

‘What’s wrong with you?’ Rukia muttered leaning over into his private space.

‘I just hate community flights,’ he sighed, he wasn’t lying. He didn’t feel like he could be himself where there were people staring at him. True in first class he could raise the partition and ignore them but he was now so used to his own privacy that it made him feel even more uneasy. He’d told them that the jet required a bit of maintenance and that’s why they weren’t taking it. Yukio looked like he’d worked it out but he said nothing to Rukia if he had.

‘So what’s the plan when we land?’ Rukia asked, Toshiro had booked himself two rooms, he’d let Yukio in on the secret to try and keep Rukia in the dark. She’d say how awful an idea it was meanwhile Yukio really wanted him to get laid so he was more on board.

‘We go to the hotel, check in, sleep.’ He muttered, ‘I’ll go and meet with Ichigo before the conference, I want to make sure he’s prepped.’

‘Isn’t that Matsumotos job?’ Rukia asked.

‘Yes for marketing,’ Toshiro rolled his eyes, ‘plus I just want to see him again.’

Rukia relaxed at that and the conversation moved on. This was going to be insane, it would probably be easier if Rukia just knew but he couldn’t handle it. It was going to be a whirlwind of emotion for him and he just wanted to be by himself for most of it.

Yukio took up the remaining 4 hours of the flight encouraging them to play games to take Toshiro mind off things.

When they landed a driver had Rukia’s last name written on a piece of card and led them to the car, taking their bags. Toshiro got in the back beside Yukio and Rukia got in the front. The ride to the hotel wasn’t far by distance but of course the crazy New York City traffic made it impossible to get there any faster than walking would have.

Once they arrived a member of staff came out to help take their luggage to their rooms, luckily this hotel was just three blocks away from the Four Seasons Hotel where he’d actually be going.

Toshiro checked his watch, it was just after 7pm, Ichigo and Matsumoto’s flight would have just gotten in but by the time they got through security and made it to the hotel he’d be there much quicker.

He quickly took out his already packed bag from his suitcase and slung it over his shoulders. He’d pulled a hoodie on and forced the sunglasses onto his face as he made his way down and out the exit, Yukio would just tell Rukia he’d gone off to meet Ichigo or that he was sick or whatever he needed too to keep her off his trail.

The walk was pleasant, the cool evening air dispelling some of his concerns as his head bounced around his plan. This was incredibly risky and Ichigo had no idea he’d be there. He’d have to try and speak to the strawberry blond at some point but there was a good chance he’d be beside Matsumoto the entire trip, he didn’t want to risk texting, calling or emailing because he knew that it would put Ichigo in an odd situation and what if Matsumoto read over his shoulder the same way Yukio did with him?

No, too risky. He slunk into the hotel and made his way quickly up toward the reception, the manager coming out to meet him straight away.

His card key was given promptly and he left the instructions around the rooms with the hotel staff, he was in room 607, Matsumoto was to be in 608 and Ichigo in 609, all beside each other with Matsumoto in the middle. Just in case Gin ended up on the same floor. He took his card and slunk away up to find his room.

The rooms of the Four Season Hotels were beautiful, he’d not gone for the most expensive given that was most likely where Gin would be. Instead he’d opted for the cosmopolitan rooms, everything was elegant even though the rooms were a little small. A large square bed dominated the space, lit underneath, the side tables, lamps, desk and chairs everything was quite square looking, just like the large couch. It carried a feeling of cleanliness and organisation that made Toshiro feel relaxed.

He checked the time again and started to wait. He knew it would likely be another hour before they actually got here and once they did they’d likely go to sleep or get food, one of the two options.

He soon grew far too impatient waiting in the room and ducked out, keeping his hoodie on and his sunglasses on too. He held his phone in his hand so he could pretend to be on it if they did come up. The staircases were wide open and the banister that looked down over them had a nice big open feel with plush cream carpets, there were even seats there beside the high rise windows peering out over the beautiful city. He stood leaning over the banister where he was sure he’d be able to see them come up the stairs if they were taking them or the elevators where were just to his right on the landing.

He kept his phone in his hand ready to slap it against his ear, his heart doing erratic things in his chest as he tried to keep calm. Every single time the elevator door opened he jumped but it was always other people in business suits, some in loungewear just like him hauling suitcases behind them as they made their way to their rooms after long flights. His heart was only just beginning to settle when he heard voices.

‘It’s a lot further up than I thought,’ a shaky laugh came from the stairs and Toshiro knew that laugh! He glanced down over the banister, phone coming up to his head. One thing he knew how to do, was pull off an American accent, so he started making up something about statistics as he watched the two orange heads walking up the stairs together.

He quickly turned away and walked towards the window as Ichigo and Matsumoto reached his level.

‘I don’t care if I need to lose weight before the wedding,’ Ichigo puffed, ‘let’s never take those stairs again.’

‘Yeah,’ she replied a little breathlessly but she sounded so very happy. ‘It wasn’t the best idea,’ she laughed.

Toshiro peaked at their backs as they made their way down the hallway towards their rooms, Rangiku wasn’t that much shorter than Ichigo. He swallowed, he knew she was tall but he had hoped that maybe she wouldn’t have been _that_ tall. As they finally found their rooms, she turned to face Ichigo as he fiddled with the key card and Toshiro’s stupid accent died in his throat. He swallowed thickly, even after a 13 hour flight, she looked stunning. Her long hair falling into her face as she pushed it back to watch what Ichigo was doing, she tousled her hair for a moment and smiled as the click lit up to say that the room door had opened. Ichigo held it open for her.

‘That’s your room,’ Ichigo said holding the door open and Toshiro was pleased to notice it was indeed the centre room, ‘mine is just next door, we can order room service from mine, I’ll just charge Mr Hyroninmaru he won’t mind.’

Toshiro snorted at the comment and as Matsumoto went to walk into the room her eyes landed on him for a moment. He quickly started gibbering away on his phone again, turning his back on them. He heard the sound of their doors closing and decided to wait for Matsumoto to slip into Ichigo’s room so he didn’t run the risk of running into her in such close proximity.

He soon heard the door open and glanced back over his shoulder to see Matsumoto knocking on Ichigo’s door.

God she was beautiful.

It was no wonder she had such an issue with men fawning over her. Toshiro was glad that Ichigo was with her now, he’d never let anything ever happen to her. Not that Toshiro assumed she couldn’t take care of herself but even as she stood there in the corridor there was vulnerability in the way she held herself that made Toshiro’s heart squeeze. She glanced nervously across her shoulder behind her and then back down towards him where he quickly looked away and pretended to bark something back down the phone.

Soon Ichigo’s door opened and she slipped inside, he waited for a few seconds after it had closed before making his way quickly down to his own room and slipping inside. As soon as the door closed shut he leaned his entire body against it.

This was ridiculous! She was completely out of his league. Why was he even here? What was he doing?

This was so incredibly pathetic. He sunk to the floor and leaned his forehead against his arms in the foetal position.

The sunglasses dug into his skin but he ignored it, he was out of his depth. There was no way a girl like that would ever be remotely interested in him and that thought actually hurt him more than he was willing to admit. He swallowed around the tight lump of emotion in his throat and let out a shaky sigh.

What the hell was he doing here?

It took him a few moments, then he remembered the way Matsumoto had held herself in the hallway, looking over her shoulder nervously and he opened his eyes. That’s right, he was here to protect her, not to perv on her like every other guy on the planet would do. Maybe she was completely out of his league, maybe they’d never ever get together. He’d have to make his peace with that fact and would eventually have to put distance between them to protect his own heart, but for now, she needed him. He’d made a promise and he intended to keep it. He knew that Gin was somewhere in this hotel and that was likely what was making her feel uneasy as well.

She was safe right now, she was in the room with Ichigo and then they’d both be going to sleep. She’d move back into her room and Toshiro would stay awake until then. Hotels weren’t exactly known for having the thickest of walls, if he didn’t put his TV on he’d easily be able to tell the opening and shutting of the doors on either side of him.

Toshiro stood up and tore the sunglasses off, dumping them on the table before pulling the hood of his jumper down. He glanced around the room, the bed looking cosy and inviting facing toward the window. He made his way over to the window and opened it wide, letting the cool fresh air sweep into his room. The sky was now pitch black and all around him was the city lights of New York twinkling; hundreds of thousands of people going about their own business, hotels, conferences, conventions, meetings, working in offices or going home. Toshiro smiled, something about it reminded him so much of Tokyo it was like being home.

He stood at the window for a moment, listening to the sounds of distant sirens before he turned around and dressed into something more comfortable. He crawled into bed and settled down with a book.

He was halfway through his chapter of Watership Down when he heard a door opening, he strained his ears and soon enough he heard the door next door open and close. He relaxed a little, listening to the gentle thuds and bumps next door before the muted sound of a TV being turned on greeted his ears.

He was surprised she wasn’t going straight to bed, so he decided to stay awake keeping his phone close in case she decided to Skype him.

 

**Matsumoto 21:34pm**

**We arrived safe & sound Captain :D**

**And thanks for the roses x**

 

Toshiro smiled down at the notification, the little kiss at the end making his heart flutter. He tried not to overanalyse it, she usually sent him so many emoji’s that it could have easily been mistyped. He was meant to be a few hours ahead considering she still thought he was in California, but he usually stayed up late anyway so it really wouldn’t look that odd if he replied back immediately.

 

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:35pm**

**Good I’m glad :) I hope you had a good flight?**

 

**Matsumoto 21:36pm**

**Amazing, Captain!!! You're jet is so cool. I loved the pictures btw ;)**

 

Lightning like fear struck through him in that instant. He felt his blood rush cold against his ears as his heart momentarily stopped, only to pick back up double the pace. He'd forgotten in his haste of the day that the pictures topic would come up. Quickly he scanned the section of the jet in his mind, there were definitely no pictures of himself, that he was sure of. Except maybe one, but he had made sure to put only one up that no one could recognise him from. However now that he honestly thought about it, he had other photos there that may bring Matsumoto one step closer to working out who he was. He had a picture of his cousin on there and she'd gone to Game Station. There was a good chance that she would know who Momo was, what her last name was... work out a relation and if she really wanted to go out of her way he was pretty sure she could find out Momo's relatives which may lead her to a name... his name. He swallowed thickly and beat back his anxiety for a moment.

This was Matsumoto and yes she'd expressed an interest in knowing who he was... he had to trust that she wouldn't take this to that level of extreme and would respect his privacy. After all the conversations they'd had, surely he knew her well enough to know that if she got to find out who he was it was when HE decided.

His fingers were still shaking a little when he went to reply.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:39pm**

**Yes I had almost forgotten about them.**

 

He hesitated for a moment, he'd rather know exactly all the images she'd seen so he could ease his mind.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:39pm**

**Did any in particular catch your eye?**

 

**Matsumoto 21:41pm**

**So many! I love how you've got photos of everyone looking so happy :)**

**There was one that I did want to ask about though... I recognised Momo in one. I remember her from Game Station and I know she was the one who used to have my job. I was just wondering why she was on the wall... is she related to you or a friend or something?**

 

Toshiro closed his eyes when he read the message. Of course, it was at least good to know she was as perceptive as she was beautiful. He tucked that knowledge into the back of his mind for later. He could brush her off, say he had work and go back to... doing what? He glanced around the hotel room and sighed, realising that at the moment he didn't really have anything else to do with his time. His fingers twitched toward the keyboard, she'd been so honest and open with him and yes it was difficult for him to open up because he'd never done it before but part of him wanted to try.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:43pm**

**She is related to me.**

**Cousin actually, we were both raised together by my Grandmother.**

 

He let the words linger on the screen for a moment before he hit enter and watched them flow up into their big Skype conversation. He waited patiently for her response while trying to calm his beating heart.

Momo's last name came from her married parents before they passed away, Hinamori, it was very likely that Matsumoto would assume that his last name was also this since it would make sense. Toshiro watched the Skype message appearing at the bottom notifying him that Matsumoto was typing. He had his hands painfully clasped together in front of him on the bed, his book now forgotten at the side.

 

**Matsumoto 21:45pm**

**Your grandmother looked so cute :) a lot like Momo I noticed, but not her eyes. Her eyes were gorgeous! The teal was beautiful, and it matches the Zeltrix logo.**

**Is that why you chose the colour?**

 

When her message finally came through he smiled, thinking about his gran. He loved her very much he felt the slight clenching of his heart as he remembered the exact picture that Matsumoto was talking about.

“Her eyes were gorgeous...” she thought that his grandmother’s eyes were gorgeous? He swallowed thickly, was it too pathetic to now admit his eyes were the same colour? Was that coming across too attention seeking and needy? He debated with himself for several moments on that, then exhaled. His eyes were the one thing about himself that he did love, the one thing of his appearance he wasn't ashamed of, because they'd been a gift from her. Yes it was why the logo was the colour it was and why a lot of their branding was centred around the colour.

Matsumoto already had enough information on him now that if she wanted to find him, she probably could, if she had connections in the right places. What was one more piece of information?

And yes... maybe he was wanting a little bit of her attention.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:48pm**

**Yes, it was why I chose the colour :) very perceptive. It's also the one part of my own appearance I'm least ashamed of. She gifted me with her eyes.**

 

**Matsumoto 21:49pm**

**I'm not sure how you could ever be ashamed of your looks with eyes so wonderful. Surely people couldn't look anywhere but your eyes? Your grandmother's were piercing, I couldn't look away.**

 

He smiled, his heart fluttering in his chest at her compliment. He knew that he'd been asking for it but he hadn't realised how much he'd needed to hear someone else compliment an aspect of his appearance until just that moment.

 

**Mr Hyroinmaru 21:50pm**

**Thank you Rangiku :)**

**How are you enjoying New York?**

 

It was a very obvious topic change and one he knew she'd recognise immediately. It wasn't that he didn't like talking about his appearance just that there was only so much his anxiety could take. Sometimes when speaking to her he’d often forget what little chance he had and allowed his feelings to get swept up in the conversation. After seeing her today though he had to be realistic, getting more emotionally involved than he already was would only be a detriment to his health later on.

He was excited to hear all about her journey and so settled down with his laptop ready for the influx of messages that would inevitably clog his Skype.

\---

Toshiro jolted awake to the sound of his alarm and scrambled awkwardly from the bed. The covers were so thick as were the pillows that for a moment he became entangled and only just managed to save his laptop from a nasty fall by the skin of his teeth. He gently placed the laptop on his bedside table aware he’d fallen asleep with it on last night and now the battery was dead.

He checked his phone, it was just after 7am, breakfast would be starting in the hotel at 7:30am. He knew that the conference wasn’t due to take place until 11am, meaning that Ichigo and Rangiku would likely go for breakfast outside of the hotel. He’d recommended a popular bagel shop to her as they’d spoken the night before and hoped she would take his advice so he could make sure of a couple of things prior to the conference commencing.

He quickly showered and pulled on a fresh shirt and pair of trousers, slipping out of the room and down the hall.

Thankful he hadn’t run into anyone he went off in search of the hotel room information he’d saved on his laptop. The 8th floor seemed to be dedicated to meeting spaces and conference rooms. It was here he found the deputy hotel manager waiting for him.

‘Hello, you must be Yuuri? I’m Steven,’ he said holding out his hand for Toshiro to shake.

‘Yes that’s right,’ Toshiro smiled politely to him, ‘I’m glad you knew I was coming.’

‘Mr Hyroinmaru was very thorough in his report,’ Steven laughed, ‘even his email carried a sentiment of a man who tolerated no nonsense.’

‘Yes,’ Toshiro laughed, ‘that’s him.’

‘What’s it like being his assistant?’ Steven asked peering at Toshiro curiously. Toshiro had decided to forgo the hoodie for this quick meeting but had a pair of yellow tinted gaming glasses on, which was probably why Steven was looking at him weirdly.

‘I’m not really, more his assistants assistant,’ Toshiro laughed, ‘I work for Rukia who is sort of his assistant - it’s weird. Anyway where is the conference being held?’

‘Right this way,’ Steven stood aside so that Toshiro could walk in front of him. They made their way down the corridor and Toshiro tried not to sulk at the fact that Steven was clearly a full foot taller than him in height.

The room was not set out how he’d originally envisioned it. He’d been expecting one giant table with all the chairs around it, however the room was a lot more spacious and large windows on the other side of the room let in a lot of natural light from the City that never slept. He relaxed a little as he saw it and glanced at the names around the tables. Steven didn’t say anything just hung back as Toshiro made his way between all the tables, most of the names he recognised from some gaming companies he’d worked with. Mintendo were a very good company, if a little strict on their copyright, a few other gaming companies included some facebook group and app designers as well as some mobile phones as well. He smiled as he walked around.

Sandy from Pamsung was a hoot, Sharon would likely be with him as well they always made Toshiro feel right at home as two very non-judgemental people. Brian from Pear was a bit weird and he hoped Rangiku didn’t have to sit too close to him either and that’s when he spotted more familiar names.

Gin was to be seated at the front and Rangiku and Ichigo at the back, he glanced around the room and pursed his lips. If Rangiku was looking down the front of the room and Gin was at the front, at any time he could turn and make eye contact with her and he didn’t like that idea, what’s more it would be hard for her to forget his presence if he were in her line of vision.

‘Can we make a couple of swaps to the seating arrangements?’ he asked.

‘Sure what do you want?’ Steven asked taking a step toward him, clearly ready to do Toshiro’s bidding.

When they were done Steven wished him a good day and reminded him that his colleague would be in charge for the evening event should he need anything.

He left the room feeling a lot better, now Rangiku and Ichigo would be at the front making it easier for Rangiku to pay attention without having to worry about someone turning around to stare at her every so often. If he knew Gin, he figured he’d be the kind of man who would do that just to make her uncomfortable and that thought made bile rise in the back of his throat.

He checked his watch and sighed, it was just after 8am, he’d be at risk of running into Ichigo and Rangiku now if he went back to the room. He hadn’t fully thought this through. Quickly he pulled out his mobile and sent a fly Skype message.

**Mr Hyroinmaru 8:03am**

**Did you try the bagels? :)**

 

He waited for the response to come back through without leaving the 8th floor corridor.

 

**Matsumoto 8:04am**

**We’re just heading out to try them just now :D  
I will let you know how we get on. **

It was followed by an onslaught of emojis and Toshiro chuckled as he made his way down to the corridor where there was a smaller staircase heading down to the floor. This one was more at the back of the hotel and wasn’t the main staircase that took you directly to the entrance. He went down to floor six and edged his way down the corridors until he spotted the familiar layout of the one where his room was on.

He waited around the corner out of sight of the doors until he heard a door open and close followed by knocking. He strained his ears and true enough he heard the familiar tones of Ichigo’s voice, he couldn’t make out what the strawberry man was saying but eventually he heard them make their way down the corridor. Toshiro glanced around the corner and saw their retreating forms heading for either the main staircase or the elevators and once out of sight he waited a few moments before quickly sprinting down to his room.

He heaved a sigh of relief when he finally made it inside and quickly sat down beside his laptop. He’d have to think smarter if he were going to survive the next few days here. Though the trip was only going to last the one day, he’d booked them in here for the week, advising Matsumoto to come up with work related things to do so they could still class the entire trip as a business trip despite the fact her and Ichigo would essentially get lots of time to explore the city.

His laptop was just coming back to life as he slipped into a pair of comfortable tartan pants. He sat crossed legged on his bed and decided to spend the rest of the morning going through some emails while ordering room service.

At some point Rukia called him and asked him how he was getting on with Ichigo, he felt bad for lying but he quickly made something up before distracting her with work related questions. For the most part it was a lot of waiting around. He was too scared to leave his hotel room for fear of running into either Ichigo or Rangiku and realised he’d not fully thought about that when he’d come up with the whole ‘room beside hers’ thing. He put on some rubbish TV, did a bit of shopping online and took the occasional call.

Eventually he heard Ichigo and Rangiku return, likely to get ready for the conference and he held his breath. This was going to be incredibly difficult for him to sit here and not do anything.

He started pacing when he heard Ichigo and Rangiku leave for the actual event and wished that Yukio or Rukia could have been here to take his mind off of things, it would have been too risky though. Rangiku knew what they both looked like, if she saw them she’d know who he was instantly.

He knew what floor the event was on and he knew that it would last for 6 hours with a half hour lunch break. At 5pm they’d head back to their rooms, get changed and head back to the party which was being held on a different floor and was likely being set up right now. It was due to start at 6:30pm and would also include a buffet and canapé for food.  

The first hour slipped by so incredibly slowly, Toshiro was doing everything he could to keep himself contained but it was difficult. He was checking his phone every few minutes for any updates or notifications from Rangiku to say that she was having a hard time… nothing came through and instead Toshiro threw himself into his work.

He ordered some room service for lunch and began to pace the small space again. There was no way he was going to be able to do this all night, not for the evening drinks too. That part of the event made him way more nervous than this first part. He knew Rangiku would be fine here because they’d be sitting down and listening and taking part in discussions but the evening party was different. It would present Gin with too many chances to get Rangiku alone if she left Ichigo’s side for one second.   
What if Ichigo had to go to the bathroom? They’d never thought about that. He faltered in his steps and glanced at the clock. It was 4:30pm and it felt like days had passed. If he stayed in his room now he’d have to continue staying there until he knew Rangiku and Ichigo had come and gone again but if he left now maybe he could get himself out of the hotel and doing something more constructive that could take his mind off things. Walks had great ways of clearing his mind and helping him to think logically.   

He threw on a new white shirt and black tie and made his way down the more private stair case at the back of the hotel. He’d avoid the floor of the event for just now. He wasn’t even sure where he was going really until he turned a corner and smacked directly into someone. He’d have fallen to floor if the person hadn’t reached out and grabbed him.

‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry,’ the panicked voice sounded. Toshiro regained his footing, a blush lighting its way up his face as he gazed up towards a man who was only a couple of inches taller than him. The man’s bright blue eyes were gazing down at him looking terrified.

‘It’s okay,’ Toshiro said sighing with relief when he realised the man worked at the hotel, if his uniform was anything to go by. He had a crisp white shirt on and black tie, his name badge sat on his chest.

‘Hey,’ the man looked Toshiro up and down and smiled, ‘are you one of the support staff here to help with the event tonight?’

‘Event?’ Toshiro blinked up at him and he grinned.

‘Yeah that fancy conference upstairs, I know we hired a couple of extra people just for tonight to help out, but we’re meant to be wearing black bow ties and black vests for it. Come with me,’ without even stopping to say anything else he was walking down the corridor. In a panic Toshiro ran after him.

‘Wait,’ he said quickly.

‘It’s a good thing you’re here to, it’s going to be busy tonight. Hey I never caught your name,’ he stopped and turned back to Toshiro who almost walked into him for a second time because he’d stopped so abruptly.

‘I-It’s-‘

‘It’s not really important, we go by nick names here anyway,’ Toshiro’s eyes managed to make out the name ‘Mark’ on his name badge before he grinned and pointed to himself. ‘I’m Chipper,’ he laughed and Toshiro pursed his lips in amusement. Even with English not being his first language he got the joke. ‘You can be Ghost,’ he replied quickly glancing at Toshiro’s hair, ‘because your hairs white,’ as if Toshiro didn’t already know this, ‘and because you were bloody silent sneaking around that corner.’

Toshiro opened his mouth once again to tell Chipper than he wasn’t here to help but the boy had started walking again and Toshiro got to thinking… maybe he could… do this? It sounded insane, but what better way to keep an eye on Gin and making sure he didn’t do anything inappropriate than pretend to work here? He thought of Ichigo and hesitated for a moment, Ichigo may accidently blow his cover because of course the Strawberry would know instantly it was him.

Thinking back to how many seats there had been in the room, it seemed like this party would be huge and busting with people, he could just try and keep away from them and prey that Ichigo didn’t spot him and if he did that he held his tongue.

Toshiro followed quickly behind Chipper, honestly the name suited him better than Mark. He led him downstairs and into a door with ‘private’ written on it.

Toshiro prayed that Steven had now finished his shift and he wouldn’t see Toshiro sneaking around about to pretend to be an employee.

For some reason he warmed up to Chipper pretty fast, maybe it was because the boy was friendly and upbeat, maybe it was because he’d provided Toshiro a great opportunity, maybe it was because he reminded Toshiro a bit of Yukio with his blond hair or maybe it was because he wasn’t much taller than Toshiro himself.

‘Ghost this is Diego, Sylvester, Link and Bob,’ he introduced the other four who were here just for that night. Some of them looked like they really needed the extra money as well.

Turns out they all had appropriate nick names too, Diego had an overbite, Sylvester had a bad lisp, Link barely spoke at all and Bob literally looked like the guy from Bobs burgers. The nick name idea as it turned out was all Chippers idea which really wasn’t a surprise to Toshiro. He also insisted that they wear them as their name badges given that people “don’t really look at their names anyway.”

Toshiro was ushered into a room where an older guy was sitting on a computer. It was actually a pretty cramped little office space, books and papers piled everywhere. There were three desks and two were exceptionally cluttered, one was spotlessly clean and Toshiro had to wonder if it was maybe an empty desk until he saw a picture of a family sitting on it. How that employee got on with the other two and didn’t murder them for their mess was beyond him.

Chipper lead him through the back into another room and Toshiro did his best not to disturb any of the paperwork.

‘So Ghost you single?’ Chipper asked as he held the door open for Toshiro to walk into. There were rows of suits hidden away in nice neat crinkled sheets and hung up on brass bars. There was a row close to the floor and another row up high stretching all around the mahogany wood walls.

‘Yes, but I’m not interested in men, if that’s why you brought me here.’ Toshiro smirked at him and Chipper burst out laughing ruffling his hair as he walked by him and towards a stack of suits at the end that looked like they were being kept separate from the rest.

‘I’m straight don’t you worry,’ he laughed, ‘I actually have a girlfriend but she lives all the way out in England, that’s why I’m working here trying to make the money so I can go back over and see her.’ Something in his voice faltered and Toshiro watched the smile actually slip off Chippers face for a split second. ‘That’s why everyone works though right?’ he said brightening up for a second, ‘love and family.’

‘Yeah,’ Toshiro held out his arms as Chipper brought a measuring tape to him, he took a couple of measurements as they continued speaking.

‘So you not got a girlfriend?’ he asked.

‘No, ah, but there is a girl I like,’ he said, finding Chipper quite easy to talk too.

‘What’s she like?’ he asked curiously glancing up at Toshiro from his position of wrapping a tape measure around his waist.

‘She’s well,’ he smiled fondly, ‘incredibly out of my league? She’s taller than me, long strawberry blond hair, blue eyes.’

‘Really? Like ‘em tall huh?’ he asked and Toshiro scowled a little. ‘No listen I get it, no one really knows how hard it is for us short guys to get tall women. It limits the choices and really you just end up feeling so self-conscious.’

This guy was speaking his language.

He’d turned back towards the dresser and selected a black waist coat that he held out for Toshiro to try on. Toshiro took off his black tie and quickly pulled it on, it fit perfectly.

‘What’s your girlfriend like?’ Toshiro asked wanting to change the topic, he watched as Chippers eyes, which had been scrutinizing the coats fit, lit up.

‘Oh she’s amazing, do you want to see a picture?’

That was how Toshiro spent the next thirty minutes, in a closet alone with a guy he’d just met looking through photo after photo of his girlfriend. Her name was Lilly and he loved her because her name was from Harry Potter and she had long brown hair and wore glasses. She looked incredibly average but Toshiro could tell just from the way that he was talking about her that she was anything but average to him and the thought made Toshiro smile.

Lilly was very lucky to have found a man like Chipper who care for her this much, even as he spoke about her his eyes were lit up and his whole demeanour became ten times more animated.

‘Oh shit,’ he said when he looked down at his watch, ‘is that the time?’ he waved his watch around and Toshiro laughed when he realised it was fast approaching half five. ‘We’d better go, boss will kill me.’

Once Toshiro had his bowtie in place they made their way back through the tiny office and Chipper led the way to the third floor corridor where the large function suit was. It had been set up with a large buffet table at the back. The food wasn’t out yet as it wasn’t nearly close enough to serving time and as the other boys made their way in and out of the kitchen transporting cutlery, Toshiro could smell the food wafting from the room.

‘Okay boys in line,’ Chipper lined them up as the silverware was spared another polishing and walked up and down them all straightening their bowties and tucking in shirts. He didn’t ask anyone to do it themselves he just sort of liked touching people Toshiro realised.

‘It’s a big night for us and remember your impression will reflect on me, I need tonight to go well because then I’ll get paid a little more and should be able to go and visit my Lilly this summer.’ He clapped his hands together, ‘so let’s get to work. Diego you can polish, Link can you get another table cloth for that table? I don’t like how it’s short at one end and long at the other…’

Chipper began delegating tasks and Toshiro was quickly shown by Bob how to carry trays full of champagne and wine.

It was heavier than it looked but Toshiro had a morning routine so he could keep himself in shape. He used to play football with Ichigo’s little sister and that always kept him in good shape, since starting a desk job though he didn’t have time to go out playing football. He did from time to time play a family match with Ichigo, Karin and Isshin when he was visiting, but mostly to keep fit now he’d do morning push-ups and sit-ups. Nothing too strenuous but enough to stop his arms shaking under the trays of wine he’d be expected to carry that night.

The boys found a bit of time for a comfort break before the guests were due to arrive and Toshiro found himself glancing at the clock a few times, nervous energy settling in his bones.

‘You nervous?’ Chipper asked bounding up to him.

‘Yeah a little bit,’ Toshiro laughed lightly.

‘Don’t be, I’ll be right here remember and if you need something you can always ask me,’ he grinned and gave Toshiro two rather animated thumbs up before calling the boys back into the kitchen. He and Link stayed outside to open the doors and greeting the gusts as they came in.

The kitchen was huge and stuffy. The chefs were hard at work making the delicate little canapé dishes which were to be served first before the real buffet would begin. Toshiro watched through the pass to see what was happening beyond the bar. His heart was hammering in his throat, what was he doing? This was insane… Ichigo would see him, the room was big but his white hair was so obvious. Why had he let Chipper talk him into this without thinking about this logically? He tried to swallow back his nausea.

Love will make you do crazy things indeed.

That was the saying right?

Chipper soon stuck his head back into the room and the boy’s grabbed trays of food and wine and champagne and began to spill out from the kitchen. As soon as he walked out, his heart hammering in his ribcage he clocked the very obvious red hair from across the room and instantly swerved away from it. Rangiku and Ichigo were at the bottom of the room engaged in conversation with others. He spotted Link making his way down with champagne which meant that Toshiro could focus on the top part of the room. He wove in and out of people with his tray with ease. It was like wearing an awkward cosplay at a convention, something he was used too.

The first fifteen minutes flew by and soon everyone had glasses of alcohol in their hands. Toshiro made his way back behind the bar and quickly opened another bottle of wine, his eyes were trained in on the two figures at the far side, they weren’t paying him any mind but his eyes started dancing around the room for another figure he’d glimpsed and soon enough he saw him.

Gin.

Gin was looking across the room at Rangiku like she was something tasty and Toshiro’s eyes slid back to her. He’d not stopped to actually look at her since he’d started working but now his breath caught in his throat. She was wearing a stunning blue dress, likely to compliment her eyes though he couldn’t see that from this far away. Her hair fell in beautiful loose curls down her back and over her shoulders and Ichigo seemed to be keeping her pretty close. Toshiro was thankful for that. He swallowed the welling of emotions in his throat.

Out of his league.

Out of his league.

Out of his league.  

He had to remember that. So he focused his eyes back on Gin, the man was still staring and Toshiro didn’t like the way in which he was. There were several kinds of staring a man could do, one was with genuine interest and curiosity, like how someone may eye a particular artefact. Another was with care when a man loved something so completely and dearly, sometimes shocked stares could happen too but then there were the creepy stares. The stares of a predator eyeing prey and that was exactly how Gin was eyeing Rangiku up.

Toshiro felt a swell of protectiveness rise in him and as his eyes travelled back across the room he spotted Ichigo clock Gin and reposition himself so that he cut off Gins view of Rangiku. Toshiro smirked at the glare that earned Ichigo’s back from Gin. Instead the snake broke away from his crew and made his way over towards the bar and towards Toshiro.

Toshiro wanted to hurt him, but he also didn’t watch Chipper to get in trouble so he swallowed thickly and put his best fake smile on his face.

‘This wine is cheap as shit,’ Gin growled at him and Toshiro realised he was taking his frustration out on the kid working behind the bar… of course. How Neanderthal of him.

‘I’m sorry Sir,’ he said about to give him an apology bow but held off because this was Western culture and not expected here. ‘Would you like something else?’

‘Get me a gin and tonic,’ he barked and Toshiro set about making one. He always hated the drink himself but he knew how to make it since Yukio drunk everything under the sun, so he selected the most expensive gin he could see and added ice, mint and tonic. Once the drink was sufficiently shaken he poured it into a tall glass and slid it across the table towards him.

‘There you are,’ he tried to keep the venom from his voice.

‘That’s much better,’ Gin said smacking his lips after tasting it, his eyes sliding back across the room towards Ichigo and Rangiku. Now he could see them both again and Toshiro swallowed thickly.

‘Are they people you know?’ he asked making light conversation.

‘Aye the ginger girl will be tonight’s conquest if you know what I mean.’ He chuckled and slid away from the back, not noticing the way Toshiro’s hand tightened on the mahogany wood.

‘I see,’ was all Toshiro could say. Gin paid him no mind and went back to where his colleagues were standing. Toshiro counted to ten and let out a deep breath.

He slipped back into the kitchen and kept an eye out through the pass as the mingling continued.

‘Ghost could you give me a hand please?’ one of the chefs asked, ‘we’re one short in the kitchen tonight and I’m trying to plate these up, see if I plate them here can you add them to the trays for me?’

Toshiro agreed and the two set about a system that soon had several trays of food ready to go. These would be for the buffet though sometimes Link or Sylvester would pop in and fill up their own trays before ducking back out again.

It was the perfect place for Toshiro to be, he could keep an eye on what was going on outside while being kept hidden away from the eyes of people who may otherwise recognise him. The chef was also incredibly grateful for Toshiro’s help.

Chipper eventually came back in looking for Toshiro and his face lit up when he saw him.

‘There you were, I was wondering, are you helping Gusto?’ he asked referring to the chefs nick name.

‘Yeah he’s being a massive help,’ the chef replied as Toshiro went about his system he’d built to ensure the maximum number of items could be placed on the tray without compromising each other.

‘Excellent, see when you’re done with that would you start taking them out to the table? I’ll send Bob to give you a hand in a few minutes since the buffet needs to start at 7pm sharp.’

Toshiro confirmed his orders and went back to his work, he realised a job like this wouldn’t actually be too bad if you were working for someone like Chipper. He was soon joined by Bob and together they took the trays out toward the buffet table. He tried to keep his distance when Ichigo was glancing over to the table and gritted his teeth that the strawberry was now paying more attention to the food than to Rangiku.

‘You okay Ghost? You seem on edge,’ Chipper said thoughtfully after Toshiro returned to bar and the buffet was announced. The guests were making their way over to the table and Toshiro ducked behind Bob to keep himself hidden from view.

‘No I’m fine, just know someone here and trying to stay away from them.’

‘Who is it, do I need to fight them?’ Chipper said seriously as he glanced around the room.

‘No one,’ Toshiro laughed, ‘it’s fine, it will be fine.’

He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or Chipper but soon people were mingling again and he was asked to take the tray of wine back around. This time it was harder to hide from view as most people were still congregating around the buffet table. Ichigo and Rangiku had made their way down the bottom end of the room again after getting some food but she didn’t seem to be eating too much. Toshiro’s eyes made their way back to Gin who had polished off his gin and tonic and another glass of champagne and seemed to be making his way down towards them.

Toshiro could hear a strange ringing of warning bells in his mind as the predator stalked down the room and slowly his own feet moved after him. He was watching the scene unfold as if from through a long narrow passage and Gin slid right up behind Rangiku.

It was clear from her whole body language that she wasn’t ready for the encounter, she leaned away from him and Ichigo instantly wrapped an arm protectively around her. Gins eyes seemed to follow his vision and words were being said that Toshiro couldn’t quite hear because he was so far away from them still.

Curse his short legs.

He was almost stopped by Link asking if he could take a couple of the glasses of wine for another guest and Toshiro held the tray out for him to take a few, he wasn’t paying attention, his eyes focused totally on what was happening with Gin and Rangiku.

Gin made a ballsy move just as Toshiro approached them, he slid right up against Rangiku his hand coming around her back and reaching for her ass and Toshiro saw red.

What happened next happened far too quickly.

He didn’t even pretend to trip, he literally basically threw the entire tray of wine at Gin directly, the resounding smash and Gin’s yelp of pain and embarrassment drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

‘Sorry,’ Toshiro said, not sounding the least bit sorry at all.

‘You little shit,’ Gin snarled at him and while his attention was drawn there was a tiny moment of panic as Ichigo and he made eye contact. The strawberry blond’s eyes went wide.

‘Tosh???’ he called and Toshiro quickly ducked away. He hoped Ichigo had enough sense to get Rangiku out of there as soon as possible as he fled toward one of the staff exits at the back of the room. Chipper had rushed forward to try and quell the furious Gin and Toshiro felt a pang of guilt at that.

He hadn’t meant to do that to Chipper.

He made his way through the back ignoring everyone calling on him and quickly tore off his bowtie and waistcoat leaving them on a chair in one of the offices before sprinting up the stairs and quickly to his room.

He’d not moved that fast since he’d played football with Ichigo and Karin and stood panting in his room as he tried to calm his racing heart.

He knew that Ichigo and Rangiku had got out because he heard her room door going and slamming shut followed by voices that sounded low and hushed through the walls. God Toshiro wished he knew what they were saying. At one point Rangiku seemed like she was getting upset but no wonder, the fucking cunt had tried to grab her ass.

Toshiro sighed and collapsed onto his bed face first. This had not been his brightest idea.

He lay there for a while listening to the gentle mumblings from through the wall, wishing he could hear them and wondering what they were saying. Was Rangiku telling Ichigo everything that had happened? Were they simply discussing the day’s events? Had Ichigo worked out a little of what was going on with her?

Toshiro wanted to speak with her so bad. He glanced around his room and sighed, soon the noise of chat calmed down and Toshiro actually put his ear against the wall to hear the sound of water running. Perhaps she’d gone for a shower? He stalked around his own room with the crushing realisation that he couldn’t stay in this hotel room anymore. Not with what he’d done to the hotel staff and to Chipper…

He paused and fired a quick text to Yukio informing him he’d be going to the other hotel as of tonight which the blond sent back a smiley face and eggplant emoji.

Toshiro then sat down at his desk and pulled some of the hotel notepad paper over and began to scribble a letter out to Chipper. Thankfully he often kept blank envelopes in the front of his bag along with stamps, pens and other useful things. Business men had to be prepared for everything. He scribbled out his apology and popped a cheque in the envelope before turning his attention to his laptop.

Rangiku was not online. Not that he expected her to be, he’d just hoped that maybe he might catch her. He strained his ears to listen to what was happening next door when his phone lit up on the desk, he grabbed for it and hesitated when he saw Ichigo’s face lighting up his phone screen.

‘Hello?’ he asked hesitantly.

‘Toshiro? What room are you in? The one next to mine or the one next to Rangiku’s?’ the strawberry asked.

‘The one next to Rangiku’s,’ Toshiro walked over to the door and opened it a fraction, Ichigo hung up on him and second later he was just outside. Toshiro let the door open wide and the strawberry walked right in.

‘What the heck Toshiro? I almost blew your cover?’ Ichigo ran a hand through his hair looking exasperated and put out. He did look good though and had definitely lost a lot of weight since the last time Toshiro had seen him. His dark grey shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his tie and jacket somewhere forgotten.

‘I, it’s good to see you,’ Toshiro started, ‘you’ve lost a lot of weight.’

Ichigo deflated instantly a soft smile appearing on his face.

‘Thanks, but don’t try and change the subject, you’ve been sending Rangiku flowers,’ he pointed at him accusingly and Toshiro groaned. He walked over to his bed where he’d half packed all his things back into his bag.

‘Rangiku and I,’ he started.

‘Wow you’re calling her by her first name? That’s huge!’

‘Do you want me to talk or not?’

‘I’m sorry please continue…’ Ichigo sat down on Toshiro’s bed and Toshiro sighed and paced around a little, trying to work off some of the restless energy.

‘We’ve been speaking a lot, she’s lovely I just wanted to make her feel better. She wasn’t in a good place when she joined,’ he paused and glanced over to Ichigo.

‘I know all about Gin, she just opened up to me fully tonight,’ Ichigo said his voice grim, ‘fucking asshole.’

‘Yeah,’ Toshiro nodded his head in agreement. ‘Well she had nightmares so when she woke I was usually online, she reached out to me and I got protective.’ Toshiro shrugged like it was no big deal and Ichigo smiled knowingly at him.

‘You’re in love with her,’ he said after a moment and Toshiro felt a blush creep up his neck.

‘No I’m not-’

‘Oh you are,’ Ichigo practically squealed and Toshiro quickly hushed him pointing to Rangiku’s room.

‘I am not,’ he huffed again and Ichigo just looked at him with that stupid grin and his stupid smug face. ‘I may have feelings for her… maybe… yes.’

‘Oh it would be so great if you two got together, you’d treat her so well,’ Ichigo smiled and Toshiro scowled at him.

‘It won’t happen Kurosaki.’

‘Why not?’ Ichigo’s face fell and Toshiro stared at him dumbly.

‘Look at me,’ he pointed to himself, ‘look at her, could you honestly see that working?’

‘Yes?’ Ichigo blinked at him, ‘and you want it too, no man sends flowers unless he has a particular motive regardless of what he tells himself.’

Toshiro scrubbed his face and took deep breaths. Ichigo was right and he knew it, he’d been trying to chip away at Rangiku with flowers, originally they’d just been to cheer her up but now each felt like a promise, a promise of something else, something more.

‘Okay well look, I can’t stay here I caused a stink with the hotel staff so I need to go and move to the hotel that Yukio and Rukia are staying at,’ Toshiro said finally.

‘Oh, Rukia and Yukio are here too?’ Ichigo perked up, ‘can I see them?’

‘Not without Rangiku discovering me, if you can meet with them discreetly then do so but please don’t leave her alone until we know Gin is out the country.’

‘Yes,’ Ichigo’s face fell, ‘of course, she won’t be left alone for a second until tomorrow. I overheard one of his team members saying their flights were tomorrow in the evening.’

‘Good,’ Toshiro sighed, he felt better now that he knew Ichigo was aware of the situation and willing to help as much as he could. He could go to the other hotel and know that Rangiku was safe now.

‘You should introduce yourself,’ Ichigo smiled, ‘she’s asked after you so many times. Keeps trying to get me to reveal your name, it’s cute. I think she likes you a lot now that I think about it.’

‘Oh,’ Toshiro felt his ears turning pink, ‘well, it still doesn’t change my feelings on the matter, she’d be better off with a proper man.’

‘As opposed to what? A slug? Do you really think so little of yourself Toshiro?’

‘Little yes,’ Toshiro sighed walking away from a scowling Ichigo.

‘You know that’s not what I meant.’

‘Please can we just change the subject,’ Toshiro asked, ‘it’s been a year since I last saw you and I don’t want to discuss my shortcomings anymore in relation to trying to get the world’s most attractive woman.’

Ichigo looked like he was on the verge of saying something more but eventually sighed and nodded settling himself back down on the bed. He gently patted the top of the covers and Toshiro raised an eyebrow at him but walked over to join his friend regardless anyway.

‘I was hoping to see you in person anyway sometime soon because,’ he smiled gently at Toshiro, ‘I wanted to formally invite you to be one of my best men at my wedding.’

Toshiro practically jumped up from the bed, his feet getting caught and Ichigo saving him from stumbling to the floor.

‘Are you serious?’ Toshiro laughed as he composed himself and glared at the bed, he didn’t like these covers.

‘Yes, I’m going to have my dad walk me down the aisle, obviously and Chad will be there too but wanted you by my side when Renji and I tie the knot.’ He looked incredibly happy and excited and Toshiro couldn’t help but be infected with it as well.

‘I’d love too,’ he agreed finally. He tried to push thoughts away of Rangiku seeing him, he’d come up with something later for it. ‘Do I get to do a speech?’ he asked with a grin and Ichigo groaned.

‘Yes but don’t embarrass me please, I actually want Renji to stick around,’ he laughed and Toshiro felt a little lighter.

The conversation swapped onto the wedding and the plans as Toshiro packed his things away. It had been so good to see Ichigo again and Toshiro hadn’t realised how much he’d missed him until he was hugging him farewell in the lobby.

‘Take care of yourself Ichigo and take care of Rangiku too,’ he muttered into the tall males chest.

‘I will, look after yourself Toshiro and remember that any woman would be lucky to have you in their life, don’t ever let anything like height stop you,’ he whispered.

Then Toshiro was gone off into the evening air of New York City, going over the whirlwind that was his mind right now and wondering when he’d hear from Rangiku.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying please don't forget to review! 
> 
> Also check out Geishaaa's fic which is written from Rangiku's POV!


	4. The Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please make sure you read Geishaaa's side of the fic to get the whole story! And enjoy!

Toshiro wanted to reach out, desperately wanted to reach out but the more he thought about it the more he found he struggled. What did he say without it coming across like he knew something had happened? What if she figured it out in his language or the way he mentioned something, could he casually ask how she was? Would she want to talk about it? Toshiro sat and debated for a while, trying to work out what he'd say. He had to trust he could do this objectively and he knew that Ichigo hadn't told her, the Strawberry had not made it seem that Rangiku had figured out Toshiro’s identity.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:12am**

**How is everything going?**

**Matsumoto 10:15am**

**That depends, is the T in T.H. for Tosh?**

He stared at the word on the screen for a very, very long time, panic rising in his chest and the same sensation of bile rising in the back of his throat. It hadn't really crossed his mind that she'd have worked out who he was by him throwing wine all over Gin. Of course Ichigo had shouted his name out but of course Ichigo would have said to him if Rangiku had clicked onto the fact it was him... surely? Surely? They'd been in the same room last night.

He was freaking out, he could feel his chest rising and falling, did she see him? Did she know what he looked like now? He needed to know but... but he didn't at the same time.

Hesitantly he reached out with shaking fingers and began to type.

 

**Mr Hyorinamru 10:18am**

**That um, would be correct.**

He couldn't lie, it felt wrong. He had promised to protect her he wasn't going to lie... he couldn't. He just couldn't do that to her.

 

**Matsumoto 10:20am**

**Well then you know how things are going.**

**Brilliant wine toss, btw**

**Matsumoto 10:21am**

**Thanks** **❤**

Toshiro calmed a little at the next message, he was still visibly stressed wondering if she'd seen him but the fact that she wasn't pushing the topic made him feel better. He grinned at the thought of the wine toss and had to scoff a little to himself.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:21am:**

**Thanks, I wasn't planning on doing anything, just keeping an eye on Gin, but when he... well yeah I had to intervene. I'm sorry if any wine got on you or you got hurt in anyway it all happened so fast.**

He took a deep breath and exhaled. Did he just outright ask? Was his identity still hidden? He sat for a minute, writing a message and then retracting it, writing it and retracting it. He had to know, it was eating him up inside.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:23am:**

**So you've seen me?**

**Matsumoto 10:24am**

**I wish. I’m still trying to remember what happened tbh. Everything happened so fast.**

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:25am:**

**Well that's good. It's probably not an event you want to remember.**

He sighed with relief, she hadn't seen him and she seemed fine that he'd been there. This was going better than he'd expected, she'd have mentioned sooner if she'd worked out it was him or she'd seen him. He felt his heart rate slowing down to a more manageable level as he peered out the hotel window. They were meant to be working on their cosplay for the next day but this had to be dealt with before he could focus, he turned back towards the bed where his costume was sat, he just needed to work out what to do with his hair.

Pleased that Rangiku wouldn't lie about seeing him, he stood up and examined his hair in the mirror, maybe a haircut would make things a little easier to work with?

 

**Matsumoto 10:29am**

**Hmm well I’m done thinking about Gin. Hit me with a new topic: what are you doing today? I assume you haven’t escaped the country yet.**

He was staring at a picture of the Joker frowning when his Skype let off another notification, he glanced at the screen for a moment before glancing back at the mirror. The great thing about having white hair was that dying it any colour came easily, though he'd only use temporary dyes most of the time. Yukio had found fantastic dyes that acted like shampoos and you out it in and run a brush through it, very clever were the people in the hair dying industry.

Nerves mostly squashed he turned his attention back to his computer.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:34am**

**No not yet, I'm attending an event tomorrow so most of today is preparation for that.**

He was sure there may have been an alternative point to her message, that maybe she wanted to meet. After all you only asked someone what they were doing because you wanted to fill a bit of their time with something yourself. However that would be illogical, she knew that he kept himself hidden. Unless she thought that him being so close to protect her was his way of saying he wanted to meet?

He quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind but he felt the steady return of his nerves as he waited for her to reply.

 

**Matsumoto 10:35am**

**Oh? Which event? Ichigo and I are going sightseeing today (work related, of course). I’ve heard the view from the top of the Empire State Building is just wonderful, especially at sunset. Have you been up there before?**

The message came through and he winced, of course she'd ask after the event. He hesitated, there were two conventions running this time, one was an anime convention and one was a gaming convention, it would be too obvious as to which he was attending if he said a convention. He privately cursed himself for being so open with her before, she'd maybe work it out considering he'd mentioned his convention doings in other chats. Alas, he also didn't want to lie... but if he outright denied her the information then it would likely upset her. It was clear she was now trying to meet... or maybe see him.

He glanced over at his Joker cosplay and felt his face heat up.

No way, she wasn't seeing him look so ridiculous. Not in a million years.

He decided to be as honest as he could.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:38am:**

**I'd tell you but I'm then worried you'll find me. I want to be clear, I came to keep an eye on you, to protect you but my intention was to never have you see me.**

**Not that I'd ever have stood by and watch Gin do what he was about to do without intervening, Ichigo there or not. Going back, I'd do what I did over and over again even if you did spot me.**

He hesitated, his fingers away from the keys for a moment as he quickly re read what he'd typed.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 10:39am:**

**But that being said, you didn't see me and I don't have any intention of changing that. I still wish to remain hidden. I’m sorry, I hope you understand?**

He hit enter and hoped...

Five minutes passed…

Ten minutes passed…

He started to freak out.

Then…

 

**Matsumoto 11:01am**

**Yes, I understand.**

The message did nothing to quell his concerns. Instead they only intensified, he stared at his Skype screen and felt his heart clench in his chest. She was angry with him and he wasn’t really sure what to do.

He didn’t want to ask Yukio because his methods weren’t what he was going for and he didn’t really want to bring Rukia into this. He did the only thing he knew; he Googled it.

_‘What to do when a girl is mad at you.’_

He tossed it into Google and read the top searches. The advice seemed to be to apologise, but he technically already had, there would be no point in doing that again.

Write an apology letter? Cute, but somehow he didn’t think that seeing his slanted sloppy handwriting would help the situation.

Tell her you love her, was the next great suggestion and he felt his cheeks heat up. No definitely not, not now or ever, she’d likely laugh at him. Well okay maybe he knew enough about her that she wouldn’t laugh at him, she’d likely acknowledge his feelings and then gently let him down. She’d just encountered her ex-boss who had raped her and tried his luck again. She didn’t want to date another CEO who thought she was pretty, especially not someone like him.

He wasn’t anything like Gin and he knew she knew that but he was hardly the kind of image one would have of a ‘man’. He wasn’t tall, he could provide sure but he wasn’t a ‘protector.’ Despite him taking some self-defence lessons for the very reason of him carrying around a lot of money and being a prime target because of his height and weak appearance, it didn’t help him here.

Rangiku was stunning, tall, she deserved the best. Better than him and he knew it.

There was no point in pursuing something that wasn’t going to go anywhere, it was time to protect himself. Seeing her was hard enough, she was so pretty and he wanted to be with her so bad, it made things harder.

He sat with his head in his hands for a moment before he glanced back up at the screen, it said to give her space and time next. Maybe that was good idea, maybe they both needed some time apart? He could throw himself into the cosplay for tomorrow, but that would only take up so much of his time. He sighed and began to work his way through his emails. He took a few calls and ignored the invite to go out to dinner with Yukio and Rukia, making up the excuse he had to work. Instead he found himself doing a mini workout in his hotel room just to try and work off some of the horrible emotions that were welling up inside him.

He hated this. He hated that he’d made her angry and he couldn’t fix it. He hated that he cared about her so much and he couldn’t even stand a chance. He hated it all.

By the time he fell asleep that night he was restlessly tossing and turning, different scenarios and ideas playing out in his head. He could send her flowers to apologise? Was that cheesy? He was already doing that…

It felt like his restless mind was doing everything in its power to stop him sleeping properly, meaning that as soon as his alarm went off he could add sleep deprived to his list of annoyances; hunger and heartbroken being the other two.

He sighed and knocked off his alarm, it was ridiculously early because of how long it would take him to get changed. He heard a knock at his door and groaned.

‘Let me in Toshiro, this stuff looks weird to be carrying around outside,’ Yukio hissed and Toshiro grinned. It felt weird on his face; but his best friend had a natural way of drawing it out. He walked over to the door and opened it.

When they’d spoken about going as Black Butler characters, Yukio had been forced to cosplay this time. He wasn’t overly happy with it, given the character of Alois Trancy wore stockings. Toshiro was happy, if he had to look ridiculous the least they could do was do it together. Rukia followed almost immediately after, her cosplay of Ciel Phantomhive tucked into bags.

It gave Toshiro the distraction he needed, between getting their hair dyed and trying to help Yukio into a pair of stockings with low cut shorts that showed off a little more than Rukia had been prepared to see, he was able to push Rangiku from his thoughts.

‘This bow is ridiculous,’ Yukio scowled at himself in the mirror, Toshiro smirked. He had to wear one as well but thankfully his tied into his whole ridiculous outfit.

‘Yes it is, not as ridiculous as those stockings though,’ Toshiro muttered, ‘actually you’d make a good cross dresser.’

‘I will _hurt_ you,’ Yukio hissed at him.

Rukia was able to help Toshiro with his eye makeup, darkening his eyes after he popped his contacts in then painting the teardrop down his face. The blue makeup stood out beautifully against his white skin and the subtle off ginger colour of his hair.

By the time the three of them were ready even Toshiro had to admit they looked good. It had taken them nearly two hours to get fully ready, next to costume malfunctions, hair issues and accessories the biggest pain for Toshiro had to be the extensive amount of fake ear piercings he had to put in. Then he and Rukia had sat for a good forty minutes while she painted his right hand to resemble a skeletons hand.

They snapped a couple of images and Toshiro was actually debating adding it to his pin board on the plane, given that right now he looked nothing at all like his usual self so no one would really know. Then they were making their way down to the reception of the hotel, only receiving a few funny looks from other guests. The staff didn’t bat an eyelid for they were not the only group dressed up for the convention. Actually by the time they got down to the lobby there were several groups of cosplayers all talking animatedly about the conventions, the two were local and some apparently had tickets for both, hitting one for one half of the day and the other the other half of the day.

They piled into a taxi and the taxi was soon off taking them to their venue. Thanks to Yukio they got priority entry through the back of the venue, the same way as the stalls and other guests would. It gave Rukia and Toshiro a chance to see the place before it became completely mobbed with people.  

As Yukio was taken away for a briefing of the day including his time table, Toshiro and Rukia went around to scope out the event. The massive hall stretched out the size of two football pitches, with a high rise roof and several air cooling units that the cosplayers would be incredibly thankful for. The entire place had rolled in carpets stuck down with tape over the harsh slated flooring and the more popular stalls had their own signs hanging down from the ceiling.

The duo skilfully avoided their own stall set up in the arena, not that anyone would recognise them in the cosplay but Rukia made a frequent back at the company and so they’d likely know her voice. Unlike Toshiro who’s voice sounded very little to his Skype voice. Actually in real life, his voice didn’t sound as deep, but they avoided it anyway. They briefly checked out the Game Station stall as it was being set up and went to help a girl from the Artists Alley who was having difficulties with some branding boards.

Soon Yukio caught back up to them and explained his time table.

It seemed he had most of the morning off which was great, hardly anyone would recognise him and no one would be expecting him to cosplay, then he was going to have to do a panel with other gaming youtuber’s in full cosplay which just made Toshiro so happy. That was followed up by three hours’ worth of pictures and autographs which he’d likely have to remove the cosplay to do considering he didn’t much look like himself but they’d apparently get a feel for it at the panel because Yukio never dressed up and his fans may like it and want a photo that way.

Happy with the schedule the three decided to go and grab a quick bite to eat. Toshiro managed to eat an entire sandwich before his stomach started bubbling uncomfortably.

‘Remember what the doctor said?’ Rukia muttered as Toshiro put down the muffin he’d bought too.

‘Yes I know,’ Toshiro hung his head a little.

He was technically still growing. When he went to visit the family doctor she’d measured him and he was still growing. She’d put it down to a lack of real nutrition and stress from work as to why the process was lasting so long.

‘You’re always complaining about your height,’ Rukia muttered to him, ‘but you can fix it if you just eat a little more.’

‘We’re worried about you Tosh,’ Yukio muttered leaning across the table towards him, ‘Rukia thinks you have an eating disorder.’

Toshiro scowled at her and she scowled back at Yukio.

‘Shut up Yukio, you didn’t need to out me like that.’

‘I don’t Rukia,’ Toshiro sighed and the young Ciel glared at him.

‘Can you blame me? You don’t eat with us anymore, we don’t even see you getting room service, you’ve lost a lot of weight Toshiro it’s unhealthy and you were never exactly the beastly man before all this started happening. Just, talk to us?’ she asked in a voice so sincere.

Toshiro glanced to Yukio who raised his eyebrows at him.

‘I will,’ he said unwrapping his muffin to get her off his back, ‘when I’m ready.’

‘Okay,’ she breathed a sigh of relief and sat back as Toshiro began to pick at the muffin. They turned the conversation onto a happier topic and Toshiro was glad as he was sitting there trying not to feel incredibly guilty that his stupid little broken heart and bruised ego had led his friends to believing he had an eating disorder.

Once finished with food they were happily enveloped in a sea of other cosplayers, everyone cosplaying anime to gaming characters to comic book heros and back again. It was a delight and Toshiro found himself smiling, posing for pictures with other con goers and taking a few pictures himself of the more extravagant outfits. Some people really went all out at these events and for this day today he could be someone other than himself.

They found a few other cosplayers who were dressed as Black Butler characters including a Sebastian; accent and all. They took a few pictures together and moved on. The entire time Yukio wasn’t recognised just because of a simple change in hair colour and contact lenses.

‘This must be what it feels like to be _normal.’_ He hissed after another forty minutes of walking around the gaming centre. ‘I don’t like it.’

They sat and watched an interview with one of the voice actors for Overwatch and tried their best to keep Yukio from beating ten year olds on the latest Mario Kart game that was out for demo at the event.

Soon duty called and they walked into one of the panel rooms. This was different though, instead of being rows and rows of just seats, there were seats and tables down the front and towards the back higher up were just rows of seats, like an oddly presented theatre room. Toshiro and Rukia quickly took up a table at the back left corner and watched as everyone filtered into the room. There were so many bodies and soon the room was mostly full except for a few spare seats at the back. The panel began and a few big name gaming youtubers came out, the only two to get any noticeable applause though were Yukio and Jacksepticeye. It was weird watching Yukio be star struck.

‘So I know it was a last minute change, unfortunately James Nintendo Nerd wasn’t able to make the panel today,’ the host (who was dressed like Captain America) said. ‘However Sean also known as Jacksepticeye was in tour here in New York City and we managed to grab him.’

Yukios face was priceless and Rukia and Toshiro laughed.

They laughed because Yukio was meeting Sean, an inspiration of his for years, in stockings.

It was the best thing ever and Toshiro sat with a massive grin on his face for the next fifty minutes of the panel. None of the other panel members were dressed up and Yukio just looked ridiculous on stage. Eventually the question section came and of course, naturally people directed questions to Yukio.

‘Are you cosplaying as Alois from Black Butler?’ a keen fan asked and Yukio sighed.

‘Yes, my _friends’_ idea of a joke, but they look just as ridiculous as I do,’ he said it and fired a look their way. Rukia and Toshiro gave little condescending waves and Yukio stuck his middle finger up at them.

Toshiro could make this worse, he could make this way, way worse. He stuck his hand in the air for a question and was quite pleased when he was picked. Yukio’s face looked drained of colour when he spotted who the microphone had been given to.

‘My question is for Sean,’ Toshiro said cheerfully.

‘Stand up, we can’t see you,’ Yukio teased at him and Toshiro resisted sticking his finger up at his best friend because what he was about to do was so much better. He did stand though and Sean smiled over at him as if only now recognising where the voice was coming from.

‘Sean, Yukio is a huge fan of yours, massive in fact I do believe you’re on his list of men he’d turn gay for.’

Yukio was literally dying in his seat and Toshiro loved it.

‘So my question is what do you think of his stockings?’ he asked and handed the microphone back to the staff member. The audience were laughing hysterically and Toshiro couldn’t get his phone out quick enough to capture the blush on Yukio’s face. He only hoped someone at the front had filmed it for youtube and he’d be able to find the clip and play it over and over and over again.

‘Well I must admit I am a little turned on by the stockings,’ Sean said with a very good natured wink in Yukio’s direction. ‘Though I’m not really into blonds, more a brunette guy but I’d love to collab with Yukio if he keeps the stockings on.’

The audience started laughing and wolf whistling and in that moment Toshiro could practically hear the delicate tapping of internet fan fiction writers everywhere covering every possible scenario on the back of this panel.

After a few more questions it was clear the panel was coming to an end.

‘Who would rather get a picture taken with Yukio in cosplay?’ the host asked and the whole audience cheered, meaning that for the next three hours of photos and autographs, Yukio was wearing the cosplay.

Eventually Sean ended the panel by asking for a massive selfie with the audience in the background. Overall the panel had been adorably humorous and had lifted Toshiro’s spirits immensely. At the very end Yukio and Sean stood speaking on stage for a while as most of the fans filtered out the room, quite a few people remained behind and eventually Yukio jumped down off the stage as Sean made his way backstage.

He approached Toshiro and glared at him. Toshiro was already standing and keeping the table between them with a massive grin on his face.

‘Sean just saw you in stockings,’ he laughed and Yukio literally tried to launch himself across the table at him. Toshiro bolted just out of his reach cackling in his best impression of the Joker.

‘I’ll murder you,’ Yukio hissed and Rukia stood up to try and hold Yukio back.

‘No you won’t,’ Toshiro was smiling, ‘he’ll remember you now, he seems like a cool guy.’

‘He is a cool guy!’ Yukio glared.

‘What did you two talk about?’ Rukia asked clearly trying to change the subject.

‘We’re going to be doing a collab video together when we go back to Ireland.’ He glared at Toshiro who smirked back.

‘Are you going to wear the stockings?’

Yukio almost snapped and Toshiro had to make a quick exit with Rukia hot in tow behind him.

 

All in all it had been the distraction that Toshiro had needed, they followed Yukio out of the theatre and back into the main convention hall. The entire building was bustling with people and the air conditioning units were mentally being worshiped by those in tight costumes and large heavy jackets. Toshiro and Rukia wove in and out of people following behind Yukio who made his way to the signing area and photography area that had been set up.

There was already a large queue of screaming fans and every single person that approached Yukio complimented his cosplay. Toshiro and Rukia stood by for a while chatting to some of the staff members about their con experience so far and watching as fan after fan approached their friend. Toshiro enjoyed watching Yukio interact with others, he was natural. Funny and charming, the smile never slipped from his face even once, despite some fans being a bit creepy or too full on, he stayed professional the entire time and Toshiro envied him so much. He wished he could be cool and collected when it came to meeting people, instead he usually made a fool of himself, another reason why he refused to meet Rangiku in person.

Knowing his luck he’d trip over something and end up in her cleavage and it would just be the most embarrassing thing ever.

‘You okay?’ Rukia asked and Toshiro put on a smile and nodded. She didn’t look convinced but dropped the topic as the continued to watch Yukio who was now hugging a small girl who had given him a picture she’d drawn.

He almost missed the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket because of everything going on around them.

Pulling the device out he smiled when he saw the name on his phone screen and pressed his finger against his home button to unlock the device.

His heart stopped as he read the message.

 

**Matsumoto 16:33pm**

**It’s over :P**

**I found you.**

**I saw you ask a question at Yukio’s panel, that’s some cute Black Butler cosplay you have going on, your question to Yukio made me laugh.**

**He looks good in stockings.**

Toshiro swallowed, his heart hammering in his chest as it was followed up with an image of Rangiku and Ichigo in cosplay.

She hadn’t mentioned that she was planning to go to a convention, but he pushed that thought aside as the overwhelming sensation crushed at his heart; she’d seen him. She’d seen him dressed in a Joker cosplay. He felt physically sick, he felt honestly so sick.

As if on cue another message came through.

 

**Matsumoto 16:35pm**

**And you’re not that short btw!**

It was followed by an onslaught of emojis.

He felt sick, he quickly excused himself away from a worried Rukia and made his way to the nearest male bathroom. He felt like her eyes were on him from every single angle in that convention hall and hysteria was rising up in his throat. He only just made it into one of the cubicles in time as he retched over the toilet seat.

Panic and anxiety worse than he’d ever felt it before twisted in his gut, spilling a horrible feeling into his stomach and causing the horrific reaction. He tried desperately to keep the lunch he’d had down, knowing that he’d barely been eating enough as it were. His whole mouth was filling with saliva in preparation for the vomit he was trying so desperately not to toss up.

When his shaky hands could work enough to press buttons without it looking like he was drunk he quickly typed out a reply.

In the middle of an anxiety attack was probably not the best time to respond to her messages.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:52pm**

**You stalked me?**

**Matsumoto 16:52pm**

**Maybe a little :P  
So can we meet now? **

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:53pm**

**No.**

His anxiety was turning to anger, twisting hot and coiling in his gut. She’d actually gone out of her way to try and find him, something he didn’t think she’d ever do, knowing and understanding how he felt about his appearance and his privacy.

 

**Matsumoto 16:55pm**

**I’m beginning to think you actually don’t want to be in my company, which is just so shocking to me because I actually thought we were friends.**

**I thought if I could come and see you and explain that your size is not an issue that you’d want to meet, forgive me Captain but I’m actually a bit pissed off.  
Why don’t you want to meet me? **

How did someone with such bad anxiety and such little self esteem explain how he was feeling? He wasn’t good with his words at the best of time.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 16:57pm**

**If you were really my friend you’d have respected my privacy.**

He knew it was probably something he was going to regret, after the anxiety wore off and he was able to think about this more logically but for now he was so angry, confused and devastated. He couldn’t believe… something like that had happened, he’d been so careless. He should have avoided the convention. He should have stayed in and not come. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with her in the first place.

He couldn’t stand just being friends with her, it was too much for him and it was all she wanted and he couldn’t do that to himself and it hurt.

He curled into a little defensive ball in the bathroom floor and tried to keep it together, trying his best to breathe properly and even out his breaths. He hated this, he hated it so much. He couldn’t go and see her because she was everything he couldn’t have and it hurt him. He was better keeping her at arm’s length to have her close now would just crush him. He was too self-conscious, too easily hurt and not good enough.

 

**Matsumoto 17:02pm**

**Wow. Okay.  
Consider your message landed. We’re not friends, but I don’t appreciate how little you think of me. **

Reading the sentence was like sending little blades digging into his heart with every word. He was being unreasonable and he knew it but he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t brave enough to not push her away, pushing people away was all he knew.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 17:04pm**

**What do you mean?**

**Matsumoto 17:04pm**

**That you actually think so little of me, after all you’ve learned, that all you think I care about is what you look like.**  
But noted. I won’t bother you again.   


He felt the cold sweat trickle down his back, his mouth dry where he’d been retching before and the cold clammy feel of his hands against his phone and he re-read her message over and over. It was too much of a farewell and he hated it. He squeezed his eyes tight shut and felt a stabbing in his chest, it felt like a blade was piercing its way through his heart, removing it out slowly and crushing his lungs in the process.

He sat on the cold floor for a lot longer than he intended. Eventually Rukia asking where he’d run off, he was forced to move. He stood on his shaking legs and made his way out of the bathroom. The feeling of shock settling into a weird hallow feeling in his chest as he made his way through the crowds of people that literally felt like they were moving in slow motion. At one point he realised he wasn’t even walking in the right direction and had to turn around confusing the people who had been walking just behind him. He made his way back to the booths where autographs were happening and saw Yukio grinning at him and Rukia waving him over.

‘Are you okay you look a bit pale?’ she asked narrowing her eyes.

‘He always looks like that,’ Yukio said laughing but the two did exchange a look that didn’t go unnoticed by Toshiro.

The rest of the con seemed to drag on and though his heart had been ripped from his chest he did his best to put a smile on his lips and blend in with his friends. It was like acting a part, he was acting. That’s what he kept telling himself for the day, he was playing the part of Joker, nothing else, no one else.

Though when they went back to the hotel he made his excuses to skip dinner and made his way up to his hotel room. When the last pieces of his cosplay fell away and he was left staring into the mirror as just Toshiro the crushing weight hit him.

This was his fault, his fault for allowing his feelings to get so involved in Rangiku. What happened when you relied on someone almost entirely for your own happiness that the things that made you happy before they came along didn’t anymore. He crushed his eyes shut, his hands gripping the side of the porcelain sink as he tried to regulate his breathing. He’d heard about heartbreak before and had never really understood why it could cause such severe issues such as depression, eating disorders and even cardiac arrest.

He understood now.

His heart didn’t feel like it was beating properly, it felt like every second or third beat was trying to force itself up out his throat. He wasn’t sure if this was normal or not but was too scared to leave the bathroom to google the symptoms for fear of the bile rising back in his throat again. Instead he stood in the bathroom for what felt like an hour.

Then his brain seemed to take over, coaxing him gently out of his stupor and into autopilot. He removed his underwear and went for a quick shower, the water feeling scolding hot against his skin. He stood under the flow until his face felt numb and his spikes started to obey the laws of physics.

Climbing into bed that night he curled himself into a very tight ball and crushed a pillow into his face, he was never one to cry but never did he feel so close to tears than he did in that moment. He hadn’t tried to reach out to Rangiku again, nor did he think he could. He didn’t think there was a single thing he could say to make any of this better he had to just believe that maybe they could move by this and one day go back to being just friends? Or maybe just employer and employee? He felt another stab at his heart at the thought.

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night and his dreams seemed as dark and as bleak as the day had been.

 

That whole week, he threw himself into his work. Things had been gathering up since his exchanges with Rangiku had started so he had plenty to keep himself focused and busy. They also left New York City, travelling to Amsterdam in time for another big convention. He was hoping the distance would make things easier, because he had an illogical fear of walking out of the hotel in New York City and running into Rangiku and Ichigo who were likely out sightseeing.

All he had on his phone were text messages from Ichigo apologising profusely for what had occurred but Toshiro would never ever blame his friend. It was his own fault for getting involved, for allowing his feelings to grow, for flying out to New York City and attending the same event. It was all his fault. He’d accepted Ichigo’s apology and spent quite the bit of time trying to convince Ichigo he wasn’t to blame.

The rainy days in Amsterdam did little to help him and Toshiro knew that Rukia and Yukio were worried about him because the two seemed to be dragging him out of his hotel room from time to time, they’d also sit and watch him eat as if assuming he wasn’t going to.

Exactly a week after the incident he sat down at his desk, eyeing his screen and set about ordering the three roses to be delivered to Rangiku. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it, perhaps because she may still be expecting it or perhaps in the hopes that maybe it may amend their friendship. He scanned a hand written note to be printed and included with the order, just two words; ‘I’m Sorry. T. H x’

In the hope that maybe, maybe it would be enough to patch up the hole he’d opened in their relationship.

He kept his phone on loud through the night and shot awake as soon as a message came through. Finding the hotel lamp switch was difficult in the dark, the hotel rooms in Amsterdam were older fashioned, high ceilinged and pitch black at night. Once he located the switch he flicked the light on and quickly grabbed for his phone. His heart sank at the message waiting for him.

 

**Matsumoto 02:13am**

**I don’t want flowers, I just wanted to meet you.**

It was a simple message and she had asked for the one thing he refused to give her. Even then, even now he could feel the anxiety flaring up in his chest.

 

**Mr Hyorinmaru 02:15am**

**I am sorry, it’s the one thing I can’t give you.**

**Matsumoto 02:15am**

**Then I’ve nothing more to say.**

He clung to his phone and huddled himself into a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible. Maybe if he did that he could just disappear. For some reason his own mind seemed to be poisoning his thoughts, stopping him from telling her the truth. How many people understood what anxiety was, what it meant and how it worked? There was still a massive stigma around it.

Instead he did his best to try and sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, if you're following this story and enjoying it please remember to leave us a comment!!!


	5. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toshiro starts to deal with his crippling anxiety and finally opens up to his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter touches on some issues some people may be uncomfortable reading such as Anxiety, medication, eating disorders etc. If you're not happy with it feel free to skip it and just read the story from Rangiku's perspective which can be found in the correlating fic written by my amazing friend Geishaaa.

‘We’re just going to start slow,’ the soothing voice instructed. Toshiro tried his best not to fidget with the hem of his shirt, ‘why are you here today?’

‘Because my friends are worried about me,’ Toshiro said instantly, like his answer had been well thought over.

‘Is that the only reason?’ the man was older than Toshiro, in his mid-forties with slightly greying hair. He had a sharp chin and his other features seemed just as sharp; his nose and even his eyes, which stared at Toshiro over the top of a pair of spectacles, perched on the end of his nose. He had long slender legs that were crossed and his hands rested on the arms of the old leather armchair, the tips of his long fingers touching as he calculated Toshiro with a gaze.

‘Yes,’ Toshiro said instantly.

‘I see,’ he brought the hands up to his face and stared at Toshiro for a moment. Toshiro broke the stare first, turning to look away. ‘Talk to me about your friends. Why do they worry?’

‘Because I wasn’t eating,’ he sighed, it was pathetic. After a few months of not really feeling up to eating much food, Rukia (who had gone back to Japan to take care of a couple of things in the office) had come back and demanded he see a doctor.

Yukio had practically forced his shirt off him in a humiliating display and that’s when Toshiro realised maybe he was a tad underweight. It wasn’t that he was avoiding food or had an eating disorder he just had a broken heart disorder.

‘My friends are kind, they’re dramatic which is probably why I’m here but they’re good people, they care about me.’

‘You don’t think you have an unhealthy relationship with food?’ he asked.

‘No, I just work so hard I forget to eat,’ Toshiro shrugged and the man considered him for a moment.

‘Do you ever lie to people close to you?’ he asked.

‘I-’ he’d been about to say he didn’t but actually… when he stopped and considered it for a while. He did. He’d lied on so many occasions including not telling his friends what was really going on. His throat constricted for a moment and he looked at the ground.

‘There,’ he said leaning forward, ‘right there, tell me what you were thinking.’

He didn’t want to.

If he opened up to this therapist then that would be admitting what was going on his life and he didn’t want to deal, didn’t want to face it.

‘Toshiro,’ he said gently and he glanced up to meet the man’s kind blue eyed gaze, ‘I promise I only want to help you, but I can’t do that unless you let me.’ He nodded his head.

‘It’s not the food that’s the problem,’ Toshiro sighed finally, ‘I lost someone important to me recently.’

‘A family member?’ he asked.

‘No, someone else,’ he hung his head again breaking the eye contact.

‘A romantic partner?’

‘Yes but she,’ he hesitated, ‘we weren’t compatible so we weren’t actually ever dating but I…’ he trailed off.

‘You what?’

‘Still loved her,’ he felt the lump back in his throat again.

‘Tell me about her.’

‘We met at the beginning of the year, really silly actually because we didn’t meet in person.’ Toshiro started and as soon as he’d started he found it was easier to just keep going. He told the therapist everything about falling in love with Rangiku, following her to New York City protecting her from Gin, running away from the scene and refusing to meet with her. He told him everything.

The therapist made small notes in a pad as they went but for the most part his eyes were focused entirely on Toshiro. Not once did he interrupt him or ask another question, when Toshiro paused for a moment or two he never pressed on, simply let Toshiro talk in his own time at his own pace.

‘There’s a lot happening there, that I want to address Toshiro,’ he said, ‘but first let’s talk about why you were referred to me. Do you know what your doctor report stated?’

‘No?’ he asked trying not to feel apprehensive about circling back around to the food topic. It was obviously a much bigger deal than he needed to be dealing with right now.

‘You were referred to me because your doctor thought it could be an eating disorder. She did express she was sure it wasn’t an intentional one but that’s usually how most start, so tell me about that doctors appointment please.’

It had not been a comfortable visit.

\---

Toshiro’s name was called and he was led into a room with the doctor he’d had since he was a child. After Rukia had come back and she and Yukio had confronted him about his eating issue they dragged him back to Japan. It was time to return anyway, considering Ichigo’s wedding was going to be in a month and they wanted to be close to help him prepare.  

That’d been their excuse anyway.

Toshiro smiled at his doctor as he sat down in front of her. She’d been the doctor his Gran had as well, the doctor Momo still went too. She was a short woman with beautifully pleated long brown hair and large intelligent brown eyes.

‘It’s good to see you Toshiro,’ she smiled warmly at him and he smiled back.

‘Let’s just check the standard things shall we?’ she took his blood pressure, checked his heart, his breathing then got him up to check height.

‘You’ve grown an inch since I last saw you,’ she smiled at him and marked it down.

‘Wish I’d grow more than that,’ he huffed out then she made him step on the scales.

‘164cm isn’t that short,’ she smiled at him, ‘you’re the same height as me,’ she noted and Toshiro wasn’t sure how that was meant to make him feel any better.

As she looked down at his weight she pursed her lips and wrote on his sheet.

The numbers read simply at 95lbs which was roughly 43kg.

After that she asked him to remove his shirt and took a few measurements around his chest, waist, stomach and arms.

‘You’re very underweight Toshiro,’ she said finally and he flinched, ‘how have you been feeling?’

‘Tired,’ he admitted, which made sense. He’d barely slept since everything went down. She finally checked his eyes and asked a few more questions before making her diagnosis.

‘It’s very clear you’re anaemic which has probably been driven by your lack of proper nutrition.’ She pursed her lips as she looked at him, ‘what’s been going on, this isn’t like you.’

It took just a few moments and as he opened his mouth he felt the lump in his throat. The stinging behind his eyes was his only warning but there was nothing he could do to stop the onslaught of genuine emotion.

He burst into tears.

It was how he’d ended up in therapy two days after speaking with a nutritionist. 

\---

The therapist studied Toshiro for a while after he’d finished.

In hindsight he had let his relationship with food deteriorate since he’d started to uselessly pursue Matsumoto. He hung his head in shame. He could feel the tensing in his shoulders, his entire posture was stiff on the chair as the man considered him.

‘You’re very stressed for someone so young,’ he said finally. He knew all about what Toshiro did as a job, he was one of the best therapists that money could buy and so didn’t have a need to go running off to any of the papers. Toshiro was sure that he’d heard more secrets than just Toshiro’s own.

‘I have a very stressful job,’ Toshiro admitted. He enjoyed it, he loved working hard. He’d spent years building this company from the ground up. What had started as simple tinkering of taking other computers apart using parts to build his own had now become a fully-fledged company, ‘but I have a lot of amazing people around me each doing their own jobs and I trust them all.’

‘Just not enough to know what you look like?’ he asked and Toshiro winced.

‘It’s not that,’ he was fidgeting again, feeling very uncomfortable and exposed in his own skin.

‘Tell me about it then… because it sounds to me like this Rangiku liked you.’ He clasped his fingers and considered Toshiro for a moment.

‘No she didn’t,’ he huffed.

‘What makes you think so?’

‘If I showed you a picture you’d understand,’ Toshiro sighed.

‘Toshiro,’ he said taking his glasses off and leaning his pointed chin on his hand, ‘I’ve been doing my job for many years now. I know all the different types of human behaviours. I’ve studied every single person from sociopaths and psychopaths to some of the greatest creative minds in the world. Often the more creative and brilliant the mind, the more full of doubts and objections.’ He smiled kindly, ‘it is not uncommon, but there seems to be a block with you where you seem to be projecting your own feelings for your own appearance onto others. What are you going to do at this wedding where all the guests are from your work?’

‘I don’t know, dye my hair and pretend to be someone else?’ Toshiro could feel the knot of anxiety in his stomach even at the thought of it. It was something he’d kept pushing back to deal with later, but later was quickly becoming now.  

‘You don’t think they’ll all recognise your voice?’

‘I won’t do a speech or anything I’ll just-’

‘Toshiro,’ he said his name more firmly this time and Toshiro raised his head to meet his eyes, ‘tell me does Ichigo or Isshin, Yukio or Rukia have any quarrels about the way you look?’

‘No, but they’re all too polite to say anything-’

‘I know you don’t believe that.’

They stared at each other for a few moments and Toshiro deflated.

‘No, I know, they don’t care…’

‘What makes you think that Rangiku and the other people you work with will care? You’ve built up all these walls and walls do nothing but make us lonely. I’m not saying go flouncing yourself to the public. I’m just saying maybe start letting some more people in. You have a very serious lack of trust in others and you seem to project the worst of your own feelings onto others without ever giving them a chance.’

Toshiro listened to him and knew that he was speaking some kind of sense, but even the thought of it was giving him clammy hands.

‘There are things we can do to help the anxiety, for the start your doctor has given you some medicine to try. Have you tried them yet?’

‘No…’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t know…’

‘Because you’d rather avoid the situation than face it?’ again he hadn’t said it to be mean even if Toshiro did feel a stab through his chest. ‘Let’s turn these tables shall we. What if Rangiku had been the one hiding herself away because she was so upset by what had happened as a result of her own appearance. What would you say to her?’

‘I’d tell her she was beautiful and that it wasn’t her fault,’ he sighed.

‘Do you think she’d listen to you?’

‘Probably not…’

‘Now don’t you think it’s unfair for someone as kind as her to hide herself away from the world because she’s scared of her own appearance?’

‘Yes, but she looks different to me,’ Toshiro sighed.

‘Only you think about yourself the way you do Toshiro,’ he put his glasses back on and glanced down at the pen he now twirled between his long fingers. He was considerate for a moment before glancing back up and locking eyes with him, ‘do you know what I thought when you walked in?’

‘What?’ Toshiro glanced up, a little unsure but also curious…

‘I thought there’s a smartly dressed man who looks really sad,’ he smiled and he looked tired a bit older than he had before, ‘now I understand why. Toshiro let me let you in on a little secret…’ he glanced around and leaned forward. Despite it being a little childish Toshiro found himself leaning forward in his seat because he wanted so desperately to feel better about all this.

‘Do you know the most attractive feature every single person will tell you they love on another, in terms of physical appearance?’

‘What?’

‘A smile,’ as he said it he broke into a smile that made him look so much younger. His eyes crinkling at the side a little and Toshiro smiled shyly back. It seemed silly but… he thought about it. Everyone did look prettier when they smiled… even Rangiku sounded more beautiful when she was smiling and laughing down the phone at him.

Ichigo’s smile could light up the entire room even if his white teeth clashed with his orange hair there was something about that that made him more attractive.

Isshin always smiled, he was rarely without one and had the same crinkled eye edges that the therapist had… years of stories and laughter built into every line of his skin… stories of love and family.

Toshiro felt an ache in his chest.

‘Most humans don’t put a price on physical features, I promise you. I wouldn’t set you up to fail. If I thought that your physical appearance would hinder you in any way, then I would instantly tell you. You’re still growing, I even heard you’ve put a bit of weight on now.’

Toshiro nodded at that comment because he had put two pounds back on.

‘Humans deteriorate, we get wrinkles, we get grey hair, we shrivel up, there is no escaping getting older. People who only look for physical appearance in another will never be satisfied. Most look for other traits in life partners; loyalty, humility, kindness and compassion, these are features that never fade with age. ‘Would you be interested in Rangiku if she made fun of your friends, bitched about her work colleagues and was horrible to Ichigo?’

‘No,’ Toshiro flinched trying not to even imagine such a thing. Rangiku would never do that.

‘Exactly.’ He leaned forward, ‘so tell me again why she couldn’t like you.’

Toshiro didn’t have any other retort. It was true he’d been projecting his own feelings onto others without even giving them a fair chance. Giving someone a fair chance to judge him was terrifying and the safe cocoon he’d built for himself was always a source of comfort.

Still the idea of Rangiku even being remotely interested in him was a foreign concept, it just seemed so absurd but… was it really his decision to think that? Surely Rangiku herself deserved a right to judge it herself. The thought sent a stroke of fear through his chest, what if… what… what if, that was the anxiety talking, what if. He had to recognise that his anxiety would always pull the worst possible outcome, what if he met her and she truly didn’t care about what he looked like the way she had promised.

‘I think it’s time you open up and let people in. Don’t be ashamed to take your medication if you need to, even just to help you get started.’ He smiled and watched Toshiro in silent for a few moments, ‘baby steps Toshiro, I’m not saying do anything drastic, maybe just start with these friends of yours? Rukia and Yukio? Hm? Start with them and see where it goes?’

\---

That night Toshiro made his way home, back to his penthouse full of intent. He’d text Rukia to come over if she could and planned to finally talk to them.

He didn’t give himself a chance to think. To give his mind any free time would be to allow the anxiety to ramp up and he wasn’t willing for that to happen, not again. Instead he wiped down his bunkers, ignored Yukio’s offers for help and set about making cocktails for that night. When he looked at the time and realised he still had half an hour before Rukia was due over he even made a homemade pizza… or rather _attempted_ too.

‘That’ll be Rukia now,’ Yukio called throwing the door open and giving her a hug. Toshiro watched them with a smile. Rukia seemed genuinely enthralled by the random warm greeting before her eyes caught Toshiro.

‘You’re looking well Toshiro,’ she said with a smile.

‘I’ve been trying to fatten him up,’ Yukio laughed closing the door as they made their way into the living room. Toshiro ignored his jibe as he brought a tray of cocktails over to the sitting area.

‘Thank you Rukia,’ he said as the two of them settled down, Toshiro found that he couldn’t sit. He picked up one of the glasses and sipped on the mojito nervously.

‘Toshiro?’ Rukia asked breaking his daze, her eyes were soft and she was looking at him a little concerned, ‘is everything okay?’

‘Yes well,’ he could feel his hands shaking as he held his glass and hoped they didn’t notice, ‘I went to the doctors and… it went well. I mean, I’m seeing a therapist now…’

‘That’s good,’ Rukia brightened and Yukio nodded beside her, they were both sitting rather close together on the couch Toshiro noticed. ‘That’s really good Toshiro!’

‘Yeah,’ he hesitated, ‘part of my therapy is to start trusting people more and letting them in,’ he was staring down at his drink and even he could visibly see his hands shaking so he knew that they’d notice it too. They never said anything though which he was thankful for. ‘So I wanted to chat to you guys about what’s been going on.

‘I know you thought I’d developed an eating disorder… but actually it wasn’t that which caused me to lose weight,’ he finally looked up from his glass and the two were watching him full of attention with completely non-judgemental gazes. ‘It all started when Matsumoto was employed.’

‘I knew it,’ Yukio muttered but other than that he let Toshiro talk. Toshiro filled them in on the whole story as much as he could from his side, aware that Yukio knew part of it.

‘That’s probably around the time I just stopped eating,’ he finished glancing more to Rukia who was now sitting back in her chair with a faraway look in her eyes.

‘I knew something was going on, but I didn’t expect you to be battling so badly with yourself Toshiro. When we first started this company and you said you wanted to remain hidden I knew it was because of how you thought you looked, but I’d never have anticipated it would become so toxic to you,’ she frowned, ‘I only wish you’d have told me sooner so I could have helped sooner. Believe it or not I’m pretty good at knowing how women think,’ she smiled at him and he grinned back at her. His hands weren’t shaking so bad anymore.

‘As am I,’ Yukio grinned leaning over Rukia.

‘Please,’ she scoffed, ‘besides Toshiro it sounded to me like Rangiku did like you,’ she winked and Toshiro flushed.

‘That’s what I told him,’ Yukio threw his hands up in the air.

‘You _knew?’_ she glared at him like she’d just been slapped.

‘Well I saw a conversation on his Skype and she was flirting with him,’ Yukio laughed.

‘No she wasn’t,’ Toshiro could feel the blush spreading all over his face but he had relaxed a lot now, he felt so much better that the air was clear and he could talk more openly. Also the white rum most definitely was helping.

‘Toshiro no offence, but your experience with women is non-existent,’ Yukio said cruelly reminding him, ‘I’ve been with a couple-’

‘ _A couple_!?’ Rukia scoffed.

‘-and trust me, I know when a girl is flirting, she was flirting with you. You never notice when _any_ girl flirts with you, girls in the coffee shops especially. I’ve even seen a couple of guys flirt with you and you’ve been as equally totally oblivious.’

‘Like that guy at comic con dressed as superman?’ Rukia offered.

‘Aww mate, he was ready to tie you to his bedpost!’

‘There was the girl at the Starbucks in California who wrote her number on your cup and you assumed it was for Yukio,’ she rolled her eyes at him.

‘Look Toshiro I get it, Rangiku is incredibly attractive,’ Yukio smirked at him, ‘if its tips you want…’

‘Oh my god,’ Toshiro felt his face flush and he brought a hand up over his face to hide it from view while collapsing down into the chair opposite them.

‘I’m just saying I’ve learned a thing or two out in the field,’ he said quickly.

‘And of course I know a thing or two as well,’ Rukia said raising the glass to her lips.

Toshiro quickly diverted the topic by bringing over the homemade pizza.

‘You know I’m really glad you finally opened up to us about Rangiku,’ Rukia smiled, ‘it’s good to finally understand what’s been going on.’

‘Yes but not that much of it matters anymore,’ Toshiro sighed.

‘I wouldn’t say that, you did fuck up,’ she said quickly, ‘but you never know. As far as I was aware no one in the office mentioned about her seeing anyone so she’s still technically single…’

Toshiro hadn’t even entertained the thought that she’d maybe be dating someone else but even as Rukia said it he felt a stab at his heart and the familiar feeling of churning in his stomach. How would he have coped if she had started to date someone else?

‘So let’s talk about how we get you your girl,’ Yukio stated eventually.

‘No that’s over, she put the roses in the bin and-’ he said trying to convince them and himself one last time that it was useless.

‘No wonder,’ Rukia cut over him, ‘I’d have done the same. You really offended her and probably broke her heart too.’

Toshiro found it very difficult to imagine that someone like him could break Rangiku’s heart but he swallowed that retort down.

‘So we’ll have to surprise her,’ Rukia said smiling towards Yukio.

‘Yeah, something she wouldn’t expect,’

‘Out the blue,’

‘Like inviting her to Ichigo’s wedding?’

Toshiro choked on his drink.

‘Oh that’s a good idea,’ Rukia smiled at him which wasn’t fair because now Toshiro genuinely felt ganged up on.

‘That’s not a good idea,’ Toshiro snorted.

‘Why not?’ Yukio turned to frown at him.

‘Because she’d laugh at me,’ he waved a hand at himself and then Yukio started to look a bit pissed off.

‘Look Toshiro, I get that you have anxiety I really do, but anxiety doesn’t mean denying existence of truthful facts, you constantly seem to be denying truthful facts. Facts that we’ve proven to you over and over again, if you don’t want to believe them, fine but if anything at least trust us? We wouldn’t recommend you to do something if we didn’t think it would work.’

‘That’s great,’ Toshiro frowned, ‘relationship advice coming from you two,’ he rolled his eyes.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Rukia frowned.

‘I mean look at you,’ he waved a hand between them, ‘it’s like Ron and Hermione, are you just going to wait until the very end of the story to get together? Even I can see how much you two care about each other.’

‘What?’ Rukia was already going bright red but Yukio looked genuinely surprise.

‘Never mind forget I said anything,’ he sighed.

‘No, no, we’ll come back to that later,’ Yukio said leaning forward but not denying anything, ‘but we’re talking about you now. Look she isn’t going to accept you asking her over a Skype message. I’m not saying go and sweep her off her feet or anything, but I think you should call her and ask her out.’

‘She won’t listen to me,’

‘That’s true,’ Rukia said with a frown, ‘you really upset her, but I think if you opened up to her then she’d understand. Look you told us that she’d opened up to you. Made herself vulnerable and I know you couldn’t tell us the specifics without betraying her trust but whatever Gin did to her was obviously something very difficult for her to talk to you about. She’ll be feeling betrayed by her friend and also rejected by her romantic interest. If you want this to work, you’re going to have to open yourself up to her, a _lot_.’

Toshiro could already feel his heart rate picking up at the thought, they seemed to notice that because soon Rukia was by his side clasping his hand. He tried to focus on the feeling of her fingers on his to try and distract himself but she kept on speaking.  

‘Toshiro I don’t want to see you alone forever, you’re an amazing person and sometimes amazing people have to push themselves a little to get noticed. If this works, this could be the best thing that ever happened to you.’

‘And if it doesn’t?’ he asked quietly.

‘Then you can hide away again and we’ll understand,’ Yukio supplied, ‘but I genuinely think it’s worth it.’

They changed the topic after encouraging him to try and changed the topic to the latest office gossip. Toshiro even found himself eating some of the really crappy pizza he’d made earlier that night as they spoke. He tried to drown out his feelings with another drink and focusing entirely on the random banter that was being had between the two. He noticed how the conversation about their own relationship never circled back around but as he studied them, Yukio was looking at Rukia a little differently; more contemplatively.

\-----

Two weeks later Toshiro paced the office of his penthouse waiting for Ichigo. He’d just had the second biannual meeting and was going to use it as a chance to test the water with Rangiku. See how she’d respond to him, however it seemed she was off sick and had been signed off for a week. Ichigo had led the meeting for the marketing team and at the end of the call Toshiro asked Ichigo to pass along his well wishes. It had resulted in an immediate phone call.

‘What’s going on Toshiro?’ he asked.

‘Is Rangiku alright?’ he asked immediately.

‘She’s fine don’t worry it’s nothing serious, but what’s going on with you? Are you back in Japan now?’

‘Yeah I am,’ he halted the conversation there and requested a face to face visit. Ichigo was over the moon and decided to come over that night immediately after work. Yukio threw the door open before Toshiro could even get to it and hugged the tall strawberry around the middle.

‘It’s good to see you properly,’ Ichigo laughed walking inside and returning Yukio’s hug with just as much gusto. Toshiro laughed when the two boys started to sway together in the middle of the room the door still being open and Toshiro went to close it.

‘Do I need to tell Renji?’ he offered as they broke apart, ‘or Rukia?’

‘Rukia?’ Ichigo asked looking over to Toshiro a little confused, ‘why would Rukia care?’

‘Because I’m taking her to the wedding,’ Yukio said proudly and Ichigo turned to him looking a bit taken aback.

‘Wait, when did that happen?’ he asked.

‘About a week ago,’ Toshiro said rolling his eyes, ‘it’s about time too, they were driving me nuts.’

‘Don’t you dare lecture me about my love life Mr Rose,’ Yukio said waving a warning finger at him.

‘Okay,’ Ichigo pointed at Yukio, ‘you and I will speak about this soon for sure I want to hear all about it but for tonight.’ He thrust his thumb towards Toshiro, ‘he needs my help more than you do.’

‘Agreed, go and help him, maybe it’s not a total lost cause,’ Yukio sighed and Toshiro stuck his middle finger up at the both of them and wandered off to his room. Ichigo following obediently behind him, he let the strawberry in and made his way over to his desk where he sat on his desk chair.

Ichigo made himself right at home perched on Toshiro’s bed.

‘I didn’t want to talk over the phone, but… what’s going on?’

Toshiro quickly filled Ichigo in on the therapy sessions and his doctor’s appointment. Ichigo and Isshin were some of the first people to witness him having an anxiety attack so it wasn’t the first time he’d been open and honest with Ichigo. The strawberry knew just as much about him as Yukio and Rukia. Ichigo just nodded along with his story, his eyes only just skimming over Toshiro’s body for a moment. It felt good to talk about it with Ichigo again, the strawberry was emotionally high strung and things bothered him just as much as they bothered Toshiro making him a little more empathetic than Yukio.

‘Look I’m glad you’re trying to get your anxiety under control,’ he said after a moment, ‘but what happened with Rangiku, you just led her on then… what?’

Toshiro felt his face heat up, so Ichigo was admitting it too. Maybe he was wrong… maybe Rangiku did have feelings for him? He’d led her on… as he thought about it… maybe he had. If he’d been in her position and some guy had been sending him roses, especially red roses, he’d have taken that as romantic interest. He gritted his teeth against the feeling of nausea that came with his anxiety. Part of him had known it seemed romantic of course he did that’s why he did it but… then he had led her on and that made him feel worse. It was a reality he had to just accept. He just hadn’t expected that she’d have cared as much as she obviously had. 

‘I didn’t think…’

‘You didn’t think sending her roses and chatting to her about her nightmares would make her fall for you? Come now Toshiro even you’re not that stupid,’ he frowned at him and Toshiro swallowed.

‘I messed up,’ he admitted, now the realisation that actually… maybe Rangiku and him could have been together was devastating. The only thing that had stopped him was his own stupid thoughts consuming him.

‘You did,’

‘I want to fix it,’ he muttered, ‘Yukio and Rukia came up with a plan but I’m not sure it will work.’

‘What’s the plan?’ Ichigo asked tilting his head.

‘To surprise her, I want to call her and speak with her, ask her to come with me to your wedding.’

Ichigo seemed to digest his words for a moment, he looked torn as he sat on Toshiro’s bed. His hands had absently started to play with the corner of a pillow before he seemed to make his mind up and turned to Toshiro was an adamant look on his face.

‘Toshiro you know you’re one of the closest people I have in my life,’ he said suddenly looking very serious as he crossed his legs on his bed and regarded Toshiro. ‘I appreciate that you were there to stop Gin at that event but I’ve become rather protective of Rangiku as well.’ He seemed to debate with himself again for a moment. ‘I’m not denying your feelings, but I’m denying your feelings are stronger than your anxiety and I just can’t see her go through yet another heartbreak, so you got to convince me. Convince me first before you go convincing her.’

Toshiro stared at him for a moment, but actually what he said did make a bit of sense, his anxiety… was it stronger than his feelings for Rangiku? Would he end up breaking her heart? If he was going to go for this, he’d have to commit and that was asking a lot. Toshiro and Ichigo stared at each other for a moment.

‘What do you like about her?’ Ichigo asked, obviously trying to help him.

Toshiro stood up and moved the chair around so that he could sit on it with his legs splayed to the side and his arms resting on the back of the chair. Mostly he just had to move to free up some of the anxiousness from his muscles as he considered the question.

‘She’s kind,’ he said after a few moments of silence, ‘she’s the polar opposite of me. She uses more emoji’s than words and she’s cares so much when she talks about other people. It’s a true revelation of her character that she’s never once had a bad thing to say about anyone. Even Gin she’s never belittled him in a conversation with me or called him anything, she’s just been open and honest and stated facts.

‘She’s bubbly and amazing and we’ve spoken for hours on the phone before,’ he smiled a little to himself at the memories. ‘Correction, she’s spoken for hours on the phone, I’ve mostly just listened.’ He chuckled and Ichigo smiled with him. ‘She’s just beautiful, inside and out and I don’t think I can say more than that.’

‘You don’t have too,’ Ichigo smiled, ‘that’s enough. I can tell how much you like her just from the way you smile when you talk about her.’

‘Not that it matters because I don’t think I’ll be able to ask her out even if I wanted too.’ He sighed.

‘Why?’ Ichigo frowned.  

‘I mean, I don’t think she’ll even answer my call,’ Toshiro said, ‘I was going to send her the two roses with the time and date for the call and hope that she would be able to make it.’

‘Send me with the roses,’ Ichigo smiled, ‘she may need a bit more convincing so send me with them. I’m going to visit her tomorrow anyway, but make the call in a week or so, just so she’s ready for it.’ Ichigo didn’t say any more than that but Toshiro trusted him.

‘Alright are you sure?’ he asked.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s going to push back at first which is why I agree with you roses at this point won’t cut it. You hurt her bad,’ Toshiro winced at the comment, ‘but I think I could convince her.’

‘Thank you Ichigo,’ he sighed, ‘I wanted to meet her before the wedding though, if I could maybe while we’re decorating in an environment where I feel like I have a bit more control. I don’t think having that added pressure on the day of the wedding is a good idea if I’m going to be giving a speech too.’

‘You’re giving a speech?’ Ichigo jerked his head back and his eyes went wide. Toshiro smirked.

‘Yeah, Renji and Isshin have added time for it, you didn’t think your best man wouldn’t give a speech did you?’

‘I just assumed… I mean… Toshiro everyone at work is going to recognise your voice if you do that…’ Ichigo was eyeing him a little unsure.

‘I understand that, I’ve accepted it. The people you are inviting that have heard my voice are members of our team and it’s about time they learned who their CEO was. I’m not going to parade it, I don’t want to take away from your day, I trust them enough to silent accept it and me and enjoy the speech as much as possible.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes,’ Toshiro nodded his head, ‘I’m tired of hiding Ichigo. I don’t want to not do things because I’m scared of being discovered. I don’t want to miss out on your special day because I am scared of what people will think.’

‘That’s just a lot of pressure though, the speech as well are you sure you’ll handle it?’ Ichigo looked concerned now.

‘Yes, I’m sure,’ Toshiro said after a moment because if he couldn’t do it, then he didn’t deserve Ichigo’s friendship in his eyes, it was something he had to do.

‘Alright,’ the strawberry broke into a grin, ‘I can’t wait.’

They chatted for the rest of the night about the wedding and how the day was going to look. Ichigo seemed to have memorised the entire day’s timetable and once they were done chatting about the day they spoke about what could happen the day before.

Toshiro was going to surprise Rangiku, of that he was certain. He wanted to do it for a few reasons; one to get the major anxiety out of the way so he could focus more on the wedding the next day. Two because he wanted to prove to her that he was committed to this and she did in fact have a date for the wedding. Three because he wanted to be able to talk privately to her and he doubted he’d get a chance at the wedding where he’d be expected to carry out a lot of the best man jobs, and finally because he just wanted to genuinely surprise her.

Ichigo told him that she was going to be helping him and Renji get setup for the wedding by dropping centre pieces off to the hotel for the reception. That’s where Toshiro would meet her, the evening before, completely and naturally himself.

Even the thought of it was making his stomach churn but he wanted to do this, he needed to do this.

Who wanted to live alone forever? And what was life without taking a chance?

\-------------

Toshiro had never felt this level of fear before in his life. Despite having taken his medication he was shaking as he paced his bedroom. Every single ring seemed to last forever until there was a click on the other end and Rangiku’s voice sounded.

He hesitated for a second, so badly caught in the fear before swallowing it down, he had to do this.

‘Rangiku,’ he breathed out shakily, ‘it’s good to hear your voice.’ He tried to relax a little, his hand bunched up in the shirt that was currently partially un-tucked from his black slacks. Where did the conversation go from here? He couldn’t say he’d missed her… it’d been months, she’d scoff and hang up. He swallowed and decided to take another approach, ‘I, you’ll have to forgive me I’m not very good at this,’ he took a deep breath, ‘I wanted to ask you something but first I feel I owe you an explanation if you’re willing to listen?’

‘I’m listening,’ she answered at last. She sounded angry and she had every right to be, he took a deep shaking breath and let it out.

‘Okay, when I first interviewed you, you were meant to just be this other employee. Just like everyone else, that was my intention. I had nothing to go by except your voice and your bubbly chat that came through on Skype.

‘It’s silly then that I should have found myself growing attached. There were so many barriers there you worked for me being one of the key ones.’ He had a hundred things he wanted to say but trying to frame it all in this conversation was going to be a challenge. ‘But still we got to talking, you opened up to me in ways you’ve never opened yourself up to anyone before and I’ve never met you half way and for that I’m sorry and I’m going to change that now. I’m just a guy who tinkers with motherboards and loves to create, I was never meant to be this big executive business man. But you know how I feel about how I look my mistake has always been projecting my feelings onto others. It’s why I hid myself away and didn’t want anyone else to see or find me.

‘But we started spending more and more time talking and even without a visual I was growing close to you, invested in a way I’ve never felt before in my life. If you can picture the world’s biggest geek who has no experience with women whatsoever that’s literally the guy you have on the phone right now.

‘I started sending you the roses mostly because I wanted to make you smile, partly because if I’m being honest with myself I’d started to fall in love with you.’ He felt like his tongue was weighing a million pounds in his mouth, ‘and I never even gave you a chance. I’m sorry I’m not good at this,’ he took a deep breath before continuing. ‘You made me smile, made me happier than I’d felt in years. Seeing Ichigo get engaged, Yukio and Rukia warming up to each other, it all made me feel a little lonely. Then you burst into my life like a ray of sunshine and how could I not be enthralled by you? Before I knew it I was following you halfway around the world to protect you from the world’s biggest asshole.’ He hesitated, ‘not that I’m saying you needed my help or anything but just that it felt right to be close to you. Not once did I ever give your feelings a thought, it was always so absurd to me that anyone could even be remotely interested in me. That’s not me fishing for a compliment, just being genuinely serious it’s why I’ve never had a girlfriend before.

‘I still have so many reservations, I hadn’t realised but after our last horrific conversation, I’d stopped eating and shut myself away. It felt like someone had turned off all the lights and I had no idea where I was. I’ve never felt anything like this before and it still terrifies me.

‘Others have said that maybe I was leading you on, that maybe you felt the same way which obviously to me sounded absurd because I just had this mental image that someone as amazing as you could never ever want to be with someone like me. But that wasn’t fair and I’m sorry, it was never my decision to make it was always yours, so now I’m putting my heart on the line for it.’

He took another deep breath, ‘Rangiku would you be my date to Ichigo and Renji’s wedding?’

‘I didn’t know your anxiety was so severe,’ she told him, her voice seemed a little unsure, ‘I’m sorry that I went behind your back at the convention; that was wrong of me, I just- I just wanted to make things easier on you. I-I really thought you might have had feelings for me. I wanted it so much… but then when you couldn’t even consider us friends… god it hurt.

‘Part of me knew that you were only rejecting me because you thought that I couldn’t love you due to your looks… but that only made it worse. I feel like I have poured my heart out to you and told you things I couldn’t even tell my parents, I told you time and time again that I didn’t rate a person’s attractiveness on looks, I even told you I hated the way I looked, and yet you still believed I was that shallow...even after I saw you in person and told you I still wanted to meet up.’

She took a big breath but continued, not allowing him any chance to cut in, ‘I’m really sorry that you’re suffering and I’m sorry that I’ve caused you so much pain… but I’m hurting too. I came out of this experience wanting to change everything about myself. I want to accept your invitation, but I also need to protect my heart. I’m not saying no… but I can’t say yes until I know I’m not going to get my heart broken again, until I can see you in front of me, no Skype app involved.’

Hearing it from other people and hearing it from Rangiku herself were two completely different things. Toshiro had crossed his room and now leaned against the floor to ceiling glass that revealed the beautiful city of busy Tokyo below. He looked out the window but wasn’t really seeing the city as he focused instead fully on her words.

She didn’t outright admit feelings on the phone but what she said it was painfully obvious that she did have them. It made his heart ache more and he could feel the protectiveness bubbling in his chest again the same way he had with Gin, except what was there to protect her from this time except himself? He never once interrupted her and let her have her say, happy she’d accepted him still fully in everything that he’d just admitted to her and not outright rejecting him.

It made sense she’d be careful. If he put himself in her shoes now, he could feel how much what he’d have done would have affected her.

‘I’m so sorry Rangiku, I’m sorry for hurting you it was never my intention,’ he sighed, ‘I just wanted to protect you that’s all I’ve ever wanted but I can see I failed to protect you from the one thing that I should have had the most control over; my callousness. Please believe me when I say I never thought you were shallow, I know it may have seemed that way. I was just trying to protect myself, I had become so infatuated with you that the thought of even meeting and it not working out hurt me so much, but like I said I never even gave it a chance.’

Maybe the medication was working, he was feeling a little braver. Maybe it was a reaction to the fact she sounded so vulnerable, ‘I’m sorry for not considering your feelings in any of this, that won’t ever happen again.’ He turned back to his room, the pacing help to even out his beating heart. ‘I will meet you at the wedding and we can take it from there?’

He felt like he waited for her reply for a while and the silence which realistically only lasted a few seconds on the phone seemed to stretch out for an eternity.

‘Okay,’ she finally agreed not sounding fully convinced. It was a start though, not an outright rejection she had accepted on the terms of seeing her in person which he was going to do the day before the wedding. He felt a little better and breathed out a sigh of relief. He wanted to say so many things to her, how happy he was, how terrified he was, how beautiful her voice was. Though he decided to just leave the conversation there and wished her a pleasant evening before hanging up the phone. He didn’t want to disturb her any further and now he had a whole week for his overly anxious brain to imagine every possible ridiculous outcome to this meeting.

\---

Toshiro was beyond nervous, he couldn’t believe he was going to do this. Legitimately going to do this and yet… there was a tiny part of his absolute fear that had dedicate itself to excitement. Like part of him was actually allowing himself to get hopeful.

Thankfully he’d packed everything he’d need to leave at his hotel room, Rangiku would have no idea that they would be meeting tonight before the wedding. Isshin had already put the plan into action but he was with the hotel staff sorting out the buffet and making sure all the other little bits and pieces were in place. He was bursting with excitement and Toshiro had absorbed some of it, he’d offered to help put up decorations down in the reception area for tomorrow, however the boys weren’t bringing the boxes over until 6pm.

So he was sat at his desk with his tools spilled over it, three circuit boards and wires everywhere. It was simple, he was recreating Pong but with sound only. It was providing an interesting challenge and exactly what he needed before his phone went off.

‘That’s us just here,’ Ganju said, he was one of Ichigo’s cousins and was arriving with Shuhei who was to be DJing the party in the evening.

‘I’ll be right down,’ Toshiro quickly stood, this was it. Not only was he going to be opening himself to Rangiku, he was going to be doing a speech for the wedding and that… meant that it was likely others would recognise him. Ukitake, Yoruichi and many others who had heard his voice several times were going to be at this wedding, they knew that Ichigo and Isshin were very close to him. It was inevitable. Yukio had a massive conversation with him around learning to trust others… that’s what he was about to do. He straightened his tie, checked his white shirt and threw on his black jacket. He wanted to look good after all.

He made his way down and helped the family bring in the boxes. Isshin arrived quickly on the scene and helped direct them to where everything was going.

‘Don’t worry Toshiro, when Rangiku gets here I’ll bring her right to you,’ he smiled and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Toshiro felt his stomach twist in a knot.

‘Thanks,’ he muttered.

‘You got this son, she’d be crazy not to love you,’ he said it quietly so no one else but them could hear him and then he was gone to address the staff and chat with the manager.

Toshiro helped settle into a rhythm of helping everyone else, his eyes only now and again straying to the doors. The room itself was huge there were several large circular tables with white cloths thrown over them. Names were being set up and the theme for the winter wedding was one Toshiro could get down with. Silver and white and very much snow themed, he soon found that the doors took less and less of his attention as he continued to focus on putting things up. Hoping upon hope she didn’t walk in to see him standing on a chair because that would awkward.

‘Toshiro can you put this box over by the speakers, we’re waiting for the centre pieces,’ Ganju said as Toshiro lifted the half-filled box. They had been sitting sticking snowdrops against the wall and the job itself was tedious but the look it created was stunning. He walked over to the large speakers and put the box down when Shuhei stuck his head out.

‘Toshiro see the fairy lights, is there any way we have them flash in time to the music too?’ he asked with a frown, ‘I can’t programme them, I’ve tried everything.’

Toshiro slipped his black jacket off and placed it on one of the speakers as he stood up to take a look at the laptop. He was surprised with the time, it was late. He glanced back over to the door then he felt his heart clench a little. Maybe she wasn’t coming tonight? It was likely that maybe she couldn’t make it. He couldn’t see Isshin anywhere around to ask.

‘I should be able to get it working,’ he said with a sigh, trying not to feel too deflated. He glanced at the lights which were hung low around the entire room. They plugged directly in beside one of the larger speakers and Shuhei helped him move it.

‘I’ll be back soon, let me get my tools,’ he said after disconnecting the plugs from the sockets. He slipped out into the lobby and glanced around. There was still no sign of Isshin or Rangiku.

It was fine, he reminded himself, he’d see her tomorrow. This had been a bit badly planned anyway, there was never a guarantee she would come, she could have easily cancelled for another reason. The clock was approaching half eight and he made his way back to his room to collected the tools he’d need and made his way back down.

Shuhei helped him move one of the other speakers and they made a little joke that the cleaners seemed to like cleaning around things. Still that was how he ended up sitting down cross legged on the dusty floor, fraying back the cables. He kept the soldering iron between his lips and the tiny polygon screwdriver behind his ear. Eventually he unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, so he could more easily peer down at his work without the collar poking him.

He made short work of it, it was a simple task compared to other things he’d done in his life. They just needed to hide the little chip from view so no one stepped on it. He was in the process of re attaching the power cables when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

It wasn’t how he’d wanted to be found by Rangiku, but he heard Isshin clear his throat and glanced up.

_Shit._

She was even more beautiful than he remembered, staring almost curiously down at him through a pair of soft pink thickly framed glasses. They highlighted her baby blue eyes, her hair about shoulder length falling just below her shoulders and framing her face just as beautifully as the glasses. She was dressed completely casually, jacket still on, the unmistakable sign of ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ printed on her shirt and black jeans and yet it was like she was being lit by a backing light.

Instantly he flushed, pulling the tool out of his mouth and quickly scampering to his feet, trying to brush the dust off his trousers.

‘Rangiku, this,’ Isshin started, ‘is Toshiro Hitsugaya.’

Rangiku had literally taken his breath away so he couldn’t really speak. Years of living away from Japan halted the Japanese formality from his mind, he held out his hand and accepted hers after a moment giving an awkward bow and brushing his lips against the back of her hand. He knew that he was blushing like a love struck idiot.

‘Rangiku, it’s nice to finally meet you.’

‘I’ll leave you two kids alone,’ Isshin said ducking away.

‘Hi,’ she squeaked, clearly surprised and caught unaware. ‘Uhh… Captain?’ the name broke the ice a little and he felt a little bit of tension ease from his shoulders. ‘I-I, um… I didn’t plan this one,’ she added quickly, clearly concerned after the whole convention ordeal. The squeak in her voice made his heart flutter and he was vaguely aware he was still holding her hand. He let the soft delicate fingers slip through his own and his eyes made their way back to her face. God she was so beautiful, he knew he kept thinking the same thing over and over again but it was true. There was now a delicate blush across her cheeks blending into her hair and causing the lower frame of her glasses to blend as well, her bright blue eyes seemed to definitely be surprised. It had been exactly what he was hoping for. He’d been so busy staring at her face that he hadn’t really taken in the rest of her, but he did now, allowing his eyes to glance her up and down. Something was very different and it only took him a glance away from her face to realise. She’d had a breast reduction. It was painfully obvious and her words from the phone call came back to hit him; “I came out of this experience wanting to change everything about myself.” He felt his heart clench in his chest. Was that because of him? He really hoped not. He was sure she’d open up to him about it in time again… but for now he’d have to let the devastation wash over him if this meeting was to stop from getting too awkward.

‘T-this time it was me,’ he replied to her, ‘s-sorry,’ he felt like he was tripping over the words in his mouth. It was just so difficult because the object of his complete affection over the last year was now standing in front of him in person and that was incredibly daunting for him. He could feel eyes on them from around the room and knew that while others would be trying to give them space, they were also all nosy gits. He opened his mouth to say something when Shuhei cut in, seemingly unable to help himself. ‘Toshiro are the lights working?’

He wanted to punch him because of course they were? How dare he ask? Oh, Toshiro glanced back down at the cable… he hadn’t plugged them in. Right. ‘Ah, excuse me,’ he said quickly to Rangiku and turned to plug the cable back into the wall. ‘That should be them now Shuhei,’ he said as he straightened back up. Shuhei was staring at Rangiku like an angel had just walked into his life and Toshiro glared at him. ‘Shuhei.’ ‘Right-o,’ he broke his trance and popped on a slow dance that wouldn’t startle anyone too badly in the room. The fairy lights flickered and dimmed now in time with the other lights on the circuit. ‘Nice one,’ Shuhei grinned, he looked like he was about to say something to Rangiku when Toshiro beat him to it. ‘My room is just upstairs,’ he said to her, ‘if you wanted to go somewhere more private to talk?’ he picked his folded jacket up off the speaker as he said it, so he’d be ready to go if she wanted to evacuate the room.

Toshiro watched attentively as a few emotions seemed to flicker across her face, her eyes considering him for a moment. He swallowed down his fear ready to propose an alternative instead because he knew that she had history with males. He wasn’t about to take it personally but she surprised him by agreeing.

‘Yeah, okay,’ she agreed looking a little more confident now, ‘lead the way.’

He started a bit then turned to lead the way as she’d requested. He was on the third floor, it was just a standard hotel room for the wedding all he’d requested was that it have a desk. He held the main door open for her and led her silently up the stairs ignoring the watchful eyes of Ichigo as he slipped into the lobby.

‘Here we are,’ he said fidgeting with his card key and unlocking the door, he stepped in and held it open for her, wishing he’d tided up a bit beforehand. His tie was strewn across his chair, the window was open and blowing chill through the room and he had various tools and pieces of circuitry scattered across his desk. The room itself did have two comfortable looking chairs, a standard double bed and an attached bathroom. ‘Did um,’ he let the door close behind them, ‘did you want a glass of wine?’

‘Yes, please,’ she nodded at his request. Toshiro turned away from her for a moment to pull the bottle of wine from the ice, he wasn’t sure what kind it was. He’d just ordered the most expensive one on their little menu in case she did decide to come up to his room with him. He figured it would make things a little less awkward, he pulled one of the glasses over and poured the glass up just around halfway, she could top up if she wanted. He reached down under the table and pulled out his bottle of Dalmore whiskey out to pour himself a glass. He turned just as her eyes flickered to his hair and tried not to feel too self conscious at the fact she was eyeing him up. He’d done the same to her after all. He placed the glass down on the table beside her and hugged his whiskey close.

‘I like the white,’ she said nodding to his head, ‘it’s like fresh snow.’

‘Thank you,’ he muttered at the compliment. He'd always found his white hair to be incredibly strange, it was flattering to know she liked it. He pushed down the bubble of doubt, his anxiety that seemed to be trying to tell him she'd only said it to be kind. ‘I know Ukitake seems to have the same colour as me, think it was a birth defect.’ He smiled shyly at her, ‘but we’re not related. How was your day?’ he tried to steer the conversation away from looks.

Her eyebrows seemed to furrow a little at the mention of the word “defect” but she thankfully didn’t comment on it, allowing him to pull the conversation in a different direction.

‘Just work,’ she answered, picking up her glass of wine and sipping on it, ‘much quieter without Ichigo around.’ She took another sip and Toshiro was about to ask more about how quiet the office was when she jumped straight in with another question. ‘So what inspired this little surprise anyway? I thought you wanted to take it from the wedding?’

‘Oh um,’ he hadn’t actually been prepared for the question, he hadn’t really been prepared for any question actually. He leaned against the desk moving a few of his tools out of the way to place his whiskey glass down to give him a moment. ‘A few reasons,’ he admitted, ‘I wanted you to be sure that I would show up. Rukia also reminded me that I’d be sitting with Ichigo at the wedding all day which means I won’t be able to speak with you often so though it would be good for us to have a chat face to face before the actual wedding. More than anything though, I’m going to be trying my best to trust people a little more.’ He held back admitting about the therapist, she didn’t need to hear that at the moment. ‘I started by chatting to Rukia and Yukio recently about everything that happened between us, Ichigo too and it’s cleared the air a little.’ He felt a little better when he started talking even though he wasn’t really looking at her directly in the eye but rather stealing glances every now and again. He actually kept his gaze down at the floor, which must have been odd for a business man. ‘I also thought maybe you’d feel better about the wedding as well if we met before it? Oh,’ he jerked his head up his face going a little red, ‘I should probably warn you that you’re sitting with Yukio and Rukia tomorrow, so I’m sorry in advance.’ Did he babble? He’d heard word vomit was a thing with women he just never thought he’d get it. Was that word vomit? Was that what it was called? Why was he feeling so nervous? He literally felt like he was sweating through his entire shit which was stupid because it was the most expensive material money could buy, still he popped the second button down just to try and help him breathe a bit better.

Thankfully Rangiku didn’t seem to be noticing his internal struggles but instead picked up on something specific that he’d said.

‘Rukia came to my office a few weeks ago and I could tell she didn’t know about it. I’m glad you’ve been able to open up to her and Yukio since.’ Even as she said it a distant and sad look crossed her face.

Toshiro observed her sad smile and hated it, hated that he’d caused it. Now that he was stood here in his room, it was hard to see what had been so scary before. Anxiety had that way of flaring up on you and blowing the unknown totally out of the proportion. Rangiku wasn’t intimidating, she was just a human. A beautiful human who had been hurt by him. Even though he’d admitted opening up to others he was still exceptionally closed off but something in her sadness he found some strength. He straightened up and walked the few steps over to her, with her sat down he was at least a little bit taller than her and he gently pressed his lips against her forehead. His hand slipped around to rub the top of her back gently, ‘I’m sorry I hurt you,’ he muttered stepping away. Worried that maybe that had that been a little too awkward?

She had a distant look in her eyes and it took a second before her hand raised to the spot where his lips had just touched her. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, apology on his lips when she smiled. It was such a beautiful breath-taking smile that the words stuttered and died in his throat.

‘So Toshiro,’ she said, his name sounding like warm butter from her lips. ‘What time will you be picking me up tomorrow night?’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for coming with us on this journey :) please don't forget to leave us a comment / review!


	6. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So begins the wedding of Ichigo and Renji!

Toshiro ducked into the room where Ichigo was getting ready and beamed at his friend. The tall Strawberry was stood in front of three mirrors with his father standing proudly behind him and his youngest sister fussing over his suit. Ichigo was dressed completely in white, the tux close fitting and showing off the effects of his long and hard diet.

‘You look amazing,’ Toshiro nodded, having only seen him just before he got changed. He held up the cuff links that Ichigo had asked him to go and get and the taller male held his wrists out for Toshiro to clip them into place for him. Hardly one for getting emotional Toshiro actually found it difficult. There was a definitive lump at the back of his throat as he swallowed thickly. Once they cuffs were in place; two sparkling silver snowflakes Toshiro glanced up at his friend.

‘You look emotional,’ Ichigo grinned but Toshiro could see the happy moisture in his friends gaze as he stared down at him.

‘So do you,’ Toshiro commented back before being yanked in for a hug. He could feel the drumming of Ichigo’s heart in his chest as he wrapped his arms around the taller male.

‘Selfie time,’ Isshin laughed jumping into their moment and quickly snapping a picture. Toshiro only just having time to grin up at the tiny screen.

‘Don’t you post that anywhere yet,’ Ichigo warned his father as Toshiro turned to Yuzu and Karin. The two girls were dressed in silver dresses to match the theme and it was odd for Toshiro to see Karin dressed more femininely. There was a period of his life where his Granny genuinely thought he and Karin would be together but they were destined to just be friends. Karin was too headstrong to deal with Toshiro’s rigid formality about how he treated women and the two often butted heads.

‘You look beautiful,’ he grinned at her and she scowled at him and stuck up her middle finger.

‘Fuck you,’ she huffed and he pursed his lips before making his way over to one of the chairs. He sat down and checked his watch, counting down the moments until he’d get to see Rangiku. He regularly dipped in and out of the room where the Kurosaki family were to run errands and check that everything was ready for the arrival of guests. Overall the time was quite tight and it took Ichigo to bark at him his reminder to go and pick Rangiku up for him to freak out over the time.

Having being kicked out of the comfort of the wedding for a moment, things seemed a lot more daunting. Now that Rangiku wasn’t by his side it was easy enough to get anxious again and predict all the worst possible outcomes. Still he had a much better handle on his anxiety after spending some time with her last night and actually _kissing_ her. Not a real kiss but real enough for him anyway. He tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel waiting for the lights to change. His car of choice today was one of his flashier ones; his black Mercedes-Benz Saloon. It had been at Ichigo’s direct instruction that he take his ‘sexy car’ to go with his ‘sexy attire’.

_Ridiculous._

Still it was his wedding day and he got what he asked for. It was a smooth ride, the car actually felt like it flew across the road rather than drove across it. The interior black leather slick and still with that new car smell. Okay so he was very glad he’d taken Ichigo’s advice on this one. His phone sat in a neat holder, the woman’s voice coming from the speakers instructing him on where to go. He pulled into the neighbourhood and it didn’t look safe.

He frowned. He knew that Tokyo was expensive to live in… and he hoped that he was paying her enough to move out of this area because the streets looked awful. It was Japan so crime was naturally very low but it still made him feel anxious. Originally he’d planned on texting her and meeting her at the actual door to the block but not now, he’d walk all the way to her door and make sure she was safe. He still remembered most of his self-defence lessons even if he didn’t think he could move too freely in this suit. He parked his car up staring up at the shabby looking block and was not surprised at all to see the door to the entire block just strewn open without any proper security.

He quickly checked himself in the mirror, he looked as good as he could for him. His hair was as wild and as untamed as ever but he’d also put a tiny bit more weight on again so he looked a bit better in the suit than he did the first fitting. Stepping out the car he straightened his suit and tie and locked his car, triple checking it before making his way into the block.

The stale scent of alcohol and drugs hitting his nose instantly and he tried his best not to recoil in disgust. He’d been living in high end hotels and apartments for far too long now. He made his way towards the stairs since the elevator looked like it had been broken for at least as long as he’d been alive.

She was on the fifth floor and he took his time so as to not end up sweaty once he got there. The only cargo he had on him was his phone in case of an emergency and the single rose corsage clutched tightly in his hands. Once he finally made it outside her door he checked his watch and waited for the seconds to tick to exactly 3pm before he took a deep breath and knocked.

He took a polite step back and felt his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for her to answer.

There were several things that he hadn’t been prepared for. As soon as the door had opened he’d let his eyes quickly scan her attire, she looked stunning. The red dress clung to her in a way that would make any man lose focus and he could feel the blood rushing passed his ears as he straightened up to tell her how beautiful she looked. That’s when he noticed the kitten cradled in her arms but didn’t have a second to comment on any of it as he was being pulled into her apartment and felt a soft and firm press of lips against his cheek. He stood frozen for a second having not anticipated any of it and it took a while for his mind to kick back into gear at which point he blushed as he caught what she said.

‘Sorry uhh, habit, you look good, really, really good.’ She seemed to flush as well when she realised what she’d done.

A habit? How many guys did she kiss on the cheek… likely Ichigo and Isshin came to mind, which would probably make sense. Still he felt oddly shy about it and his eyes couldn’t help but trail to the bright red lipstick she wore on her lips, his mind barely registering her other comment.

‘Nothing,’ he quickly corrected his brain not quite firing correctly the first time, ‘I mean nothing c-compared to you,’ he quickly waved a hand at her attire, his eyes being drawn back to the tiny kitten in her arms again for a second. ‘Y-you look stunning,’ his eyes slid back up to hers and he tried not to feel too dismayed that she was wearing heels, it was something he’d have to get over… eventually… no pun intended. ‘Who’s this?’ he asked glancing at the tiny cat in her arms. 

‘Who?’ she asked a little confused until she followed his gaze to the little kitten in her hand, ‘oh the cat! Yes, I um, I got a cat. Her name is Haineko, Ichigo’s not a fan…’ Her finger began to gently scratch the kitten and Haineko leaned into the touch with an appreciative purr. ‘Uhh do you, um, do you like cats?’ she asked, frowning. ‘You’re not allergic, are you?!’

He was amused by how disorientated she seemed and wondered if she’d maybe spent the last few moments leading up to his knock getting herself ready.

‘I’m not allergic,’ he said as he watched the movement of her fingers against the little furball, ‘I don’t mind cats to be honest.’ He shrugged, he’d never really minded any animals. ‘Actually Yukio and I used to volunteer at an animal shelter when we were starting out our company. So I’m good with most animals, except snakes,’ he quickly shook his head, ‘not a fan of snakes.’

It was at that point he realised he was still holding her corsage and he quickly held his hand out, the slightly clouded box being presented to her. ‘It’s for you,’ he mumbled suddenly feeling very shy again and glancing up to make eye contact with her for a second. She had new glasses… were they new? They were black this time and seemed to go more with her outfit, he hadn’t noticed them before.   
She suited them.

Maybe he was developing a thing for glasses.

Or maybe it was just a Rangiku thing.

He flushed when he realised he was staring.

‘You got me a corsage?’ she asked clearly not noticing his staring and he silently thanked that. ‘And it’s the last rose…’ He watched the smile grace her face and it made his heart thud a million times over. She just looked so breath taking when she smiled and he vowed it to be his life mission to make her smile as much as he possibly could. He watched as she held her wrist out to him and felt his face flush once again. He was getting embarrassed about putting a corsage on her which was ridiculous, it wasn’t like it was a garter or anything. He cleared his throat and took the corsage from the box and gently pulled it onto her wrist, relishing every second his fingers got touch a new part of her skin.

Maybe it was because the rose was stupidly romantic and significant to their relationship but he found himself gently taking her hand in his. He lifted it to his mouth to brush his lips lightly against it, as he had done when they first met the night before.

‘A-are you ready to go?’ he asked, stealing a glance back up at her.

‘Yes, just let me grab a coat,’ Rangiku said, putting the kitten down and making her way out the room.

Toshiro hadn’t even bothered to cast his eyes around her living space, he’d been too enthralled with the beautiful woman in front of him. As she ran about calling to him though, he did quickly glance around. It reminded him so much of her that he smiled actually. There were little bits and quirks of her personality thrown around the place. It seemed a bit like organised chaos and if someone had blindfolded him and took him here and asked him to guess who the space belonged to he’d probably have guessed Rangiku’s.

‘Sorry it’s such a shitty apartment,’ Rangiku called, returning soon after, ‘It’s not quite the fancy hotels you’d be used to.’ She opened the front door and he slipped out ahead of her.

‘It’s a bit smaller than I was expecting, but it’s yours so I love it for that reason.’   
He didn’t love this crappy hallway though with weird smells and narrow staircases. He went ahead of her glancing back every so often to make sure one of her neighbours hadn’t abducted her, then led her out of the building towards his very obvious flashy car.

‘I had a really nice apartment that had amazing views of the city but I couldn’t afford it when I left Game Station, and then I was saving up to move once I started at Zeltrix, but you know…’ She gestured slightly to her breasts. ‘This is your car?!’ Rangiku exclaimed, turning to face Toshiro as he held a car door open for her. As if she hadn’t believed it as they walked towards it. ‘Holy shit.’ She slipped into the passenger seat.

He was about to address the comment about her very obvious breast surgery but her swearing caught him off guard. He was of course used to Yukio swearing like a sailor and sometimes Rukia joining him every now and again but actually it was language he didn’t use often because his Granny had hated it. He closed the door behind her and couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped out of his lips as he made his way around the other side of the car. For some reason the language, though vulgar, had been so unexpected that he couldn’t help but laugh. He was just about opening his door when he heard her say it again. For such a beautiful and classy looking girl, she could give Yukio a run for his money and Toshiro marked it as an extra thing he had learned about the beautiful woman.

He slipped into the driver’s side and maybe revved the engine a little more than was completely necessary… he just loved the sound it made before he took off driving. Okay maybe he was showing off a little.

‘Rangiku, I know you had your reasons for getting the surgery done, I’ll admit it did surprise me. But whatever the reasons I’m sorry again if I played any part of it,’ he sighed but tried to turn the conversation around, she already knew how sorry he was and he would never stop feeling guilty about it. ‘You look amazing, you’ve always looked amazing, but if you need help moving to somewhere safer then let me know. I bought Rukia a place closer to work when she started working for me, I’m happy to do the same thing for you.’

‘It wasn’t you,’ Rangiku told him quickly, ‘I’ve wanted it since I was young. And thank you, for the compliments and the offer,’ she smiled at him, ‘but I don’t want to use you like that, I’ll save up on my own.’ He hadn’t actually expected her to take his offer up, but he still felt better for having tried. Rangiku was far too kind to take that level of generosity from anyone and he knew that. Still he didn’t feel right and the thought of her returning back there made him feel very uncomfortable.

‘Besides the building isn’t that bad,’ Rangiku continued, ‘I means there’s definitely an old perv on the third floor but he’s in a wheelchair so how harmful can he be? Plus there is this really nice Armenian lady at the end of my hallway who sometimes bakes cookies for everyone in the building…’ He decided not to address the fact that these things made him more uncomfortable… what that woman could be putting in her cookies made his stomach clench.

‘Well you’ll be welcome to spend as many nights as you want at mine if you need to get away, you and Hineko,’ he said, ‘I mean my place is sort of the meeting place for everyone anyway. Ichigo is always over as is Isshin, Yukio lives with me and Rukia will be over all the time.’ He smiled at that, ‘did I tell you they’re dating?’ he didn’t think he’d mentioned it before so now seemed like a good time as the car pulled up into the resorts car park.

‘What?!’ Rangiku exclaimed, ‘they’re finally dating?’ she reached out and grabbed his arm in her surprise.  Toshiro was actually rather surprised by the strength of her grip and grinned over to her. He knew she’d be happy for them and he couldn’t believe he’d waited this long to tell her the news. ‘This is amazing,’ she laughed, ‘I’m so happy for them.’

He grinned and slipped out the car making his way as quickly as he could around her side to open the door for her. ‘I’ll introduce you to them when we get inside,’ he smiled as he took her hand to gently help her out.

As they made their way inside it only took him two seconds to locate his best friends. He led Rangiku over and Yukio erupted into a massive grin, his hair was just as wild as ever but he seemed to have tamed it enough to actually see both eyes today.

‘Hey,’ Toshiro said quickly, ‘Yukio, Rukia this is Rangiku,’ he introduced them, ‘Rangiku this is Yukio and Rukia.’

Yukio just grinned at Toshiro and winked very obviously, Rukia already rolling her eyes.

‘Ignore him,’ she said to her, ‘it’s wonderful to properly meet you,' she smiled jerking her head, 'outside of the office.' She added with a helpful smile.

‘It’s much nicer,’ Rangiku agreed stepping forward and kissing them both on the cheek. ‘I feel like I already know so much about you both from Toshiro.’ She sent Toshiro a wink and he flushed a little at it, ‘he’s always telling me such lovely things about you guys.’

‘Awww,’ Yukio cooed, ‘aren’t you a delight,’ he aimed it at Toshiro but it was very obviously condescending and Toshiro glared playfully at his friend. ‘Don’t worry Rangiku you can sit with us while Toshiro goes and fulfils his duties for the day, we’ve got so many interesting stories to tell you.’ He was looking at Toshiro with a wicked grin on his face as he said it and Toshiro instantly felt his entire face heat up.

‘Don’t you dare,’ he growled at Yukio, he could actually feel his ears getting hot. He did not want Rangiku to hear about the lap dance dare or the almost porn related incident., two of his worst moments, but before he could make Yukio swear though Isshin was already calling him over. He let out a strangled sound at the back of his throat turning his big eyes to his amazing date.

‘I’m sorry I’ve got to go,’ he reached down and kissed her hand again, it was now becoming a habit, ‘don’t trust anything he tells you.’

Toshiro made his way over to Isshin. The wedding ceremony about to start and everyone was led into the main wedding area and to their seats. Toshiro took his place at the front of the alter and waited diligently for the ceremony to start. Occasionally his eyes flickering back to find his date in a sea of multi-coloured dresses and suits. Rangiku’s hair made her very easy to find though and occasionally he caught her eye before flushing and looking away. He did his best to ignore the gleeful stares from Yukio and Rukia who were sat beside her.

The ceremony proceeded and Renji came down to wait for Ichigo who was led down by his very emotional father. Isshin handed Ichigo off to Renji and the two started to recite their vows. Overall Toshiro was happy he managed to keep his composure but he knew he was grinning stupidly the entire time. Then the kiss was had and the two were led out of the alter to cheers from their friends and family.

Toshiro followed and the photos were started, the photographer coming out immediately and Isshin and the family following. Toshiro didn’t really know what to do but simply stood where the photographer told him too and smiled when he was asked. Overall the shoot was standard what you’d expect from a wedding, with a couple of rather silly images thrown in, including one Tosh wasn’t expecting where Ichigo was literally thrown over Renjis shoulder and shouted at everyone to try and catch him.

He was looking forward to seeing those ones the most, if for nothing more than the sheer hilarity.

Once the photos were over though, Toshiro was well and truly in speech freak out mode. He made his way through the crowd not really stopping to say hello to anyone and made a beeline directly for the table where his friends sat with Rangiku. As he approached he had a strained smile on his face and dropped into an empty chair beside Rangiku, forgetting for a moment to greet her properly.

‘Hey,’ he said quickly straightening up and overly correcting his tie, his leg bouncing with nerves. ‘I hope Yukio hasn’t bored you to death?’

‘Yukio has been a gentleman,’ Rangiku said with a slight grin, ‘…Mostly.’

Yukio clicked his tongue at Toshiro.

‘So mean,’ he chuckled then his face turned a little more serious, ‘you alright?’

‘Fine.’ He said it far too quickly though but didn’t really want others to know how badly he was freaking out. He wished he’d brought his medication with him but it would feel strange being at Ichigo’s wedding on drugs that were designed to alter his mood.

‘The ceremony was beautiful,’ Rangiku murmured, taking his hand back in hers, ‘it’s clear they love each other very much.’

Toshiro felt a bit of heat creeping up onto his face as Rangiku took his hand. He focused his entire attention on watching her thumb caress his knuckles, his ears picking up everything she said. She was trying to ground him, he let out a deep shaky breath focusing on the way her thumb felt smooth and softly caressing the bumps of his knuckles. He also noted that their hands seemed to be about the same size, maybe her fingers were a little thinner than his own. Then her comment registered somewhere in the back of his brain; Ichigo and Renji. He was doing this for them if the other Zeltrix staff couldn’t see that then they really didn’t deserve to be at the wedding.

He was trying not to think about it too much, it was easier to not think but focus entirely on the feeling of her finger tracing over his knuckles.

‘I better go,’ he sighed after a moment, but feeling a lot more grounded thanks to her mainstream, ‘thank you Rangiku.’ He flashed her a timid smile and stood up. As he walked towards the table where Ichigo and Renji were now sitting chatting away happily he grabbed two flutes of champagne off a passing waiter and thanked them. He downed both flutes before he even sat down in his chair.

Yup. That would help too.

 It felt like no time at all had passed when he was tapping the side of his glass and standing to give his speech. He could feel the curious eyes of the Zeltrix staff and in a few moments he was sure that the pennies would start dropping. However he was here for Ichigo and Renji, not for himself and he was sure no one would from Zeltrix would interrupt his speech so he just had to make it through.

‘Before everyone gets comfortably drunk, I’d like to say a few words,’ he started and there were a few chuckles from the people it was clearly ‘too late’ for.

‘Ichigo,’ he said turning to the man in question and ignoring the onlookers in the audience. He could feel their curious eyes boring into the side of his face but he focused entirely on the stunning man beside him and his new husband. ‘I’ve known you for a long time, we’ve shared a huge chunk of our life growing up together. In that time I’ve come to learn what an incredible gift it is to have you in my life.’

Ichigo’s eyes were already welling with tears. ‘Not only are you an incredibly self-sacrificing person, you’re loyal, hardworking and above all else, a great friend.’ Toshiro paused for a moment and turned back towards the rest of the room. ‘Despite being all these amazing things, he’s also not a morning person,’ behind him on one of the set up projector screens an image flashed up of a half asleep Ichigo in one of the worst positions imaginable. There was a rumble of laughter from the audience.

Toshiro glanced up at the image and winced, ‘yeah Renji are you sure you want to marry him? It’s not too late to return him,’ he turned towards Renji who was laughing hysterically and trying to console Ichigo, ‘you kept the receipt right?’ he asked lifting an eye brow and trying not to laugh at the two of them. Renji mimed that he was keeping Ichigo over the top of the Strawberry’s head and Toshiro grinned, motioning for Karin to take the image down.

The speech continued through a few more chuckles and a few more embarrassing images. He finished up the speech by wishing the two many more happy journeys and toasted with the rest of the room as everyone clapped and cheered and raised their glasses for a drink. Toshiro felt a wave of relief wash over him as he drunk. His eyes made contact with the most stunning woman in the whole room who seemed to be beaming at him as she clapped along with everyone else. He watched her mouth something about amazing and he sent her a playful wink before sitting back down in his seat. It took his brain literally a second to register he’d just done that and he felt his face remain as hot as it had through his entire speech as he then tried to look anywhere except Rangiku for a few moments. His speech was then followed by Renji’s and then finally Isshin’s both were a lot more loving and ended with Isshin welcoming Renji into the family.

Once the speeches were over he turned towards Isshin and started chatting away to the older male who had reached across the hug him.

‘That was amazing son,’ he laughed and Toshiro felt his stomach flip at the compliment, Isshin was probably the closest thing he had to a father and he was often called “son” by the older male.

‘Thanks Dad,’ he laughed and Isshin smirked down at him when he pulled back.

‘A few years and it will be you eh?’ he smirked and Toshiro flushed and shook his head. Isshin just grinned and turned to glance at Rangiku. If only Toshiro could be so lucky as to one day marry Rangiku then his life would be complete. He turned to watch her and decided it was now a polite time to head back over to see how his date was doing.

‘Go get her tiger,’ Isshin whispered and Toshiro felt his face flush furiously, how could someone he cared so much about say stuff like that? He threw a glare back at the man in question before quickly scampering over towards their table. Even upon his approach he could tell something was very wrong, Rangiku looked embarrassed and Yukio looked far too smug. As he approached with a frown Yukio quickly stood up.

‘Drinks anyone?’ he asked quickly taking an order around the table before scampering off.

‘What did he do?’ Toshiro frantically asked Rangiku as he approached.

‘Oh um,’ Rangiku blushed, ‘he’s just… uhh, told us a story...’

Toshiro felt his entire face flush and then Rukia had left him as well, he groaned and brought a hand up to his face. He knew exactly what story it has been as well… the almost porn incident.

“It uhh… it wasn’t my old Myspace was it?” Rangiku asked, seeming a little paranoid and Toshiro made a mental note to stalk it later.

‘No, it wasn’t your My Space,’ he sighed, ‘I’d just been offloading on IT about them taking so long to update your Skype picture. When it came through it was my first time seeing you that’s all.’ He could feel the heat spreading down his chest and infiltrating the tips of his ears. ‘I promise my intentions were pure,’ he dragged his hand away from his face and made eye contact with her. ‘I didn’t,’ he jerked his head in Yukio’s direction, ‘I don’t- I mean I do! I just…’ he finally slumped into the chair beside her. ‘Can we change the topic,’ he groaned.

Toshiro was very glad that Rangiku wasn’t going to draw out any agony for him. Yukio would have teased him to Jupiter and back for any slip up in a comment like that but Rangiku seemed to be far too genuinely caring.

‘I would have done the same thing,’ she said, shrugging a little, ‘if I had your name and knew if you had social media accounts. It’s natural curiosity.’ When she leaned into his space and put her elbow on his shoulder he marvelled at everything. He could feel the heat of the contact through the layers of his clothing, the slight pressure giving him a new area to focus his attention on. She brought her phone out and continued, ‘do you want to hear my own embarrassing story?’ she asked, whispering so no one would else would hear. She brought up a photo and held it out for him to see. It was the picture from his jet, of him standing against the light of a setting sun, just a silhouette. ‘So I figured this was a photo of you, and I kept my own copy. The night of the conference I couldn’t fall asleep until I looked at this photo, and then after everything that happened afterwards, I still couldn’t delete it. The night you called me and explained everything, I stared at it for an hour...’

That wasn’t an embarrassing story, it was completely endearing and lovely, he hadn’t realised he’d had such a significant effect on her. Even as she admitted it there was still that part of his brain trying to make him doubt it and yet it was so real, she spoke with such emotion. He turned to glance at her, very aware of how close their faces were now that she had leaned over into his space.

‘Rangiku…’ he muttered his voice almost choked on emotion, he didn’t have a clue what to say, he just wanted to look into her beautiful blue eyes and maybe the words would come.

Rangiku leaned forward and closed the distance between them, he felt her warm lips on his and froze. He hadn’t been expected that, his entire brain felt like it had turned to mush and he was fully focused on the light press of the chaste kiss. His eyes had closed over and only fluttered open as she was pulling away, far too quickly. He hadn’t really done anything to deepen it because he’d been so shocked it had been completely unexpected but not entirely unwanted. His eyes chased her lips hungrily and he almost leaned forward again, wanting to try it one more time and make it better. His tongue darting out to wet his lips when he realised they weren’t alone.

Blond in his peripheral vision caused him to whip his head around and there was Yukio and Rukia sitting in their seats, elbows propped on the table and grinning at them.

‘Don’t mind us,’ Yukio said waving his hand, ‘do carry on.’

‘I’m going to get a drink,’ she informed them quickly turning to Toshiro, ‘do you want anything? What do you want? Never mind, I’ll work it out.’

Toshiro glared at his best friends.

‘You guys are assholes.’

Rukia at least had the decency to look a little guilty about the whole ordeal.

‘Shit, sorry Toshiro,’ she scowled at herself and hastily looked down, ‘I didn’t think Rangiku would scare so easy.’

‘She needs to get used to us if she’s going to be with our boy,’ Yukio shrugged his shoulders and Toshiro resisted throwing the jug of water over him.

‘Yukio you git,’ Toshiro aimed a kick at him under the table but his legs were too short to reach, Rukia kicked him for him and Yukio looked at her like he’d just been betrayed. ‘That was our first kiss.’

‘Whoops,’ Yukio chuckled and then started to look a little guilty, ‘shit thought that would have happened last night. Sorry Toshiro, I’ll make it up to you. How about I request your favourite song with the Dj? You two can dance after the first dance?’

‘What’s his favourite song?’ Rukia frowned and Toshiro felt his face heat back up again, as far as Rukia knew his favourite band were The Glitch Mob, hardly wedding material but Yukio who had ‘borrowed’ his ipod knew his secret for the world’s best sappy love songs.

Before Toshiro could stop him he’d already stood up and wandered towards Shuhei who was getting ready for the first dance. With a defeated sigh Toshiro turned back towards the bar and observed his date who appeared to have just taken shots with Ichigo. He wasn’t worried about Rangiku getting him a drink, true it should have been the man’s job to pay for the drinks but he had already put the entire night’s money behind the bar so it was free alcohol all night.

‘What do I do about Yukio?’ Rukia asked after a second and drew his eyes away.

‘What do you mean?’ he frowned.

‘He hasn’t made a move on me yet, if I were any other girl he’d have made a pass,’ she frowned at him, ‘you’re his best friend. What should I do tonight?’

‘Well I,’ Toshiro was interrupted by Rangiku. He smiled at her as she returned with his drink of choice and felt a little thrill go through him that she actually knew his drink order already, he took a mental note that she had gone for the champagne. ‘I don’t think you should tonight anyway, it’s Ichigo and Renji’s wedding,’ he frowned at her, ‘it would be a bit rude wouldn’t it?’

She looked at him like he’d just said the world’s most stupidest thing.

‘No,’ she chuckled, ‘Toshiro that’s not how weddings work. Just because it’s their wedding doesn’t mean no one else is allowed to have sex.’

‘Oh,’ he frowned, he just didn’t think it was very appropriate? Was that wrong? ‘Well maybe you should initiate it,’ he turned back to Rangiku, ‘thank you for the drink and I’m sorry about my friends’ terrible company.’

‘Yeah sorry Rangiku,’ Rukia smiled sheepishly, ‘we didn’t mean to embarrass you, only Toshiro.’

He was caught completely off guard by the set of fingers running through his hair, his lips parting in shock at the feeling. The entire conversation before completely forgotten as Rangiku’s touch became his only focus. No one had touched him like that since his Granny. This was different though, it wasn’t done in comfort and her long nails gently scraped against his skin.

‘You are so sweet,’ she cooed at him. The gentle tugs against his scalp that came with such a simple movement caused all kinds of reactions, from a full on body shiver to a slightly involuntary tightening of his trousers. He made a weird noise at the back of his throat, somewhere between a content sigh and a low moan but flushed instantly. Yukio had made his way back over and thankfully had distracted Rukia but he quickly glanced at Rangiku. He could smell the tequila and it was likely that, that had made her pull off such a ballsy move but he was thankful she had. He knew he was sensitive in his scalp but it was different when she did it.

‘That felt good,’ he practically purred, his voice a few octaves lower than he’d suspected it would have been. Normally he’d never admit to anything like that but his own glasses of champagne from the speech were hitting him.

Toshiro watched the coy smile spread across her face and the surprised eyebrow raise.

‘Good to know,’ she murmured into his ear.

He'd have been way more embarrassed if he wasn't feeling so contently turned on. Like how some would react to ASMR with the strange involuntary tingle down the spine it was exactly how he was feeling, even right now as her fingers continued to scratch his scalp.  The colour on his cheeks was now a little less about embarrassment and was quickly becoming a flush of arousal, then she murmured in his ear and he swallowed thickly. He was so fucked.  Yet he didn't exactly want to tell her to stop. He was very clearly at her mercy as the light scrape of her nails against his skin continued to take his full attention.  It made him realize that he wanted to explore her body in this way, to find all the things that she enjoyed and that turned her on. Maybe one day, she'd be that open with him.  He opened his mouth to try and attempt to say something when the lights in the hall dimmed and Ichigo and Renji were called to the dance floor.

Rangiku’s hand fell away and Toshiro’s attention was drawn to the two newlyweds on the dance floor. There was such a beautiful smile on Ichigo’s face, it seemed to light up the entire room despite the lights just having been dimmed. Not wanting to lose the subtle intimacy that he’d built with Rangiku Toshiro extended his arm so it lay across the back of her chair. He didn’t touch her in case he startled her out of the trance she was in watching the two on the dance floor.

It was a very guy move to make, the arm across the back of the girl but he was just trying to keep the proximity with her that had been building, he hadn’t meant it in a dominant display of ownership or anything. He studied her face while she watched the two dancing, her black glasses drawing out the stark baby blue of her eyes more and the beautiful curve to her nose that you could only see in a profile view. She also had the cutest chin in the world, it had a slight point to it but curved upwards with her jaw in a graceful and feminine manner.

He turned his attention back to the dancers, the two were in their own little world and he couldn’t help but smile at them. He was so happy for Ichigo to have found someone with whom he could spend the rest of his life. Ichigo had always been a bit of a romantic, but Toshiro had been surprised when he’d first been introduced to Renji. The (if possible) taller male with his wild black tattoos and intimidating hairstyle had not been the kind of partner he’d assumed Ichigo would go for. Actually for a very brief period of his time Ichigo had flirted with Yukio who had flirted back because it was just his nature. Toshiro had assumed that Ichigo’s preference would have been for someone more diminutive but alas love held no bounds.

As Toshiro watched the dancers he felt Rangiku’s gaze turn to him and he turned to meet it with a smile of his own. The song was coming to an end and what a choice it had been, everyone loved Bob Marley.

Toshiro could feel the tips of his ears turning red when the song drew to an end and the requested song by Yukio started up. ‘Falling’ by Tyler Ward and Alex G sounding around the room and all the couples started making their way to the dance floor including Rukia and Yukio.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel the very obvious pressure, he was torn. In one hand he knew he was being scrutinized by some of his co-workers who would love the idea of him dating his marketing lead, but he also wanted to have a good time. More importantly he wanted Rangiku to have a good time and even if he felt a little self-conscious at their height difference he swallowed it down. It was probably one of the bravest things he’d done as he stood up from his chair and held his hand out to her.

‘Do you want to dance?’ he asked, grin in place and hoping it looked ten times more confident than he actually felt inside.

‘I'd love to,’ she smiled at him. Toshiro felt a flutter of nerves and excitement thunder through his veins as she accepted his hand. He quickly led them out into the dance floor and skilfully avoided Yoruichi and Urahara who were both part of the Zeltrix team and led Rangiku to a spot on the floor where he was more surrounded by people who cared about him. With the entire Kurosaki family dancing around them and Renji and his mother as well as Yukio and Rukia, Toshiro felt a little better. He turned to face Rangiku and placed his hands on her hips because he was sure that’s what he was meant to do, and met her eyes as the song started to hit its chorus.

It was a cheesy song, he knew it and yet everyone else seemed to be enjoying it so he tried his best to relax. Rangiku was stunning and she wasn’t going to judge him, she knew he was shorter and she didn’t care so why should it matter what anyone else thought? He gently pulled her close so that they were sharing some of the same space but not too close that it would make her feel uncomfortable or trapped. He kept his grip loose as well in case she decided that she wasn’t comfortable and wanted to pull back and give herself more space, then tried his best to focus on her eyes and ignore everyone else around them.

She was so beautiful and he was incredibly lucky to have her, despite the lights being dimmed he could see the flush on her face and it just made her look ten times more beautiful. He wanted to kiss her again but he was a little too apprehensive, he’d been more confident before when they were sitting and not as many people were around them but now… he didn’t have the guts. Despite that his eyes did flicker towards her lips once or twice as he tried – and failed – to build up enough courage.

The song came to an end he was about to ask her if he could get her another drink when he felt a very gruff hand on his arm. His reflexes kicked in and he turned ready to break the hold of the other male when he recognised the face.

‘Ganju?’ he asked a little confused, ‘what are you-’

‘Look I can see you’re all wrapped up with this beautiful woman,’ he slurred, clearly having had a bit more to drink than anyone else. ‘But before she goes stealing you off the market I want a dance.’ He tried to mutter under his breath something about having a crush on ‘Tosh’ for ages as he practically dragged him away. Toshiro’s eyes flew back to Rangiku, he almost wanted to call out to her to help him but it was too late. He’d been sat down in a chair that had magically appeared on the edge of the dance floor – it seemed Yukio was the culprit to that - and Ganju started to dance.

It was awful, it was the worst possible experience he could ever have predicted happening to him. It wasn’t at all aided by the fact that Yukio seemed to be trying to encourage Ganju to take his clothes off for money.

The Shiba man took to very inappropriate thrusting action sometimes almost directly in front of Toshiro’s face, followed by lowering his ass down onto his lap. Toshiro was sure of one thing though; even if he had been gay he would not have enjoyed this. It was clear the man was very intoxicated and even with a massive blush on Toshiro’s face he still caught Ganju as he stumbled and nearly hurt himself, rising out of the seat in a flash to do so.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked quickly.

‘My hero,’ Ganju winked and grinned at him and Toshiro tried not to lose his temper with the older man. It wasn’t an attractive quality, but he hated when people got drunk to the point of stupid because he knew how easy it was for them to get hurt, especially after having spent time in both Scotland and Ireland.

‘C’mon Ganju,’ Isshin laughed at last coming to Toshiro’s aid, ‘let’s get you to your room.’ He came and hauled the older man away who continued to sprout some nonsense about loving Toshiro and the smaller man quickly made an exit towards Rangiku.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked, ‘thank goodness for Isshin, right?’ Toshiro heaved out a sigh, despite his absolute embarrassment at having been subjected to something so ridiculous in front of her, he was pleased to see her.

‘Isshin could have stepped in earlier,’ he said with an embarrassed sigh. Now looking back he could admit it had been a little funny and if the tables had been turned he would have thrust Yukio out onto that chair in a heartbeat. Where was the humour if he couldn’t take what he dished out? He rubbed his face as if trying to scrub away his embarrassment. He hadn’t realised that Ganju had been attracted to him, heck he’d never even spent much time in the guy’s company. It was just likely drunken shenanigans. ‘Do you want a drink?’ he felt a little more confident talking to her now. After the slight intimacy they’d shared he didn’t feel so tongue tied even if every glance she sent his way did cause his stomach to lurch. Before Rangiku could answer though Ichigo seemed to flash step out of nowhere.

‘Okay lovebirds,’ he sung, ‘I’ve got tequila, I’ve got vodka, lets drink up because Ran and I are about to tear it up on the dance floor.’

Toshiro listened tentatively to their conversation.

It didn’t sound good. He watched as Ichigo ploughed Rangiku with shot after shot of tequila and felt a little ripple of fear down his spine, that was far too much alcohol for any one human to consume he was sure. He glanced around looking for Renji to come and subdue his husband when he was thrust a shot of vodka. He blinked down at it and decided to just hold it rather than take it. Maybe in his drunken state Ichigo wouldn’t see that as outright rejection but now he wanted to ensure that Rangiku would be okay. He’d not mentioned to her about staying in his room yet, mostly because his thoughts that day had been taken up with other things. Now though he was worried she’d think he was insinuating something by asking but no way was he going to let her go back to her crappy neighbourhood in that state alone. Even if he had to follow her back and sleep outside her apartment on the manky floor.

Ichigo’s promise to return her in one piece did nothing to quell his concerns.

‘Maybe you two should slow down?’ he offered kindly, trying not to sound like a father scolding his children because really, they were all adults. ‘Three shots in a row is enough to take down even the most resilient of people.’

He studied Rangiku’s face, the bright flush of alcohol adorned on her cheeks was no longer as attractive as it had been before but instead seemed to be a warning. Toshiro swallowed thickly, taking out his phone and sending off a quick text. He’d watch out for her and be at her side in an instant if she needed him.

‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ Rangiku reached out and patted Toshiro’s head, ‘I promised the groom a dance.’

Hearing Ichigo call out “Yas Queen” was something that would be burned into his long term memory forever. He watched, jaw slack and eyes full of a combination of amusement and concern as Ichigo and Rangiku made their way out to the floor. There were several things to note, one that Ichigo was a terrible dancer but Toshiro had already known that. The other was that despite being drunk Rangiku could pull off quite a few Beyoncé moves. His eyes, which were full of concern over his date tripping or stumbling on the dance floor, were now taking in the movements of her hips instead. Really he should have been mortified by his own thoughts but he was still a man at the end of the day, just not a very tall one. He felt a blush on his face as he put the shot of vodka back down on the table, he really shouldn’t be drinking in the subtle and not so subtle movement of her hips or how that dress clung to her like a sin.

He swallowed and quickly tore his eyes away from Rangiku for a second to watch Ichigo attempt the worm… it was a disaster which was a shame because he started off so well. The staff were distracted by a broken glass on the dance floor in the background and Renji had come out to help Rangiku pull Ichigo up off the floor. Somewhere in amidst it all Isshin had been dragged off by his daughter for his awful dancing, and now Ganju was using the mop the staff had brought out as a poll for his own terrible poll dancing techniques.

His eyes made their way back to Rangiku who was now making her way back over to him. He swallowed thickly and smiled at her. She reached out and grabbed his hand and his mind went blank, it was another instance of physical contact initiated by her but his eyes were scanning her face. She was clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.

‘Hi,’ she greeted him excitedly, ‘do you want to come get some water with me?’

‘Yes let’s, that sounds like a great idea,’ he reached over to pick up her jacket and her bag for her, aware that people around them were retiring and they’d probably have to do the same soon. Rukia and Yukio were now nowhere to be seen.

They moved towards the bar where a jug of water sat with glasses available to anyone and Rangiku dug right in. A little spill from the jug landed on the table before Rangiku managed to eyeball the glass well enough to actually pour an actual glass of water. He was setting her coat and bag down neatly on the stool beside them and watched as she drunk her way through the first full glass of water. He breathed a small sigh of relief because actually water would help sober her up and stop a horrible hangover the next morning.

‘How amazing is water?’ Rangiku asked, giggling, ‘it’s so underrated. I think it’s my favourite drink, except maybe wine. Okay no, definitely wine, and then water… and then maybe tea? Or coffee? No, tea. Tequila’s good too but boy can she turn on you.’

‘Water is great,’ he smiled feeling a little endeared by her drunken chat, she seemed like a happy drunk even if “tequila could turn on you”. He listened with a small affectionate smile on his face.

‘Oh I’m talking too much now,’ she pouted, slowly sipping on her second glass of water, ‘I should probably go home, I guess. How far is the train station from here? Maybe I should get a taxi?’ he flinched as she said it.  

‘Well,’ he shook his head, ‘you’re taking my room here. I’m not going to let you go back when I myself cannot personally escort you to see you’ve returned safely.’ He jerked his head in the direction of the rooms above them, ‘you can take the bed I’ll sleep on the floor. It will save you having to worry about going home tonight.’  

He saw the frown as she gazed into the water and instantly knew what was going through her mind and he hated it. He hated not being able to provide for her and have her fully trust him because how much someone else had hurt her… well actually he’d hurt her too.

She’d be safer in a room with him than stumbling home in that crappy block of flats. She seemed to debate for a moment before agreeing. He continued to frown even after she admitted that it was a good idea, he knew she didn’t fully believe that but he was selfish enough to run with it because it was what he believed.

‘Come on,’ he said picking her things up again, he was secure enough in himself to throw her bag over his shoulder to free up one of his hands. He gently took her hand and led her back to the room where they’d spoken last night. He opened the door and was pleased to see that the extra bedding he’d emailed off about had been delivered to the room as well as a pair of pajama’s. He wasn’t sure what size she was, so he’d just requested a medium and hoped they’d fit. It wasn’t like she could wear any of his things which did bruise his ego a little but he was far too short and scrawny. He sometimes had to buy things from the children’s section but he’d never admit that to anyone.

‘There’s a set of pajama’s I had delivered,’ he said nodding to the bed, ‘the bathroom is all yours, take as long as you need.’ He turned away to give her a bit of privacy while he went about laying out the bedding on the floor.

He wasn’t aware of what was happening until he heard the slide of fabric down the slightly cheap wallpaper. He turned when alarm bells started ringing in his head to see Rangiku practically curled up on the floor with her back against the wall in a foetal position.

‘Please no,’ Rangiku gasped, covering her eyes and clearly reliving something very traumatic, ‘no, no, no, no, please no.’

It felt like someone had reached into his chest and started to crush his heart and he quickly leapt up from the floor. Guilt shot through him and made his throat feel tight, this was _his_ fault. Because he didn’t want her to go back to her home, he was the reason she was now clearly in the middle of a panic attack. He slipped out of his jacket and was bent down by her side in an instant.

‘Rangiku?’ he whispered her name, he wasn’t sure how much physical contact she wanted since he knew what had likely caused the sudden change in mood, ‘I’m so sorry, I can take you home if you’d prefer? I can get the taxi and have it wait for me outside once I know you’re home safe? You don’t have to be here with me.’ He reached out hesitantly with his hand and gently touched the back of her hand with his, ‘I’m sorry Rangiku, I didn’t mean to upset you.’ He continued to stroke the back of her hand delicately with his fingertips wondering if he could distract her from the poisonous her mind was throwing out the same way she had helped him that very day with his speech.

A million thoughts rushed through his head, maybe he’d be better getting Isshin? Maybe he’d know what to do? Would Rangiku want another man in the room though? Maybe Yuzu or Karin would have been better or one of the women from her team? No… no one wants their subordinates to see them in a state of total panic that wouldn’t be fair, Yuzu was a doctor she made much more sense. Settling on his decision he nodded to himself, ‘I’ll go and get Yuzu! She’ll know what to do.’

He was just about to stand when an iron tight grip closed around his wrist and kept him in place.

‘No, please, don’t go!’ Rangiku yelped, her pleas for him not to leave resonating with that deep protection inside of him. His eyes softened and he reached out for her. ‘I’m fine,’ she breathed, trying to collect herself, ‘I just need a minute. Please stay with me, I don’t want to go home… tell me a secret?’

Leaning back against the wall he did his best to pull her into his side so that he could wrap an arm around her and rest her head on his shoulder. He was silent for a while as he thought, she was looking for a distraction clearly. She already knew the majority of his secrets and he didn’t want to bombard her with another depressing story that’s not what she needed right now. There was one secret he’d worked out a few weeks ago but hadn’t had the guts to admit to anyone… maybe it would amuse her.

‘One time,’ he started, ‘when I was about thirteen, I’d been getting bullied because of my white hair so I tried to dye it black. After saving up my pocket money I bought the wrong dye and got that horrible black blue colour which just ended up being an even lighter blue in my hair. I don’t think the colour stuck very well, my hair is difficult to dye another colour. So the colour wasn’t even close to black.’ He chuckled, ‘when I went into School the other kids were laughing at me but that’s actually when I first met Ichigo. He stood up for me and it was how we started speaking. We didn’t realise that I was actually friends with his sister Karin because we played football together.’ He cleared his throat, ‘anyway I can’t remember how long after it was but I remembered Karin talking about their babysitter and how girly she was. When we were walking back from football practice one day I actually saw you.

‘I didn’t make the connection for a while, only recently in fact but I’m sure it was you now that Isshin and Ichigo confirmed you were their babysitter. I just remembered that she was beautiful with long strawberry blond hair and I didn’t know what to do with myself so I hid in the bush in the other neighbour’s garden. Karin made fun of me for it for weeks and I tried to avoid coming around when you were there because I knew she’d say something to you if I did.’

She was fidgeting with one of his shirt buttons and he let her. The shirt had been new so the button was a little stiff and not quite easy to remove so he didn’t have any concern over her breaking it or popping it by accident. Not that he really had a concern over those things to begin with considering it was making her feel better. Her voice sounded a little stronger when she spoke.

‘You know I never really got the whole ‘crush’ thing,’ Rangiku started, her voice still a little shaky but definitely improving, ‘my friend Orihime had crushes all the time, and still does. Like every week it was another guy and she would turn into an absolute mess around them. She’d even act dumber and I just never understood that. Then our other friend Nanao had her first crush ever on our history teacher, and she was normally so composed and serious but as soon as she saw him, she just turned to goo. She’d be bright red all through class and always stutter around him, she said she couldn’t control it.’

Her friends were important to her and thus they were important to Toshiro, he noted everything she said about them and filed it away into his brain. He could relate a lot more to Nanao’s story. He never ever got crushes, just that one time when he was thirteen and had come to the realisation that the “icky” stuff he’d seen on TV was real and now. Even as he sat in such close proximity to Rangiku he could feel his heart doing erratic things in his chest. He was normally composed when it came to people, just like Nanao with the history teacher.

When she turned her attention towards him looking into his eyes he could feel that weird butterfly feeling in his stomach again, his heart beating twice as fast as it did even after three reps of twenty push-ups.

‘So I guess I understood what it looked like, but I never really felt it,’ Rangiku murmured, shrugging a little. ‘Until you, I think you are my first crush.’ She admitted and he couldn’t stop the reaction. His heart felt like it stopped in his chest and then sped up double time, if possible even faster than before. He felt the heat, which had been receding over the course of her stories, resurface again and he felt completely tongue tied. He wanted to say something really cool, something that would make her like him more but he wasn’t a smooth talking business man, he never had been. He needed a minute to compose himself so with his free arm that wasn’t currently wrapped around her he captured the hand that had been playing idly with his shirt button and raised it slowly to his lips brushing them gently against it and letting the feeling of her soft warm skin soothe away some of his own anxiety.

‘It’s hard to believe,’ he muttered feeling embarrassed about making eye contact with her, ‘that you were my first and last crush.’ He had hoped it came out a lot more confident than it sounded in his mind as he spoke, his voice still seemed a little shaky with the racing of his own heart. He could feel the blood rushing passed his eardrums. ‘My last because I can’t imagine caring for anyone else the way I care for you, nor would I ever want to.’ He swallowed thickly then turned to meet her eyes again. His eyes flickered for a moment down to her lips and back he wanted to kiss her but he wasn’t sure if the timing was at all appropriate. It wasn’t like he was a psychologist that could judge the situation and he wasn’t experienced enough to know when the right time to kiss the girl of your dreams after her emotional breakdown was.

‘So if we are each other’s crushes, what does that mean for us?’ Rangiku asked softly, glancing away, ‘what does that mean for you and international business work?’ He paused for a moment to consider it. He’d been so worried about just meeting her and all the possible outcomes of that event; would she like him? Would she think he was ugly? Too short? Too thin? Maybe she wouldn’t like his weird white hair or find his eyes alarmingly too big. He’d not really stopped to consider what happened beyond that if she did like him. Now here he was with the two of them admitting strong feelings for each other, directly to each other’s’ face. He contemplated for a moment, watching how her attention turned to the carpet. The hand of hers he held in his own he continued to rub soothing circles into her soft skin.

‘I will still travel with Yukio,’ he said, ‘but not nearly as much as I have been. Truth is we only went travelling for conventions but it gave me an excuse to stay away. Now I have reason to be here.’ He started stroking gently up her thumb, idly as he continued to think, ‘the other members of my team have seen me now since Ichigo invited them all to the wedding. There’s no denying that they’ll have recognised my voice after all our monthly one to ones, so maybe I’ll start doing them face to face. I likely won’t come into the office as much as I trust my team I don’t know about some of the younger members of the office. So I’ll likely rent out another small office space and host my meetings there, somewhere close to the Zeltrix building. When Yukio is invited to a panel or event, I’ll jump on a plane and go with him but it won’t be for any more than a week at a time I’m sure.’ He contemplated for a while, ‘I may have to travel on business from time to time, and it’s unavoidable. However I’d like to think that if you’re free you’ll come with me?’

‘Can we take the private jet?’ she grinned up at him cheekily. He barked a laugh at her question pleased that she seemed to be over the worst of her panic attack. It was a fair question and he grinned at her.

‘Well I do usually take the Jet everywhere,’ he chuckled, ‘so it would make sense, but I do have one condition.’ He paused for a moment for dramatic effect, aware that the way he was twisting wasn’t that comfortable but not really caring that much. It’s likely they’d be moving soon since she seemed to have calmed down. ‘My condition, is that I get to put a picture of you on my memory board of the jet.’

He hadn’t realised how cheesy it sounded until he said it out loud. It actually sounded a lot cooler and smoother in his head and he flushed a little after saying it. Maybe he’d had more alcohol than he thought.

‘I think we can arrange that,’ she said smiling softly. Then her tone changed as she continued to speak. ‘I know that you wouldn’t… f-force, or pressure me in any way, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to have… to have, um, sex.’ She swallowed on that last word and her voice went unnaturally high in pitch. ‘I just… I just don’t know when I’ll be ready,’ she shrugged, ‘it might be soon but it might not be and I can’t know for sure when, but um, I wanted to let you know that before, before you agreed to anything?’

Suddenly the entire night made sense. She hadn’t wanted to not be beside him, she’d been worried about being intimate with him. Of course it made sense now that he understood it, her last time had obviously been quite traumatic, not that Toshiro knew the entire ins and outs of her personal life but he had realised that she likely hadn’t been with anyone after Gin. She’d never mentioned anyone else to him and she’d moved companies almost right away.

Toshiro also realised that he wasn’t at all ready, he hadn’t expected her words to make him blush so much but they did, she was just being honest. He kept his hand linked to hers but drew his feet into his body making himself as small as possible.

‘Don’t worry about that,’ he said, his voice at least sounding a little more confident than hers, ‘I didn’t realise tonight that you thought that may have been my intention.’ He continued to play idly with her hand, pleased that they still had some kind of connection, if she’d pulled away entirely he’d have felt a little hurt. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for an intimate relationship,’ he felt pathetic even admitting it out loud. He could hear a chant of “pathetic little virgin” ringing in his ears and did his very best to ignore it. It was the anxiety part of his brain. He’d already admitted to Rangiku where he stood in terms of intimacy with another person, this wasn’t news to her. ‘I’m happy to wait, for as long as you’d like. I can’t imagine being intimate with a partner unless we were well and truly ready. I just like kissing you.’ He admitted with a shy shrug, feeling heat creep back up his face. He felt like a child admitting he had a crush on someone rather than an adult who literally ran one of the biggest companies in the world.

‘Maybe we could just start with another date and take it from there?’

‘Another date would be nice,’ she said and Toshiro only had a split second before her lips were on his and her fingers threading back into his hair. He gasped at the feeling as it was an assault from both directions, his mouth opened against hers and her breath infiltrating his mouth making him dizzy. The fingers in his hair was causing his brain to short circuit and there was a few seconds of unresponsiveness before he was gently pressing back. He was tentative at first, just gently moving his mouth against her, revelling in the feeling of her soft wet lips. It made his erratic heart beat even faster, she’d initiated it and wanted to kiss him even after spending all day with him. She still found him attractive enough to initiate this level of physical contact. At first he didn’t really know what to do with his hands, they remained planted at his sides completely unsure what to do with himself. He didn’t want to risk touching her and for her to think that he was trying to initiate something more. Also without use of his eyes he was worried he’d touch the wrong place, how did humans do this? He wasn’t skilled enough to navigate this. He decided to let her lead mostly, wanting her to feel in control and comfortable, knowing she could stop at any time and when she finally pulled away, he caught his own lip gently between his teeth relishing in the last taste of her. His eyes opening and his pupils blown wide, she’s just literally taken his breath away. ‘Gods,’ he gasped his voice a lot lower, ‘I’ll never get tired of that.’

She chuckled and moved away from him to stand. He stood up as well, his hands coming up to help her when she groaned. Clearly still a little intoxicated from the ridiculous amount of alcohol Ichigo had ploughed her with.

She didn’t need his help though and he retracted his hands as she walked towards the bed and picked up the sleepwear he’d arranged for her. She turned and winked at him and it sent a flutter of butterflies swirling back around his stomach and he cast his blushing gaze back down to the floor as she wandered off into the bathroom to get dressed.

Taking full advantage of the private moment he pulled a pair of his own grey tracksuit bottoms out of his suitcase and threw them on along with a plain white t-shirt. He then turned his attention back to the bed he was laying out and proceeded to do so. That kiss had not been consent to sleep in the same bed as her, it would never be his intent to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable or like she wasn’t fully in charge of the situation.

Quite comfortable with his little makeshift bed he slipped his legs under the covers and sat on his phone until she came out of the bathroom.

‘Well I have successfully gotten drunk and danced in front of you on the first date,’ she cringed, ‘not to mention that stunning panic attack. That’s probably enough embarrassment for one night,’ she continued with a sigh, ‘we should probably get to bed before I can tell you all about my sock collection.’

He grinned at the idea of her having a sock collection, but she hadn’t embarrassed herself half as much as she let on. Toshiro wasn’t even sure why she should be embarrassed.

‘Take it from someone who suffers regular anxiety attacks, you should never feel embarrassed about having an attack in front of me.’ He stated firmly locking his phone and setting it aside. ‘And tomorrow, I expect to hear all about this sock collection of yours.’ He smirked up at her and then his eyes softened. Even in those standard white hotel pyjamas’ she looked stunning and flawless. They didn’t hug any curves like her dress had but the relaxed look made her look softer and less intimidating.

‘If you get uncomfortable down there, I won’t mind if you want to sleep up here,’ Rangiku murmured as she climbed onto the bed and slipped under the covers, ‘goodnight, Toshiro,’ she yawned, rolling over.

‘Goodnight Rangiku.’ He said back and waited for a moment before settling himself down into the covers.

 

* * *

 

 Toshiro had been falling into a light sleep, he never really slept well when he had more than just one whisky to drink. His mind done that horrible thing when you closed your eyes it felt like you were moving, spinning around but thankfully it wasn’t too severe. He rolled onto his left side and eventually it calmed down enough to let him doze in and out of a sleep but never entering a fully deep sleep.

When Rangiku started gasping and mumbling in her sleep he woke almost immediately. He quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes his first thought that the alcohol was making her unwell. Then he glanced towards the bed where the girl had been sitting upright but now lay back down and he could hear the quiet little sobs, they literally broke his heart. She was still having nightmares, he should have been prepared for one tonight after everything that had happened earlier. It was likely that her panic attack had kept everything at the forefront of her mind as she’d tried to fall asleep. He peeled back the white cover and pushed himself to his feet. The hotel room was dark but not pitch black. There was enough light filtering through the pale curtains for him to easily see. He made his way around not wanting to startle her and sat down on the very edge of her bed, gently reaching out a comforting hand.

‘Rangiku?’ he whispered, ‘are you alright?’ he asked. It was a stupid question because of course she wasn’t okay. He almost winced at it, ‘was it a bad dream? It’s okay you’re here with me.’ He hoped it would be enough as he reached out with his thumb to gently wipe a tear away from the side of her face. She shuffled over to him and lay her head down against his shoulder. He moved his hand to gently brush a strand of hair away from her face

‘Just a small one,’ she answered thickly, ‘I’m really sorry I woke you.’ He wasn’t even sure if someone could have a small bad dream, either it was a bad one or it wasn’t. She was likely just trying to make him feel better, he frowned, she didn’t need to do that.

‘Remember I’m here for you if you ever need anything,’ he said, his voice strong and sincere. ‘You don’t need to hide a panic attack or a bad dream from me.’ He turned and did his best to aim a kiss for her forehead but mostly got the side of her temple. His eyes flickered to the little alarm clock behind her, it was well after 3am. ‘Try and go back to sleep, I’ll be right over there if you need me.’ He figured he could stay awake and wait for her to fall asleep again before trying himself. Besides he hadn’t exactly been sleeping well that night anyway and had no plans to get a decent night’s sleep.

“Stay with me?” Rangiku asked, squeezing her arms, “Please? I d-don’t want to be alone.”

Toshiro felt two arms snake around his waist with quite a firm grip. He stalled for a second, the warmth cutting through the thin fabric of his night shirt with ease. The plea in her voice slicing through him and he soon relaxed. 

'Of course,' he said, moving closer and encouraging her to lie back down. there wasn't a lot of room on the edge of the bed but at least if she decided halfway through the night him being there was making her uncomfortable she could roll away and have the rest of her bed to herself. He slipped under the covers beside her, his body dangerously close to the edge but he didn't really plan on sleeping anyway. 'I won't leave you, not for as long as you need me.'

She clearly wasn’t happy with how close he was to the end of the bed and pulled him closer to her and into the centre before cuddling into him.

‘Thank you,’ she mumbled, lowering her head onto his chest, and throwing an arm across his body.

He stayed awake with a smile on his face until she fell asleep, silently watching over her. His hand absently stroking her arm as he listened to her breaths evening out. Though he loathed the circumstances that brought her to him, he was incredibly blessed that she’d walked into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Would appreciate any comments on this chapter!!!


	7. Revelations and Understandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demons are confronted and their relationship shifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay team :D we hope you enjoy this chapter!!

_Yukio was obviously elated that he could finally unload all of his sexual experience onto Toshiro. He’d demanded a guy’s night, which Rukia was still present for and the two of them talked Toshiro through everything. And when he said everything, he meant everything._

_‘A lot of people think the female g-spot is a myth,’ he instructed Toshiro, while the white haired man wanted to crawl into a hole, his face on fire. ‘But it’s not, it’s found just a couple of inches inside, if you curl your fingers just right.’_

_This was obviously followed by diagrams on google images and Rukia explaining further that it was easier to find if the woman was turned on. They both went on to talk about the importance of the clit, how to find it and Yukio offered to demonstrate on Rukia which earned him a sharp punch to the arm by the raven haired girl._

_Despite that, Rukia was looking more and more flushed as the topic of conversation dragged on, her mouth parting at the very obvious knowledge that Yukio had and the night ended with her dragging him off to his bedroom. Toshiro quickly made his way to his own and turned his music up loud because that was something he just didn’t need to hear._

_Those lessons would not easily be forgotten, burned into his mind like a hot iron fist. He may have spent a couple of extra hours on google that night brushing up on the knowledge supplied to him by his two best friends._

When the day of the date arrived, Toshiro sat down at a table outside a high end restaurant. It went against every fibre of his body of wanting to be tucked away and hidden from sight but actually he was feeling really good today. The sun was beaming down on the busy streets and the amicable chatter of people walking to and from their destinations was soothing to him. Besides Rangiku’s hair always looked better with the sunlight scintillating off of it. His entire day had been taken up with face to face meetings with his staff in charge, though in another building and he’d resisted the urge to ask them to sign an NDA. An NDA didn’t exactly scream; ‘I trust you.’

He took off his black suit jacket and hung it over the chair behind him, picking up his menu and glancing down at the words and pictures as he waited. He glanced up every so often to make sure he didn’t miss Rangiku when she arrived. She was meeting him after work so he’d selected a place that was still high end (he wanted to show off slightly) but easy enough for her to walk to. It was only three blocks away.

He’d changed at new little office he was renting before coming, opting for something a little formal but with no tie. He’d scowled when Yukio recommended the bowtie to him, bringing back horrible memories of that day in New York.

His eyes kept skimming the sea of people for a familiar sign of bright strawberry blonde hair when he spotted it.

Rangiku looked stunning just as she always did and approached him with a bright and chirpy ‘hey handsome’ and a wink which caused his face to heat up. If he hadn’t known better he’d have said that was her intention, the twinkle in her eye basically confirming this theory. He was stood as she approached the table and walked over to bring her seat out for her.

‘Hello beautiful,’ he mumbled still a little shy at the use of nick names. Despite them having been on a couple of makeshift dates including him taking her to the arcade where he and Yukio had once spoken about the idea of owning their own gaming company. He made sure she was seated comfortably before making his way back around to his seat. ‘How was your day?’

‘Very busy,’ Rangiku chuckled, ‘I can’t wait to have Ichigo back on Monday.’

He smiled a little at the comment, bringing his glass of water to his lips and taking a sip. It was amazing how much Ichigo clearly had been helping despite his disaster diet. ‘How was yours?’ she asked, ‘all the executives were excited to meet you, but they’ve all agreed to keep it quiet from their teams out of respect.’

As she said it he relaxed, he knew that his team were taking his privacy with respect. The meetings had gone well, he’d address it right off the bat to break the ice and settle things down, everyone seemed really keen and excited to see him. Everyone except Byakuya who had went straight on to talking about business, but Toshiro hadn’t expected anything less from him.

‘It was good,’ he smiled leaning back in the chair, very casually. The cool air on a sunny winter day in Japan doing so much to ease his anxiety, ‘I’m glad they’ve all said that. I managed to get through a huge chunk of the one to one’s today. I still have to meet with my Marketing lead though,’ he grinned, ‘she was a bit busy today.’

 

He was dappling in flirting, it was a complex science and there was so much to take into account; body language and tone were just as important, if not more so, than what you were actually saying.

‘I’m sure she could have made time for you,’ Rangiku replied, her eyes darting across his face, ‘I’ve heard she has a bit of a crush on the boss.’

He couldn’t help but flush at her comment. It was silly how such a phrase could make his heart stutter and all logical thinking slip from his mind and yet she did it with ease. That was obviously the effects of an expert flirter and he’d seen Yukio do it many times before, wondering how girl after girl could fall for his charms. Now sitting across from Rangiku it was very easy to see how those girls were left speechless and like putty in his hands.

‘Well that’s good,’ he tried to put on his best CEO voice as he signalled for the waiter to come over, ‘people might talk.’ He chuckled and gestured for Rangiku to order first, since it was only polite.

She ordered the risotto and Toshiro simply ordered some gyoza, having been craving them since he’d last had them which was well over a year ago. They were relatively easy to eat with chopsticks even if he was a little out of practice. Once the order was placed the waiter made a quick retreat, and Toshiro smiled; he’d missed the formality and respect of the Japanese culture. He picked up his glass of water again and sipped, knowing he wouldn’t be drinking so he could ensure that Rangiku got home safely, and decided to carry on one of their conversations about getting to know her while they waited for their food to arrive.

‘So you do believe in ghosts?’ he asked with a soft smile.

Rangiku launched into an explanation about why she did indeed believe, telling him about the ghosts she woke up too playing bridge in her living room. Apparently one was called Mavis.

Toshiro pursed his lips at her story to stop himself from laughing at her. However it was difficult, he only just managed. He could absolutely see Rangiku with an old lady ghost called Mavis. It just made so much sense in his head.

‘Maybe when I next come over I’ll bring her a tea cosy,’ he mumbled into his own glass of water as the waiter brought over their food. ‘I don’t think it’s weird,’ he said picking up his pair of chopsticks and doing his best after months of eating with a fork. He’d now taken to keeping forks in his own apartment in Tokyo because they were just so much easier to use. ‘I like to believe there’s more to life after we leave here as well. I had one ghostly experience with my grandmother and it helped me to let go.’ He chewed thoughtfully for a while before continuing, ‘she came to me one night in a half dream but I could have sworn it was real. She told me not to follow my heart until my head was sorted out. I never really knew what that meant before, but I guess now it makes a lot more sense. She only said that to me, nothing else, then she was gone.’

Toshiro accepted her hand as it danced across the table and smiled brightly down at where their fingers were laced. He tried to think about introducing Rangiku to his grandmother and how that may have gone down. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, his grandmother would probably have been taken aback by her grandsons obvious taste in women. Though after the initial shock he was sure his grandmother would have come to love Rangiku.

‘I wish I could have met her,’ Rangiku murmured, ‘I would have loved to have seen where your impeccable politeness comes from.’

‘I think she’d have loved you,’ he muttered his cheeks dusting pink once more as he finally lifted his gaze to meet her eyes, ‘after the initial shock of course. You’re so beautiful she’d probably have thought I’d borrowed you off the street to appease her so she could die peacefully.’ He chuckled because he could see his grandmother saying something along those lines and the image was hilarious.

‘We would have been best friends,’ Rangiku laughed, ‘old ladies love me; I love knitting and-‘

He was grinning like a fool as she told him how she’d have been best friends with his gran, his ears perking about the knitting when she cut off her eyes targeting something in the distance. Her sudden stop alarmed him and he quickly whipped his head around, it only took him but a split second to spot him; Gin. The snake clocked them sitting at the table and a wicked, sickening grin spread over his face as he made his way over. Toshiro hated it, it was like a hungry lion spotting a helpless foal. He turned in time to hear Rangiku begging him to leave.

‘Y-you need to go,’ she stated firmly, her voice unfamiliar to her own ears, ‘quickly, Toshiro. Gin’s here and he’s coming over. If he recognises you as the waiter in New York he could work out who you are and expose you.’ Her genuine concern over his identity causing his heart to thud in his chest, but of course he wouldn’t leave her. Instead he was up off his seat and abruptly beside her, blocking Gins direct path. ‘Please go,’ Rangiku begged, ‘I’ll be fine, he won’t try anything here.’

‘You were in public before and that didn’t stop him,’ he reminded her under his breath, his hand coming up to gently touch her back. He began to rub soothing circles through her shirt as Gin approached. ‘From now on whatever happens, we face it together.’ He said, his eyes narrowed dangerously in Gins direction.

‘What’s this, Ran-chan?’ Gin hissed, red eyes flickering down to Toshiro who stood between them, expression livid, ‘Don’t tell me you’re on a date now? I thought I made it clear who ya belonged to.’ Toshiro didn’t get a chance to reply as the man stepped to the side to get a better look at where Rangiku was hidden away behind him. ‘Oh look, she’s gone and cut off her tits,’ Gin mocked, laughing without humour, ‘that was ya best feature, Ran-chan. Didya really think that would make ya look like less of a _slut?_ ’

Toshiro couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn’t even begin to fathom how someone could be so vile, especially a public figure such as Gin. It wasn’t at all like he was hidden from the public eye but it seemed his eyes were only for Rangiku as he said the most horrible things directly to her face, he wasn’t at all aware of the surrounding crowds pulling their phones out to record him. Toshiro’s eyes narrowed dangerously, it would not do him or his reputation well to break Gin’s jaw right now and yet that was what he wanted to do more than anything to stop him being able to say anything worse.

‘Fuck off Ichimaru,’ Toshiro warned, his voice low and full of danger. He could practically feel Rangiku cowering beside him and had to wonder what on earth she saw in this vile human to begin with. ‘Leave us be.’

“And who the fuck do ya think ya are, midget?” Gin snapped.

The urge to protect Rangiku was so powerful, it was like a physical manifestation, making him feel taller and more powerful than he was. Gin didn’t scare him, for some reason when provoked or backed into a corner with someone else to protect that was when he realised his own strength. He glared up at Gin through thick eyelashes. If he could distract Gin with something, then Gin’s attention could remain on him and he’d leave Rangiku alone.

‘Your biggest rival,’ he snarled at the man, ‘in every sense of the word.’ 

‘Alright ya short shit,’ Gin chuckled, ‘what are ya gonna do with her? Climb her like a tree?’

The comment about climbing Rangiku he flushed a little at, not because he was anxious about the height difference but because it was so incredibly obvious to others as well.

‘Gin, please,’ Rangiku tried to stop him.

‘Bitch, I’m talkin’,’ the silver haired snake spat at her and she shrunk away before he turned back to Toshiro, ‘Don’t make me laugh, Kid, Ran-chan might be a dumb blonde but even she knows who can really satisfy her.’ The wink he sent her made her recoil. ‘Ya aint my rival,’ Gin laughed again, ‘Nobody is.’

Gritting his teeth against his instincts Toshiro took a deep breath. Something deep and primal inside of him wanting nothing more than to cause the man in front of him physical pain. He knew if this kept up it was only a matter of time and even though it would have really made his Granny displeased he also knew that secretly his Granny would have wanted him to do something more.

Perhaps that was the reason his next comment flew from his mouth.

‘This amazing blonde,’ he corrected Gin, ‘is now responsible for Zeltrix’s sales doubling in the last few months. It’s been a delight watching your company fall as game after game swaps onto our platform.’ He angled his body a little more so that Rangiku was completely behind him again. He knew that Gin could get physically violent and if he were to lose his temper, Toshiro would much rather take the hit. ‘Perhaps instead of harassing and sexually assaulting members of the public you’d be best placing your time back into your own development, both as a person and as a CEO.’

Toshiro could see the clogs turning in Gins mind.

‘The conference… the waiter,’ Gin muttered as he slowly worked things out, ‘you were there- you…’

‘I’m sorry,’ Rangiku whispered to Toshiro, ‘I’m so so sorry, Toshiro.’

‘You’re the Zeltrix CEO,’ Gin uttered disbelievingly as Rangiku’s grip tightened, ‘Hyorinmaru.’

He felt Rangiku’s arms wrap around him from behind and her apology in his ear but he knew what he’d done. He wasn’t stupid, the good thing about it all now though was that Gins attention was solely focused on him and not Rangiku. Which is exactly what he’d wanted. Rather than resorting to physical violence, if he did that he’d be no better than Ichimaru himself.

‘That’s right,’ he snarled, ‘I am Hyorinmaru and the waiter who threw champagne all over you for your disgusting sexual advances on a woman,’ he glared up at Gin, feeling strength flowing into him from the beautiful woman behind him. He didn’t want to personally name Rangiku because it wasn’t his place to admit something like that, it wasn’t his secret to share. ‘How about you do yourself a favour and don’t damage your companies’ reputation anymore by turning around and walking away?’

So what if his secret was out, he didn’t care. Instead it felt better knowing that the world was seeing Gin in the light he was currently portraying himself in. A beat of silence passed before Gin burst out laughing.

‘Ya Hyorinmaru?’ Gin wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes, ‘you? Ya like, what? Thirteen? Ya even had your first erection yet?’

Toshiro took the comments from Gin and felt like each one stabbed him in the chest. Though he still wouldn’t trade his position for the world, he’d rather that Gin directed his jealousy and hatred towards him rather than Rangiku. The woman had suffered enough at the hands of the abusive man. He made no move to stand up for himself. He simply winced and felt an embarrassed flush rise in his cheeks as the older male began to laugh condescendingly at him. That’s when Rangiku spoke up and stepped around Toshiro.

‘That’s enough, Gin,’ she said firmly, ‘Go home. Walk away and we’ll forget this.’

‘Ya gonna defend him, Ran-chan? After all I’ve done for ya?’ Gin asked, voice rising as he pointed an accusing finger at her. ‘You were my woman,’ Gin hissed, enunciating his words with thick venom, accent going in and out, ‘I proved that to ya when I fucked you across my desk.’

‘That wasn’t consensual and you knew that,’ Rangiku said coldly, ‘I begged you to stop.’

‘You were asking for it,’ the snake snarled, ‘how dare you-‘

‘I told you no,’ Rangiku interrupted quickly, ‘I did not ask for it.’

Toshiro couldn’t believe his ears as he listened to Rangiku and Gins exchange, he wanted so many times to interject but what Rangiku was doing had taken so much courage, he didn’t want to shatter it. He watched, mouth slightly open in shock as Rangiku finally took her stand against Gin and even though the snake’s entire focus was on her she stood her ground in a way Toshiro had never seen her do before. It was incredibly powerful to watch. As the discussion progressed Toshiro stayed where he was, Rangiku didn’t need his help anymore, she was closing over all the doors on her own and it filled him with pride. Gin seemed to have not noticed nor cared about the cameras around them and seemed to not give a single thought about what this interaction would do to his brand. Toshiro pushed the thought from his mind, the last thing he needed to do was think about what his own public image was now doing to his brand, if he even had a brand at the end of it. His heart thudded at the thought and he forced himself to focus on Rangiku and how strong and beautiful she looked right now.

The manager eventually came over and asked Gin to leave and that was when Toshiro saw remorse in his gaze.  Without causing even more of a scene, Gin quickly fled. Toshiro would have felt a little sorry for the other CEO if he hadn’t treated Rangiku so badly. He was pleased he’d managed to restrain himself from throwing a punch or worse at the other male, now that it seemed there was a lot more to his emotional state than Toshiro first thought. It was very clear that Gin had an unhealthy obsession over Rangiku and Toshiro couldn’t really blame him, already he’d been reduced to a horrible mess and at the woman’s mercy all because of his own feelings. The tension around the quiet restaurant slowly lifted as everyone started to come out of their stupor. Toshiro quickly turned to the management and the other diners bowing lowly.

‘Please forgive me for causing a scene, please go back to eating your meals. I will cover the bills of everyone here as an apology to the customers and staff.’ He gestured quickly for the manager who came closer so he could whisper to him and let the customers go back to their meals.

‘Really, you don’t have to do that,’ the manager said, ‘it wasn’t you that caused the scene.’

‘Please,’ Toshiro said quickly, ‘it would make me feel much better.’ The manager finally swayed and accepted the generous payment. When the manager started to leave Toshiro turned back to Rangiku.

‘Rangiku I am so sorry,’ he said finally, ‘let me take you back to mine and out of the public,’ he flinched a little at the statement knowing that there were still people around with their phones out and their cameras subtly being pointed in their direction.

Without answering him verbally at first Rangiku simply nodded her head, reached out and took his hand before dragged him out of the restaurant and away from the eyes and ears. She seemed so wrapped up that they took a different turn away from the direction of his car when she finally spoke.

‘Do you mind if we swing by mine quickly?’ she asked, ‘I need to feed the cat.’ Her voice sounded steady and firm, she sounded stronger than he felt. Toshiro started to fidget with the bottom of his shirt with his other hand. He took a deep breath.

He’d promised his therapist to ask for help when he needed it.

‘Yukio is leaving at 2am for a convention in Kyoto and I don’t really want to be alone…’ he said quickly, ‘of course I’d understand if you did want to be alone but I have a feeling all of this is going to blow up over the next few days and the thought of facing it alone.’ He flinched, he could feel his anxiety grabbing at his chest now that Rangiku was out of danger, there wasn’t anything left to distract him.

‘I have a guest room, if you’d stay with me tonight and maybe the next? You can bring Haineko with you? She can stay too.’ He knew he was maybe coming across as a bit pathetic but he was trying his best to open up and trust other people as his therapist had told him to do.

Toshiro barely registered her movements before her lips were on his. He felt her fists in his collar. His muddled slightly anxious brain felt like it was instantly cut off and the shock washed over him. He had been expecting pity, maybe a bit of light teasing but he hadn’t been expecting this. It felt like the anxious part of his brain didn’t even know how to respond. After a split second she’d parted her lips and he felt her breath infiltrate his mouth, making his head spin once again. His entire body practically going limp with inexperience. Then she was pulling away and he gazed at her with slightly dazed eyes and a flushed face.

She cupped his cheek and her next words made his heart flutter.

‘Thank you for what you did tonight,’ she said softly, ‘you have no idea what it means to me having you in my life right now.’ He hadn’t even done anything, she’d done most of the hard part, standing up to an abusive ex-boyfriend. That had taken more courage than Toshiro had shown in his entire life. He didn’t want to be scared anymore, he wanted to be brave like her. He did his best to beat back the panic that was trying to build back up again.

‘Haineko and I would love to stay with you,’ she continued, ‘for as long as you want us. I’m happy to take the spare room if you’d prefer, but if you’re up for it, I’d really love to share your room with you.’

‘You’re welcome to share my room,’ he mumbled his own hand coming up to cover hers that was still on his face. ‘Anytime, for as long as you want.’

‘As for everything else,’ Rangiku smiled and gestured vaguely in the direction of the restaurant, ‘what was it you said again? “From now on whatever happens we face it together”.’

She used his line back at him that he’d said in the restaurant and felt his heart flutter, this woman was going to be the death of him he was sure of it.

‘You’re amazing,’ he breathed out finally shaking himself free of his stupor. He didn’t even know what else to say, how did you convey how amazing someone was to you? How strong they were, how their strength and courage gave you strength and courage, did you convey all of that? There were no words for the feelings constricting his chest right now. ‘Let’s go and get the little one shall we?’ he nodded his head back towards the street they’d missed and turned to lead her towards his car.

It was only parked a couple of blocks away and was easy enough to spot, the flashiest car in the entire street. He knew he was showing off a little but he couldn’t help himself. It was a white Ferrari 488 convertible, though now he was worried about how much space they’d have to store things. Worst case scenario they could order stuff for the cat if they couldn’t fit it all in the car.

Once Rangiku had collected everything she’d need he drove the luxurious car back to the City Tower Takanawa. The underground car park had seven spots allocated to his penthouse, three of the spots filled with stupid luxurious cars; his white Ferrari, his black Mercedes and a bright orange audi R8 that was actually the exact same car used on the set of Age of Ultron. There was also a more modest blue Vauxhall Corsa shipped from Britain and randomly an Ice Cream van that Yukio had bought once to do a video in then ate all the ice cream and never used it again.

He quickly jumped out and over to Rangiku’s side to open the door for her as they arrived.

‘I didn’t have a lot else to spend money on,’ he smiled sheepishly as he gestured to his little car collection. ‘That and the ridiculous penthouse is all I’ve spent my money on.’

Before she could lean back into the car he’d already grabbed the duffel bag full of her stuff. He may have been small but he was still a gentleman and that freed her up to carry the kitten who had been meowing a little in apprehension on the journey over. He led the two girls towards the elevator, the one for the penthouses having its own totally separate elevator and got in, pressing the number for the final floor of the building and praying to god that she liked it. As soon as the elevator dinged he led her to a mahogany door with his name embroiled in gold and unlocked the door to let her in.

‘Wow,’ Rangiku whistled looking around, ‘just…. Wow.’

Toshiro watched her reaction, drinking it in eagerly as she seemed to be stunned at the sheer size of the penthouse. Maybe he was overcompensating for his lack of height buying such a large place but the basic security downstairs and in the lobby of the building meant there was very little he had to worry about. It was the building postman who brought him all his deliveries so he didn’t have to open his door to strangers, there were card keys to get into the car pack, security scans for the elevators. It was just convenient. Also standing at the top of the building and looking out over Tokyo especially at night really was a treat.

He watched as Rangiku scooped Haineko into her arms and asked for the tour.

‘Of course,’ he shrugged off his jacket and placed it across the backseat of the large corner sofa that dominated most of the room. He led her down a hallway just off from the kitchen. ‘This is my sort of collector room,’ he opened the door where a few weights were stored but the majority of the room was dedicated to things he’d bought from the set of the marvel movies, including a signed Captain America shield. She seemed pretty keen, a smile on her face as he showed it off. He turned towards the room opposite which was already open, ‘that’s the library. It’s just a small one.’ He said quickly, not wanting her to think it was going to be like something out of Beauty and the Beast. She stuck her head inside and her smile got impossibly even wider as she glanced around. When she was done he led her down the hallway a little further.

‘This one here is the central bathroom,’ the room itself was huge and boasted more of a hot tub than a bath. ‘That one’s Yukio’s room but he’s sleeping because he has to be up early for his flight, so I’ll show you that later.’ He then pointed out the other guest room which had its own bathroom and finally he opened the door to his own room.

‘This is my room,’ he mumbled shyly. It was sad, but this was his first time ever bringing a girl over and he felt nervous. The room was large and open, dominated by blacks and whites. There was the same massive floor to ceiling glass windows that looked out over the city of Tokyo. A button on the bed would close shutters down over them for privacy through the night. ‘The glass is one way,’ he pointed out, ‘no one can see in but we can see out.’ It had that naturally darkened tinge to it to suggest it was that kind of glass, ‘the bathroom isn’t actually that open,’ he said nodding towards where it looked like the bathroom was on full display, ‘as soon as you walk behind those panels and they sense movement the entire thing changes to reflect a solid wall.’ The technology fascinated him that’s why he’d gone with it, so he could find out how it worked. It really was impressive, despite him being a genius in the gaming world there were so many things he didn’t have a clue about. The room also had two desks together, which was the only real messy part of his whole room. Tools and bits of circuit boards and motherboards from computers lay scattered and dissected along the two desks. The cleaners never ever went near that area of his room.

Funnily enough it seemed to be that part of the room that Rangiku was most drawn too.

Toshiro watched almost curiously as she made her way over to the messiest area of his room and held her hand out to ghost it along all the bits and pieces of tech strewn across his desk. He felt a flush rising in his cheeks and opened his mouth to apologise for the mess when her comment caught him off guard.

‘This is my favourite part of your room,’ she murmured over her shoulder, ‘it’s just so you.’

It wasn’t even what she said but the way in which she said it. She sounded almost… sad? It was hard to tell exactly the tone she used and he looked back at the rest of his room. That’s when the realisation struck him. The rest of his room looked like a fancy hotel room, it literally could have belonged to anyone. He never really spent much time at home so he’d never really filled it with things for his own personal use except some various bits and pieces.

‘Yeah I guess it is a bit bare,’ he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, his other hand thrust deep into his pocket as his eyes glanced around his room. ‘I spend more time in Jet than I do here so I guess that has a bit more personality about it.’ He brought his hand away from his face and thrust that into his other pocket. ‘I guess I should probably change that given that I’ll be spending more time here now.’ He smiled a little at her then flinched, ‘mind you depending on how all that news goes down. Maybe we will both want to just Jet away from Tokyo.’

‘That’s tomorrow’s problem. Let’s just go to bed and sort it out in the morning?’ she suggested ‘where do you want me to set up Haineko for the night?’ she asked, holding the kitten up, ‘I was thinking the living room but I didn’t want to freak Yukio out at 2am when he suddenly finds a cat in his home.’

‘Yeah,’ he sighed and shook himself thinking about the little kitten, ‘I’d like to make sure the entire living space is safe first in case she gets stuck behind the cooker or something,’ he frowned at the tiny thing, ‘maybe the guest room is safer just now. It’s smaller and more easily controlled, also less chance of Yukio standing on her through the night.’

The last thing they needed was Yukio fumbling around in the dark and accidently standing on the tiny cat who had come to investigate what was going on. He was also sure that Haineko would feel slightly safer in a warmer closed off environment than in a big massive cold room.

Toshiro smiled at the little sleepy kitten as Rangiku woke her to tell her where she’d be spending the night. He watched the exchange and started as Rangiku walked over to him, smiling and ran a hand absently through his hair, kissing his cheek. He felt himself instantly flush, someone playing with his hair like that shouldn't create such a reaction but it did.  It was why Yukio had to cut his hair because if he went and got it done professionally he may end up in an awkward state, but that was something Rangiku could find out later.  He watched her leave the room and went to bring their bags into the bedroom. He didn't want to unpack her personal stuff but he unpacked his laptop from his bag and placed it down on the desk after moving some of his crap out the way. He heard Rangiku approach again and turned to smile at her.  'Thank you so much for today, I know you did it for your own reasons but I can't help but think that you maybe did it to protect me too.' He smiled sheepishly at her, 'and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. You could have just left me but you didn't.'

‘I would never have left you,’ Rangiku murmured, ‘because I know you would never have left me. And you didn’t, even when I told you to.’ She made her way over to his bed and sat down, gently patting the spot beside her. He made his way over and sat down.

Their height difference wasn’t as defined when they sat, she only looked about an inch or an inch and a half taller than him. It seemed most of her height must have been in her long legs which made sense, she seemed to have legs that went on for days.

‘I just – I don’t know, I feel so strongly about you… and I think I’d do almost anything to make you happy or make you smile,’ Rangiku fidgeted nervously, ‘I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to Gin if you hadn’t been with me, because any courage I had in that moment came from you. I… I-I think I’m in love with you.’

His heart stuttered in his chest. They’d danced around it before of course and he’d practically admitted it on that phone call when he was trying to convince her to be his date for Ichigo’s wedding, however hearing it outright was ten times more powerful. Her baby blue eyes were watching him for a few moments before she quickly looked away down to her feet and he recognised that body language in an instant. He’d done that many times himself when he was nervous or even afraid. He reached out with a finger and gently touched her chin, tilting her head back so she’d look at him again.

‘From the moment I heard your voice it was like someone was breathing colour into my life,’ he said, his voice strong and unwavering. ‘You’ve continued to fill it with so much colour since then. I’ve literally became a better and stronger person since I met you Rangiku because I had to be, because for once I had something I honestly wanted to work hard for. Someone I wanted to work hard for. It’s very easy for me to say I love you too because I’ve felt it for a while now, but it’s not enough. Every day I want to return all the colour to your life the same way you’ve returned colour to mine.’ He flushed a little at just how cheesy he was being, ‘except my hair it seems.’   
Had to make a joke, he had to. It was just a guy thing.

‘I love you and your hair,’ she whispered, grinning broadly and glancing at it. She leaned forward and met his lips with her own. This time he felt a little more prepared, even though the taste of her was intoxicating. She took the lead moving her lips against his and placing a hand on his leg to steady herself at the angle. She moved a hand up into his hair and he felt her nails scrape lightly against his scalp. He groaned into the kiss and she pulled away.

‘I’m ready if you are,’ Rangiku breathed against him.

It took his muddled brain a moment to register the question and a little longer to process what it actually meant. That was likely because the nails gently scraping against his scalp was causing his brain to short circuit.

‘Wha- oh?’ he blinked, his eyes opening wide and he pulled back away from her. She frowned leaning back and he quickly corrected himself. ‘Sorry, tha-that’s distracting,’ he felt his face flush as he gently took her wrist and moved it away from his hair, he turned to place a kiss on the top of the back of her hand. ‘Are you absolutely sure?’

‘Only if you want to,’ she shrugged, ‘I just want you to know that I’m ready, but of course I don’t want to rush you. I want you to be ready too.’

‘Rangiku,’ he felt the heat creep up from his chest and all the way to the tips of his ears, ‘I’m a man, we’re always ready.’ She grinned at his attempted humour lightening the situation.

‘No I’m serious Toshiro, I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.’ The smile faltered on her beautiful face, ‘no one knows how difficult that is more than me.’

‘I know,’ he moved forward and reached back out with a hand gently capturing a strand of her beautiful strawberry blonde hair, ‘I would tell you if I wasn’t ready. I have concerns though…’ the heat wasn’t leaving his face.

‘What concerns?’ she asked watching him curiously as he continued to play with the strand of her hair.

‘Well, I’m worried I won’t last long or be very good or-’ she rolled her eyes with a fond smile on her face and scooted close to him on the bed again.

‘Toshiro, I don’t expect anything from you, I don’t expect you to last a certain time or be the best at anything. Communication is key, if we do this, we do it together.’ She smirked at the little quote and Toshiro smiled back at her.

‘Alright,’ he nodded and let out a breath, ‘alright, yes, I want to be close to you.’

‘I have one request,’ she asked and he glanced at her. ‘I want to take off my own clothes, is that okay?’

He blinked a little confused but nodded. She hesitated for a second then slipped off the bed.

‘Rangiku, if you’re not comfortable-’

‘I am, I trust you,’ she smiled and reached up with her hands slowly unbuttoning her shirt. Toshiro watched her fingers work for a moment, they were shaking a little but with each button that was removed she seemed to grow more confident. He understood. He knew she had to do this to feel in control and he’d be happy to go along with anything as long as she knew that. She made her way down her shirt and once the last button was removed she slowly peeled it off her shoulders. Their eyes met and he smiled at her, he wasn’t eyeing up her body, not yet, he wanted her to know he loved her, not because she was sexy or had an amazing body but because she was a person he adored.

She smiled back at him and reached down to undo the buttons and zips on her dress trousers. They too then fell to the floor and she stepped out of them. She was now in her underwear and that much skin tone being exposed naturally drew his eyes away from hers for a moment. She was beautiful, her skin looked soft and smooth to the touch and here and there he spotted a little mole on her skin. He was determined to map them out, learn everything he could about her whole body. That thought filled him with an excited bout of butterflies and his eyes snapped back to hers, she was watching him intently and he reached out to her.

‘You’re so beautiful Rangiku, I love you so much,’ he felt himself flush as he said it even if it did sound silly and a bit pathetic she relaxed instantly. A tension she’d been holding in her shoulders slumped and she smiled again walking over to his outstretched hands and climbing into his lap on the bed. He did nothing more than wrap his arms around her and hold her for a few moments. She was warm and her skin really was as smooth and soft to the touch. He gently rubbed his hands up and down her warm back hoping his touch wasn’t too cold, then she leaned back away from him slightly and pressed her lips against his. This time it started slow, threading through all the emotions he wanted to express but was really bad at expressing. She moulded against him and he could feel the heat of her body through the thin layer of his shirt and dress trousers. It was doing stuff to him and she clearly felt it, she repositioned herself a little in his lap and he broke the kiss for a moment.

‘S-sorry,’ he mumbled shyly.

‘Toshiro,’ she placed a finger under his chin and tilted it up to look at her. When he glanced up she was smiling down at him, ‘don’t ever be sorry about that.’ She leaned her forehead against his and the two of them just shared the same air for a few moments. ‘I want to be close to you, I want to feel you.’

He felt his face flush at her words and swallowed thickly. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long at all and even though she’d said it was okay and she didn’t mind he wanted to make this special for her.

‘Do you trust me?’ he asked and there was a beat silence when he genuinely didn’t think she was going to respond. She pulled back and he opened his eyes to gaze at her, there was a mixture of confusion and care in her eyes.

‘Yes,’ she breathed, but her voice did shake slightly. She was clearly still unsure, scared but Toshiro could tell she was working hard to overcome it and it filled him with so much pride over how brave she was being.

‘I want to take care of you, if you’ll let me,’ he said, keeping eye contact and hoping that his gaze would convey just how much he cared for her.

Instead of answering she smiled sheepishly and her hands reached up behind her. He wasn’t sure what she was doing until her bra came loose and he swallowed thickly as she pulled it away. He glanced down and his eyes were immediately drawn to the small scars that curved under the two beautiful mounds. He reached out with a gentle finger and traced it over one of the scars. It made him feel insanely guilty. He knew he wasn’t the only reason for the decision but she had mentioned already that he was part of the reason. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against one of the scars. Rangiku sucked in a breath and he continued a gentle trail of butterfly kisses under her breasts. He felt her hand grasp the back of his neck and she physically restrained herself from slipping the hand up into his hair which he was thankful for because he didn’t want to get distracted now.

He waited until his lips had finished caressing each scar before he brought his hand up and gently cupped one of her breasts, trying to remember all the lessons that Yukio had given him. He reached out with his thumb and ran it over her hardening nipple. The effect was immediate, she gasped and he pulled back to watch her curiously. He repeated the action again and the flush on her face and her parted lips told him that she was indeed enjoying it.

‘Th-they’re a lot more sensitive than I thought,’ she mumbled as if speaking more to herself than to him.

‘If it gets uncomfortable, please tell me,’ Toshiro wet his lips with his tongue and leaned down to encase her left nipple in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. She moaned gently and her hand found its way up into his hair where she gripped tightly and he swallowed around the sensitive flesh in his mouth. She was going to distract him, but he didn’t want to break away and tell her off considering the beautiful noises that were spilling from her mouth. Then she started to grind down onto him and he choked back a moan of his own.

Not good, if she kept all that up he’d come in his own pants and that’d be even more embarrassing. He reached up with his hands around her back and pulled his mouth away, her frustrated groan making him smirk a little. He shifted himself and gently turned them around so she was lying down on the bed. The view was so lewd, her legs spread a little and the thin fabric covering her already looked soaking wet. The rest of her curves and skin laid bare before his eyes. He swallowed thickly, needing a moment to compose himself as he stripped off his shirt and removed his belt to allow himself a little more freedom.

‘You’ve got muscles,’ she smiled up at him and he felt his face flush in embarrassment, they were hardly muscles with how scrawny he was. However he did try to keep his body in a good physical condition for his own safety if he ever needed to use his self-defence training. Before he could retort her hand had come up to explore his chest and abs and he tensed at the feeling, the chain around his neck swinging free and catching her eye for a moment. Her hands finished exploring his torso and came up to touch the chin that was now swinging between them.

‘I don’t take it off,’ he said instantly.

‘Did your Gran get you it?’ she asked curiously and he smiled, it was amazing how well she knew him.

‘Yes, it was the last gift she ever got me.’ He said and she reached up and gently kissed it. He felt his heart flutter at the gesture. Rangiku then laid back down on the bed slowly, smiling up at him, her smile soon turned to a grin and she reached up gently touching his face with her hand before letting her fingertips trail gently down his throat and torso.

‘I like the fact your blush goes all the way down your chest,’ she mumbled and as she said it he felt himself flush more which only made her grin wider. ‘I like learning about you.’

He swallowed thickly and his heart stuttered in his chest.

‘I like learning about you too,’ he muttered and steadied himself over her with one arm as he brought his other hand up to grasp hers, raising it to his lips and kissing it. ‘Lie back, try and relax and let me know if at any point you feel uncomfortable alright?’ he gently nuzzled her hand as he spoke. She nodded, the smile not leaving her face and he pulled himself back so he could lower himself down.

He started with a soft kiss on the lips, something familiar and as his tongue invaded her mouth his hand gently skimmed up her side and cupped her breast again. He massaged it as he had done earlier his thumb flicking over her sensitive nipple and relished in the way she gasped into his mouth. He continued his mainstreams as he detached himself from her lips and began to kiss down her neck. She tiled her head back to give him better access and he took his time, finding the exact spot that Yukio had mentioned. She groaned and it encouraged him to pause for a moment and really explore the spot on her neck. Her back arched up off the bed into him and he had to bite down on his lip for a moment to stop a groan of his own. He decided to return to that spot later and trailed his kisses even lower, with it his hands moved lower as well. He was between her legs, his left hand now supporting his weight and his right hand slowly moving down to the rim of her pants. He ghosted over them, not wanting to do anything to fast to make her feel uncomfortable and instead his hand stroked the outside of her thigh, hitching her leg up over his back. His mouth came back into contact with her nipple and she moaned and arched off the bed again.

‘T-Toshiro,’ she gasped and he tried to ignore the very painful way his underwear and trousers were rubbing his erection as he continued to assault her nipple between his teeth. His hand which had hitched up her was now back on her body, exploring and massaging the other breast and her leg fell off his back as she spread them wide. He choked back a groan of his own as he leaned back for a moment and glanced down between them. His pelvis was just a couple of inches away from her and he had to take a steadying breath as he glanced back up. She was panting, her strawberry locks starting to stick to her forehead and she looked dishevelled and the sexiest thing he’d ever seen in his life.

‘Can I?’ he asked, his hand tracing lower back to the rim of her underwear, she nodded quickly, her eyes closed and her mouth still parted as she tried her best to regulate her breathing. He allowed his fingers to slip between her legs and feel her through the fabric of her underwear, she was soaking wet. He rested his forehead for a moment against her shoulder as he tried his best to control himself. He could feel her gasp and mumble his name again as he began to apply a little bit of pressure and rub her through her underwear. He was clearly doing something right if she hadn’t corrected him so far.

‘Toshiro,’ she mumbled, ‘p-please,’ she was panting and it was probably the sexiest he’d ever heard her voice. He swallowed and pulled himself back away from her for a moment before reaching down to help her rid her underwear, the last barrier stopping him from seeing _all_ of her. One removed and tossed on the floor somewhere he took a few moments to gaze at her, she was stunning. He was pretty sure that even her vagina could be a model if it wanted to be. Clearly growing embarrassed with his staring though she moved her legs to block his vision and he glanced up at her.

‘Ah sorry,’ he mumbled shyly climbing back up over her and attempting to kiss some of the blush away from her, ‘you’re just so beautiful.’

‘It feels weird to have someone staring so intently at it,’ she mumbled shyly against his lips and he nodded.

‘I know I’m sorry, I just want to commit all of you to my memory,’ he said truthfully before leaning back again, ‘but we can work up to that if it makes you uncomfortable.’ He figured he’d be pretty uncomfortable if a girl or guy was staring that intently to the inside of his asshole and with that thought in mind he could see how invasive it was to maybe stare. Instead he let his fingers do the exploring rather than his eyes. He ghosted his fingers back down over her body and she parted her legs again relaxing slightly.

The clit was surprisingly a lot easier to find than he’d been anticipating. Thanks to Yukio’s directions and as soon as he found it he knew because Rangiku had gasped and arched off the bed again. So this was the bundle of nerves that held more nerve endings that the head of a cock? He somehow had struggled to see how that was possible and yet here he was having captured it between his front and middle finger and rubbing it so quickly that it seemed to be causing convulsions in her body.

‘ _Oh, f-fuck,_ ’ she gasped and he resisted the urge to grind his erection against her right leg that seemed to be in the perfect position for him to do so. ‘T-Toshiro,’ she gasped and he sensed that she wanted to say more, he eased off the constant rubbing for a moment for her to bark and barely coherent instruction at him. ‘In me,’ she gasped.

‘Hold on,’ he groaned, coming up to gently kiss at her neck again, ‘I want to try something else first.’ He moved away from her neck and she blinked at him confused when he gently pressed two fingers against her wet entrance. Her mouth parted for a second and her legs spread a little wider in invite as he slowly pressed in. She felt amazing, soft like warm wet velvet around his fingers and quite tight. Everything Yukio had said was true, she was definitely aroused, which meant it should be easier for him to find. He tried his best to judge about two inches when he curled in fingers, he stroked her gently on the inside, but all around him was the same feeling of warm wet velvet. He soon started to doubt himself and Rangiku opened her mouth.

‘ _What are y- oh_!’ she gasped her mouth falling open and Toshiro registered the slight ridge feeling his fingers has glossed over. There it was. She gasped and put a hand on his shoulder. ‘What, was _that_?’ Toshiro tried to hide his smugness, Yukio had mentioned not many women had experienced this before.

‘It’s your G-Spot,’ he stated matter of factly, he tried to commit the location to memory as much as he could but knew it would be something he’d have to look for the first few times before it became natural.

‘Oh,’ she gasped as if she was unable to think of anything else to say. He continued to move his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion inside of her and she moaned loudly and arched her pelvis up off the bed. He almost lost the spot for a moment before finding it again. He eased some of his body weight down on top of her to try and stop her squirming so much as his thumb stroked up and began to rub against her clit.

She swore, loudly at that moment and lost all sense of the Japanese language as he lowered his head down and captured one of her sensitive nipples in his mouth. It took a few moments before his hand started to seize up from the awkward angle but one last harsh flick of his tongue, thumb and fingers had her throwing back her head and shouting his name loudly out into the room. He felt her walls constrict around his fingers followed by an immediate wetness as he tried his best to stroke her through it. He counted to ten in his mind then retracted his soaking fingers and rolled off of her. He lay beside her as she lay panting on the bed and watched her beautiful flushed face as she tried to regain her composure.

‘Tha-’ she tried to gasp before shaking her head and smiling. ‘Where did you learn all that?’ she finally managed to ask, turning towards him and look of absolute awe on her face. He took a moment to appreciate the view, how her strawberry hair was clinging to her forehead and cheeks, how the flush blended into the colour of her hair so perfectly and he swallowed.

‘Well let’s just say Yukio taught me a lot,’ he chuckled and she shook her head.

‘I didn’t even know… I mean I knew the G-spot was thing but just…’ she took a deep breath and shook her head.

‘Not many guys know it exists so a lot of women assume they don’t have one because their partners are so uneducated.’ Toshiro practically quoted Yukio, he was now so glad that the other boy had taken so much time to give him such an uncomfortable chat yet educational chat.

‘Well I am impressed,’ she said moving over to curl up against him and Toshiro opened his arms wide for her. Her head rested against his shoulder and he was glad she was polite enough not to comment on the very obvious boner in his black slacks. ‘Give me a moment,’ she muttered as her body convulsed against him.

‘Are you cold?’ he asked instantly and she just shook her head against him.

After a few more seconds she seemed to settle down then she pulled back and grinned at him.

‘Now I get to return the favour?’ she muttered sexily into his ear as her hand slowly grazed up his clothed erection.

He gasped and grabbed her hand. She instantly stopped pulling back to gaze at him.

‘S-sorry,’ he muttered flushing, he didn’t want to put her off. ‘I literally nearly came as you did,’ he groaned throwing his arm across his face in embarrassment.

‘Toshiro,’ she muttered peeling his arm away with surprising strength and forcing him to look at her, ‘please stop being embarrassed about that. I find it endearing that you almost got off just by bringing me pleasure. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation like that before,’ she pulled his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles in a way that had become so familiar to their relationship. ‘Please, I want to make your first time special,’ she smiled down at him and he swallowed.

‘I really won’t last very long,’ he mumbled and she rolled her eyes with a smile.

‘I don’t care, please, please let me do this for you?’

He knew he was being childish but he really wanted to last a long time, he wanted to be the kind of guy that they could have long hours spent having sexual intercourse and he could find the numerous different ways to locate her g-spot with his own dick.

‘Okay,’ he finally agreed, maybe it would be easier to control himself if he knew what he was up against. She smiled and moved to undo his pants. He lifted his hips off the bed for a moment as she went about pulling the black slacks and boxers down in one full movement, pleased she hadn’t just removed the slacks because he was sure his boxers would be in some state. The rest of his clothes ended up somewhere on the floor, likely beside wherever her underwear had gone.

‘You’ve got a really pretty cock Toshiro,’ she mumbled as she stroked a finger up his entire length. He felt himself twitch just at the subtle movement and tried not to focus on the image of how close her mouth was to his dick.

‘T-thanks,’ he stuttered. He watched as she straightened up on top of him and reached down to grasp him. He gasped and resisted the urge to buck into her touch.

‘Do- ah, do we need a condom?’ he asked glancing up at her.

‘If you want to that’s fine with me, but I’m safe and I’m on birth control. I’m happy for our first time to be without one,’ she said, ‘I want to feel all of you and I want you to feel everything too.’

He swallowed thickly and nodded his head, watching as she lowered herself down. He felt the head of his cock breach her wet walls with ease and he literally almost came on the spot, his toes curling and his whole body shivering at the feeling. He took a deep breath and tried to focus on something else as she lowered himself down completely on top of him until he was buried all the way inside her. Opening his eyes he glanced up at her flushed face, his hands had found their way to her hips and his thumbs were rubbing gentle circles into her skin. He glanced down at where they were connected and tried to commit the feeling of her hot wet walls around him to memory. It would be something he would never forget.

He adjusted his grip on her, his thumbs now gently massaging lower, directly over where her ovaries would be and she groaned.

‘I could get used to this,’ she mumbled and without giving him any other warning she rose and began to sink back down on him.

‘F-fuck,’ he gasped, ‘Rangiku wa-wait,’ his voice was low and throaty and he knew his eyes were blown wide with lust. ‘I’m going…’ he gritted his teeth and held off as she rose and fell on his cock another couple of times before he doubled over and the most powerful orgasm he’d ever had in his life washed through him. She gasped and leaned forward her two hands coming out to support herself from falling onto him. He felt himself release heavily inside her before flopping back down on the bed. He was gasping for air, his chest rising and falling and winced a little as she moved off of him and his member slipped out.

He was right, he’d not managed to last long at all.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked reaching out and gently stroking a finger down his chest. He felt like his skin was on fire, like every single part of him was covered in sensitive nerve endings and they were all trying to convey messages to his brain at the exact same time.

‘Yes,’ he panted finally, after a moment. Resisting the urge to apologise again for his lack of control. He hadn’t expected sex with someone he loved so deeply to feel so fucking good.

‘I’m glad,’ she moved forward into him and he held his arms open for her to cuddle up beside him. They didn’t talk for a while as his mind slowly calmed down, she was clearly listening to the thudding of his heart and as soon as it had returned to a normal pace she adjusted her angle so she could gaze at him. ‘I love you.’

He broke into a stupidly goofy smile and gently pecked her lips, ‘I love you too.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be out in a couple of weeks, we're getting closer to the end! Don't forget to leave us your comments and reviews <3 we love reading them!
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**Author's Note:**

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